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  Just 9 more days to go!  Yowza.  Just made up my first batch of strawberry sugar-free jell-o (the first of many!) so I am good to go for the day.

I read a great article this morning and wanted to post it here so I will be able to find it when I need it!

~~~

Have confidence in your surgery - trust the pouch!
by Susan Maria Leach of BariatricEating.com

When we have our surgery and return home from the hospital, we are all very tentative and afraid of what is next - how will we feel when we take those first sips, or bites?

So we start off with thin liquids, progress to thicker liquids, then to purees, and then softer foods and begin to panic that we do not sense a true fullness.

I read everything that had been written, both good and bad, about this surgery, I was one of those who knew what to expect on paper, and I remember writing the post questioning why I didn't feel full and worrying about it. 'I am eating soups, ricotta, thick icy protein shakes, and bean purees, yet I don't feel full... I only stop because of fear'.

Well, now I know that in these squishy food stages, we are eating a very small amount in each bite, and the food is running out of our pouch while we are putting more in so there is never really any true satisfaction created by the food actually accumulating and filling the pouch, pressing the sides, and sending a signal to the brain that it is FULL.

Once we progress a little further however, it hits us like a ton of bricks... shrimp, fish, chicken... WHAM! I realized that even mid bite, sometimes I would have to spit it out as I didn't want to swallow it. From that moment of clarity forward, I got it. I always use my pouch as a tool. I have learned that if I fill it with moist protein foods first, until I feel that I am nearing that feeling of satisfaction those last few bites are vegetables or protein blended with vegetables to create a soft fill. 

I know many post ops that never get over the fear of eating - they eat that single tablespoon to 1/4 cup of food, and never go past it. They stop eating before all the wonderful strong signals manifest themself! They never feel that creeping awareness of satisfaction, or that hiccup signal, or fullness as they stop before these signals come about.

Many who don't achieve satiety are never full and graze by eating small amounts all day long. Always somewhat filling the pouch but never to satisfaction, which is the strongest feeling we can create for ourselves. I know people who only take three bites of food but repeat it all day long - they don't gain weight, they still lose - but they never enter that post op comfort zone where you know that you don't have to worry about consumption as long as you choose to eat proteins first. The live in fear and have no comfort that the pouch will stop them.

In addition, the feeling of satiety or fullness lasts a very long time once it is triggered. Once I hit that zone, I don't want to eat for a very long time. They are often hungry as they never trigger their own response!

These two bite grazers live in a perpetual panic because they never use their pouch as a tool. It is almost like a trapeze artist at the circus - the net is there to catch them, but they are in such fear that they never fly high or really soar as they never have that confidence that they won't fall. They never trust or test the net!

If you are one of these post ops that at 5 or months post op, measures your food, and stops eating before you feel full, learn to rely on your food choices and your pouch rather than your measuring cup. I do believe that it will allow you to relax and rely on your pouch as the tool it is meant to be and give you the feeling of lasting fullness that escapes you.  

~~~

Excellent advice!  I hope I can remember this in about 5 months.

Here is my food log for today:

10:30 AM     BG:  101
10:40 AM     Protein shake - 30g protein, 6g sugar
12:30 PM      BG:  111
 1:00 PM       Sugar-free popsicles
 2:00 PM       Beef broth - 1g protein, 0g sugar
 3:30 PM       BG:  89
 3:30 PM       Protein shake - 42g protein, 14g sugar
 5:30 PM       BG:  112
 7:30 PM       Orange juice - 0g protein, 10g sugar
 8:45 PM       BG:  96
 8:45 PM       Carnation instant breakfast, skim milk - 16g protein, 21g sugar
 9:00 PM       Sugar-free Jell-o
11:00 PM      BG:  89

TOTALS:  89g protein, 51g sugar

I have stayed a lot busier today, doing laundry, dishes, etc... so it has been easier to keep my mind off the surgery.  And it didn't help that my poor son got sick this afternoon (all over my poor husband!) and only wanted Mommy to hold him for a few hours.  Hence the orange juice at 7:30 PM, laying on the couch with a sick kiddo in my arms, trying to avoid a low blood glucose.  But all is well, he is sleeping now, so hoping that it was just sinus drainage making him nauseated and NOT a stomach virus.  THAT is the last thing we need!
So much to do, so little time left until the surgery.  But staying busy is good, right? 

