girlscout39

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I have learned that:

I can no longer wear Extra Long Overnight Pads, unless I like the "straddling a canoe in your pants" look.  Especially in lightweight capri pants.

Ok everyone was talking about Death Poos a few days ago on the boards.  Got me so tickled.  But I just took a Poo and lost 4 lbs.  I mean come on!!  But LOVIN' 205!!  Almost a "overweight" BMI.  No more obese (almost)!

This happened a few weeks ago, but it still amazes me.

My husband and I were laying in bed and I was kicking my legs in different directions watching how all the excess skin and loose fat would fall in every direction depending on how I moved.  I was commenting, how gross, that's disgusting, blah blah blah.

And I keep getting him to look and he gets up and pulls back the extra skin from my leg (making it appear smaller) and he goes "WOW, look how skinny you really are".

He was being dead serious.

It brings tears to my eyes still to think about it.  But that is how he sees me.  He doesn't see the fat, the pudge, the skin.  He sees the real me.  Battle scars and all, inside and out.  He loves the real me.

God willing I will try to remember that and do the same.

209! 209! 209!  ***dances***

I officially weigh less than my husband!  Oh sweet sweet success.  He actually seemed amused and put out at the same time when we compared.  I told him his wife SHOULD weigh less than him!!!  And I weigh less by 3 lbs!!!

Next--Come on ONEDERLAND!

So one of my goals is to weigh less than my husband.  I have been struggling with this goal and yesterday we both weighed and I weighed 1/10th of a pound more than him!  One stinkin' tenth of a pound!

I gotchoo babe!  Give me a week....

Today is my 8 month surgiversary.  I weigh 213.  130 lbs lost from date of surgery.  152 lbs lost from last year.  I wear a size 16 pants.   Med to large shirts from juniors section.  I am losing around 2 lbs a week now average.  I thought I was stalled out, but its just slower now.  Plus this month I have not been to the gym.  I will rectify that today I hope.  But with travel, a family reunion in Miss and moving there has not been time for everything.  

I am learning alot about myself.  The biggest thing is how much I don't know.  I am learning that I am not always nice and that is okay.  I am learning that I don't know what people are thinking.  I think perhaps I've misinterpreted alot in life.  I think people are hitting on me sometimes when they are not, because I don't have alot of experience in that area.  There are oceans of personal contact I have missed out on or avoided due to my weight.  People do base alot of things on looks though.  I know I don't hardly have to work at all for people to like me.  I used to work so hard all the time.  Being extra nice.  Being caring.  Being funny.  I wasn't being fake, but God the effort I would expend to be what everyone wanted.  I have also found out that I do still have to work some to keep friends.  For awhile I think I became so super-absorbed in myself that everything was based on me and how people reacted to me and the new me.  And some of my friendships drifted apart.  I don't think it was because they were jealous.  But for crying out loud, I don't have to drown them daily in every 1/2 lbs I lose, and they don't have to reassure me every 5 mins how great I look.  

Anyway, that is it for today I guess.  I want to still be a caring person.  I am trying to find balance.

I had set a mini-goal for myself to weigh 220lbs by my husband's birthday of August 9, 2007 and I made it their today!  YAY!!

Next goal-- get under 200!

I am almost at goal.  It is so shocking.  I estimate I will probably be at goal on or around January 20,2008.

Weight loss has slowed down quite a bit.  I lose about 10 lbs per month now, which is still awesome.  But everytime I go to the gym, I lose, so I know that is the most important thing for me to keep losing and then to maintain later.  I have to work.  LOL.  No big surprise there.  At least I enjoy it for the most part.

That being said, today is 7 months and 3 days from my date of surgery.  I weigh 221 lbs.  That is 144 lbs gone from my highest weight last year.  That is 122 lbs gone from my date of surgery.

Things are still rocking along very well.  I get alot of attention from the opposite sex which is hard for me to deal with sometimes.  As a matter of fact, when it happens I run for cover.  Literally.  I need to work on smiling gracefully, and declining gracefully.  I am flattered and terrified whenever it happens.  And I am a married woman, be serious guys!

I can eat just about everything except bread.  Sometimes coffee makes me ill which hurts my feelings!  And I crave it constantly, so I don't know what that is about.  I have tons more energy.  I have weird bones that pop out of places I didn't know I had.  I can count every rib in my rib cage by feel.  You can see alot of them.  I can keep up with my son.  Life is so good.  I give it all to God.

I am still in shock from my new weight 2 days ago.  I didn't weigh today cause it's "that time of the month".

But I did go on a little spree yesterday because my hubby said he didn't mind if I bought some new clothes.

I went to Target, and I still can't get over that I can shop in the regular ladies clothes.  I arrived and immediately went into the plus sized, and then tentatively inched my way into the regular.  I still feel like someone is going to say or think, "Hey!  You don't belong here!".

I ended up with several short knee length skirts (a first for me) and a sun dress in a SIZE 16 FITTED!!!!!!!!!

Amazing!