heatherh

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I joined the Y over a month ago, but I finally made it to aquafit Tuesday night and Wednesday morning.  I am so sore.  But it is a good feeling.  The instructor gave us a really gave us a good workout Wednesday, and the thing that impressed me was that she was really working it, too.  I get weighed in this morning at TOPS, so I am hoping I am going to be down.  I better be.  We have our Christmas party today and we are going for lunch.  I am looking forward to it.  It's a buffet and I know that next year at this time, I won't be able eat a heck of a lot.  I just don't want to overdo it today.

I will try this again.  Each time I try to update my profile, my computer freezes and I lose what I have written.  So now I am writing this in Word and I’ll save it and not have to retype it.  Life has been interesting in the past couple of days.  I have had a few days where I just wanted to eat and it didn’t matter what it was.  Today was better.  My parents came over for dinner and we had steak and shrimp with vegetables and potatoes.  It was a lot of fun.  We played Uno Attack, which we got at Value Village.  Then we watched a program that my Dad had taped for me on a woman who had gastric bypass surgery at 627 lbs and the complications and the successes she had.  It was really interesting.  It put things into perspective for me.  I know this journey will not be easy for me; it is a huge change.  I don’t want to have to wait until mid January to see the dietician and social worker.  I know it allows me the mental preparation and I just have to expect it.  I got myself a bathing suit today, so now I can go for aquafit.  They (bathing suits) are so freaking expensive.  It was over $100 with tax.  And the thing that cracks me up is that they make two piece bathing suits for plus size people, which is what I ended up getting.  Thought I’d have to wait til I lost the weight before I did that.  Granted the top actually looks like the whole bathing suit and that helps.  And a good thing happened when I went to pay for the bathing suit, I had thrown the money in a pocket of my purse and found a ring I thought I had lost.  I was so happy.

Today is a weird day for me.  I just feel down.  The weather isn't helping any.  I wish it would only snow at Christmas and be gone the next day.  But unfortunately, it doesn't and that's what you get for living in the snow belt!  I went to the Nutrition House today to start looking at protein shakes to see how much they were and what flavours they have.  I was happy to see some variety.  I want to try the Raspberry Cheesecake and the Orange Dreamsicle.  And they weren't too pricy considering the size of container you get and the fact that they last for a month.  I will shop around and get some different ideas.  The saleslady also told me I could get the vanilla flavour and add flavourings to it.  That reminds me too much of being on the Optifast diet and mixing it with orange pop.  Did it once and it foamed up over the blender, never again.  Maybe I'll try some peppermint extract.  Remind me of candy canes.  I am so glad to have found this site.  It has been a great support for me.  And the fact that there is a place to write down my feelings is even better.  I just had my review of my disability claim and found out they are giving me some money to help with special diet.  My doctor helped me with that.  When I see the dietician in January, I can see about getting some additional help.  One the new form, they actually have a category for morbid obesity.  I was happy to see that.  Anyways, I will write more later.

I am so happy!  I weighed in this morning at TOPS and I am down 5.25 lbs this week.  The only thing I really changed was that I tried to stop eating late at night.  I still did, but not as much.  I think, too, I was putting myself under a lot of stress worrying about my consultation with Dr. Starr and not knowing what to expect.  Now I just have to start getting to the Y.  I have a membership, I might as well use it.  Next week I am buying myself a bathing suit so that I can do aquafit.  It is my favourite thing to do.  I found a picture yesterday of myself when I was about 15, and I hope that I can get back down to that size.  It is my inspiration picture.  That is my goal.

Well I met Dr. Starr today and was thoroughly impressed by him and his staff.  I was immediately made welcome and put at ease.  When I was in with Dr. Starr he saw that I had done research on the surgery and I was able to ask my questions first before he went in to his speel.  My surgery date is June 26/06!  I am happy, nervous, scared, overwhelmed and a bunch of other emotions.  The next step is now to see the dietician and social worker and that is in January.  Wow.  After talking to another member at Dr. Starr's office, I was told that Dr. Joffe's list is 12 years long.  I can't believe that.  So, that's it for now.  I will post some more later when I have really processed what happened today.

I saw my pcp today for my yearly physical and she is totally behind me having the surgery.  She is willing to do whatever Dr. Starr needs and would be really surprised if he didn't consider me a candidate.  My concern is that I don't have many co-morbidies, other than asthma and infections due to my skin being constantly in contact with other skin.  So far, knock on wood, I have always tested negative for diabetes and thyroid problems, my blood pressure is normal and my cholesterol is "normal" considering my weight.  I think I am getting ahead of myself and starting to worry about my appointment.  I will try to put it out of my mind for now.

It's hard to believe that in three days I see Dr. Starr.  And to boot, I should get my surgery date at the same time.  I hope that he considers me a candidate.

My appointment time has been changed on the 18th from 10:30 to 8:30 in the morning.  I am starting to get nervous about the whole procedure, but I am encouraged by reading people's profiles and knowing that I am not alone.  I think about the quote I have at the beginning of my profile and think of all the obstacles I have put in my way.  It just really hit home today.  I have been doing more research on the surgery and finding out about the process.  I know there are some people I go to TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) with who think that the surgery is taking the easy way out, but I can't worry about what they think.  They aren't carrying around 350+ lbs on their bodies.  They don't know what it is like.  I think things will sink in more for me once I see Dr. Starr.  I hope that I can get a date that isn't too far off.  I want my life back.  I deserve it and I am going to be happy.

I got a call from Dr. Starr's office today and my consultation has been set for November 18th at 10:30 in the morning.  I am excited and apprehensive at the same time.  I need to look at all the angles before I decide to do this.

After reading about Dr. Starr on the message boards, I called his office to find out what was required to get in to see him. I was told I needed a referral from my family doctor and then, once it was received, I would see him in November.  So, of course, when I called my doctor, she was out of the office for the day.  I had the receptionist pass the info on for me.  I knew my doctor wouldn't have a problem giving a referral for me, as she had done it last year for Dr. Joffee.  I decided to contact Dr. Starr because it meant that I don't have to go across the border and apply for out of country coverage.  If it comes to that I will, but I am taking one step at a time.