  Well, I'm in the home stretch now.

I have begun the 10-day full-liquid low-sugar diet!  (It is required by my surgeon, to help shrink my liver pre-op.)  Here are the guidelines:
IN MODERATION:  Gatorade, juice, no-sugar-added fudgesicles, skim milk, light yogurt, light cottage cheese, low-sugar protein powder supplements
IN ANY AMOUNT:  Water, sugar-free beverages such as Crystal Light, coffee, tea, broth soups, sugar-free popsicles, sugar-free Jell-o

Because I have type 2 diabetes, I have to make sure I am taking in carbs every few hours to avoid hypoglycemia (low blood glucose).  I have been down in the 60s before, and it is NOT fun.  I can't imagine passing out from low blood glucose - that would be terrible.  So I am trying to be diligent and check my glucose often to see how my body reacts to this regimen.

Here is what I am eating today!  (I will update throughout the day.)

 7:00 AM      BG (blood glucose):  120 - It is not usually this high.  It is usually under 100, but I made poor food choices last night.
 7:30 AM      Protein shake - 30g protein, 6g sugar
 9:30 AM      BG:  112
10:00 AM     Light yogurt - 5g protein, 12g sugar
12:20 PM      BG:  93
12:30 PM      Fat-free refried beans, low-fat shredded cheese, low-fat sour cream - 22g protein, 4g sugar
 2:15 PM       BG:  116
 2:30 PM       Low-fat cottage cheese, reduced-sugar orange juice - 14g protein, 15g sugar
 3:30 PM       Chicken broth - 1g protein, 0g sugar
 4:30 PM       Sugar-free Jell-o pudding made with skim milk - 16g protein, 22g sugar
 6:20 PM       BG:  109
 7:00 PM       Beef broth - 1g protein, 0g sugar
 9:00 PM       Cool whip - 0g protein, 6g sugar
10:00 PM      BG:  130
10:00 PM      Light yogurt - 5g protein, 12g sugar

TOTALS:  94g protein, 77g sugar

And yes, I am aware that some of the above food choices were not exactly on the list of approved pre-op foods.  (The refried beans are really supposed to be a post-op protein source, and the cool whip was just an insane craving, which I should have avoided.)  I didn't completely follow the plan.  But at least I was honest with myself!  

My protein total for the day is great!  I just need to work on getting my amount of sugar down to a minimum.  The skim milk in the pudding, two servings of yogurt, and cup of orange juice were what really did me in today as far as grams of sugar.  Tomorrow my goal is to stick to the list of recommended foods and behave myself.

If I don't go crazy on this liquid diet, I will have RNY gastric bypass surgery in just 10 days!  Woo-hoo! 

  Sometimes people say things that just crack me up.

I took my son to his friend's third birthday party last week.  It was at a McDonald's playplace.  And they served homemade chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.  And ice cream.  Oh, the humanity!

What made me laugh was this:  I ordered dinner for my son - with a milk to drink.  I didn't think anything of it; that is what I always order for him when we end up eating out somewhere.  Initially I didn't realize that all the other parents had ordered their kids Coke, Mountain Dew, sweet tea, etc.  My kiddo was the only one drinking milk.  This was the point of much speculation, including the comment that I was the "healthy mom" of the bunch.  Yup, the most overweight mom in the room being called "the healthy mom."  It struck me funny, but I ended up taking it as a compliment.

Ever since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in May 2009, I have really been making an effort to eat healthier, and to feed my husband and my son healthy food as well. So I am proud to report that my 2-year-old son loves eating apples, bananas, carrot sticks and broccoli with ranch dressing, and even salad!  Our house is free of cookies, ice cream, candy, chocolate, and things like that.  That way, if I am craving something like that, I have to get in my car and DRIVE somewhere to buy something like that.  And that always makes me think twice.  So it has been very helpful to me in dealing with my cravings!  If it isn't in the house, I can't eat it.  So now, the most SINFUL thing in the cabinet is chocolate fudge sugar-free Jello instant pudding mix.  (I know, I am SO naughty.)

