Wow One year already!! 4/12/2011

Apr 12, 2011

Wow I so can't believe it, it's been a year already. I have lost 196lbs, I so wanted to hit 200lbs gone before this date and yes I have beat myself up about it, stupid I know, I have come so far and done so great but why do I have to beat myself up?? Ugh sometimes my mind doesn't shut up. You know it hasn't been a easy ride, I have had some low vitamin issues but on top of it. I'm very happy that I did this surgery. No regrets and no turning back. Sometimes I'm in a funk or other people get on my nerves with there comments but I understand its all a BIG change for everyone, especially me!

It's a big eye opener, I'm not treated the way I use to be, I don't get the stares from people or hear the kids saying comments about me, in fact I haven't even paid attention to that lol wow that's crazy. Maybe before I was just so miserable that I would notice everything, Now I look like everyone else and "fit" in. At work I have people I don't even know come up to me and tell me how great I look, and it freaks me out. I'm not use to it. Maybe its the fact that I can no longer hide behind my fat. Maybe I should just throw my hands in the air and say HELLO WORLD, I AM HERE!!!! lol Hearing I'm a inspiration is just mind blowing. Me  no way. Hmmm maybe??

All I can say is I still have a way to go and I'm not giving up, and I hope my head catches up to all the changes soon. I have a lot of soul searching to do. Here is to continuing with my Journey!!!!

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