Maybe when I have gastric bypass surgery in two weeks, my body will start catching up with my brain, and I will begin to LOOK like the "healthy mom" that I know I can be. 

 Saying my prayers that all will go well on March 8th.

I have made it this far... a wise fish once said, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming..."  (Yes, that would be Dory from "Finding Nemo.")  Today the surgery scheduler called me to tell me that my insurance paperwork had all been processed, and everything was good to go, and I only had to pay $250 up front since I haven't met my insurance deductible yet.  No biggie; I can swing that.  But get this: she opens with, "I hope I'm not bothering you..."  Bless her heart.  She can call me as much as she wants to call me; she is my favorite person right now!

Currently reading:  "Before and After" by Susan Maria Leach; "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies" by Kurian/Thompson/Davidson

Yesterday evening I got online and hit all the major WLS vitamin/supplement websites, looking for a good place to get my post-op vitamins.  I am so OCD that I am going to have to go with the vitamins/supplements that are made for bariatric patients - plain old Walmart vitamins just aren't going to cut it for me after surgery.  I am HAPPY to report that I placed a HUMONGOUS order for a 3-month supply of my multivitamin, calcium citrate, iron, vitamin D, vitamin B-12, biotin, and omega-3... and got everything on the "auto refill" option too, so I won't have to think about reordering, and they will just magically show up on my doorstep right when I need them.  That's how crazy I am.  And it makes me happy.

Anyhoo, I have been working on my list of (a) things that I need to take to the hospital, and (b) things that I need to have at home post-op.  Here is what I have so far:

THINGS TO TAKE TO THE HOSPITAL
Pajama pants
Bathrobe
Slippers for walking the halls
Comfy pillow
Chapstick
Lotion
Baby wipes for "bird baths" in bed
Pen and paper
Hubby's laptop for free WIFI access!

THINGS TO HAVE AT HOME POST-OP
Tylenol extra-strength liquid
Gas-X chewables
Small plates/bowls/utensils
Water bottles – no straws or sippy cups
Food processor
Carnation instant breakfast mix (no sugar added)
Heating pad
Crystal Light mix
Sugar-free popsicles
Sugar-free Jell-o gelatin and pudding mix
Vitamin B12 (sublingual)
Digital scale for weighing food
Measuring cups/spoons
Baby food? (proteins)
Canned tuna and chicken
Small plastic Dixie cups
Biotin supplement
Protein samples (Unjury, Chike, etc.)
Strainer for soup/broths  
Refried beans (fat-free)
Decaf mint tea
Low-fat cheese
Ice cube trays for freezing pureed meats (1 oz portions to microwave)
Splenda
Low-carb yogurt
Pill crusher
Calcium citrate (NOT calcium carbonate)
So, you WLS veterans... what am I forgetting?  What did you REALLY need after surgery? 

  I got the call from my surgeon's office this morning.

My RNY surgery is scheduled for Monday, March 8th, at 10:30 AM.  They are mailing out my information packet today.  I am so excited and SCARED about having a date!  It makes it all very real, and this is actually happening.  I am going to have gasric bypass surgery.  Now reality is setting in, and I am second guessing my decision.  I am doing the right thing, I know it in my heart, but it's just strange actually having a date to look forward to.

Surgery is only 20 days away! 

 Happy dance!  Happy dance!

Today I got a letter from my insurance company... "Based on the review of the information related to your provider inquiry and applicable terms of your plan, it appears the proposed laparoscopic gastric bypass is a covered benefit under the plan." 

WOO-HOO!  In layman's terms, that means we are good to go.  Of course, they leave enough wiggle room to make me nervous, but that's to be expected.  "This is an advisory opinion only and is not a guarantee of benefits."  But it's enough to get me scheduled for surgery, so that's enough for me.  Now I just have to wait for my surgeon's office to call me - if I don't go bonkers and call them first, and annoy them beyond all belief.  The letter is dated February 4th, and the surgeon's office probably just got their approval letter today too, so hopefully they will call some time this week.

That's some GOOD news that I really needed today!

  Ugh.  Time is moving so slowly!

I am currently waiting to hear back from my insurance company about gastric bypass surgery.  I found out last week that, although I thought my paperwork had been sent in to my insurance company the first week of January it ended up sitting on someone's desk until the middle of January.  So my "HAPPY NEWS" phone call has been delayed by about two weeks.  Bummer.  I am trying not to think about it, because I will just worry myself into a tizzy about something I have no control over.  And then I will call the surgeon's office and annoy them to death, which I DO NOT want to do.  C'mon, peeps.  Time is a'wasting.  How hard is it to determine that a fat girl needs weight loss surgery?

I am trying to hang in there... with every day that goes by, I get more and more scared that I will be denied. 

  I love Carnie Wilson!

The first time I ever saw Carnie Wilson was on the cover of a Wilson Phillips cassette tape... their self-titled debut album was always in rotation in my tape player back in the day.  I loved the three-part harmonies, and probably can still remember the words to every song on that album, as much as I listened to it.   The next time I remember hearing about her was years later, when she had her gastric bypass surgery, and there was all this media hoopla about it.  It didn't mean much to me at the time, because gastric bypass surgery was such a new, seemingly outlandish thing to me, and I really didn't even understand what it was... must be something only rich, famous people get to have done, right? 

So in the spring of 2009 I finally decided that WLS was worth looking into, and immediately started doing research on the internet.  Of course, Carnie Wilson is still a spokesperson of sorts for WLS, and I was so interested in her story that I bought both her books... I couldn't put them down because I was really engaged by the truthfulness of her story.  No pretty, flowery, rose-colored glasses here, and though a little too brash for my tastes at times, her story really inspired me.  Her books were really informative, and they helped me make my decision about WLS.

So just yesterday I saw a promo on the internet about a new show she is doing, a reality show on GSN, called "Unstapled."  It follows her daily life with her kids and husband and family and friends and... it makes me wish I had GSN just to see how she is doing now.  (Doggone basic cable!)  Maybe I can hunt it down somewhere on the internet.  Hulu?

I know that she has had problems with regaining weight since her WLS and pregnancies, but I applaud her for making her WLS journey so public. 

  I have a confession to make:  I have no idea what I look like.

I have been overweight forever, but I really have no concept of my body or the space it takes up.  I look in the mirror, and I see my face.  That's it, just my face.  Because that is the "me" that I have gotten to know over the past 30 years, and not the body attached to the face.  That body isn't me.  I guess I have never really accepted my body, or really owned it, and I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  I see myself in photos or videos and think, "is that really what I look like?"  Because I forget sometimes that I am as big as I am.  Strange, but true.

So I don't know how I will cope when my body starts to shrink - I really haven't even considered that aspect of WLS.  I know I will be healthier, have more energy, be able to come off some of my medications, and OH YEAH another nice side effect is that I won't be as overweight as I currently am.  But am I ready to NOT BE FAT?  That's a hard question.  But I really don't know if I am really aware of my size right now anyway, other than a number on the scale, so I don't know how things will change. 

This is uncharted territory, people. 

  I am so impatient.

Ok, so after six months of weigh-ins, I had my final consultation with the surgeon on December 29th.  He said I am an ideal candidate for gastric bypass, and now he just has to dictate a report for my medical record.  The office staff said that everything should be ready to go to the insurance company by Friday, January 8th.

But I am ready to have this surgery YESTERDAY, people.  Can we move it along here?  The six months of weigh-ins was bad enough... now the wait to hear back from the insurance company is going to kill me!  The sweet little insurance coordinator said that they usually hear back from my insurance company about two weeks after requests are made... so hopefully we will have an approval by the end of January, at the very latest.

I am going to go crazy waiting!