hollysmiles2001

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Well it's been a long time since I wrote a blog, I was a total slacker for my 6 month follow-up. I know I'm going to regret that further down the road when I can't remember how I was progressing through the weight loss, but I'll kick myself later. I had my 9 month follow-up appointment with Dr. Brader last week and things are going pretty good. My blood pressure is great (better than it's ever been), but I'm still taking my medications. I asked my PCP about the possibility of stopping the medication around the 6 month mark, but she skirted around the issue. I see her next week again for another check-up and I want a definite answer. I know the possibility exists that I may always have to take that, but if their is any chance I can be taken off the meds........I would be elated. My heart rate is in the 70's compared to the high 90's when I first started this journey and my BMI went from 55 to 36.........woohoo, I'm not longer considered morbidly obese, just obese. lol Whoever would've thought I'd be happy about being considered obese. Next step, overweight category! :) 

To date I've lost a total of 128lbs and the weight loss has slowed down tremendously, but I'm still happy with the loss I've achieved so far. Ideally I'd like to weigh 180-190lbs and I think that coincides with the BMI goal Dr. Brader wants. He said he'll be able to give me a better idea of that when I go for my 1 yr post-op appointment. All my lab work was great......I got a gold star from my NUT. YEAH ME!!!  My A and B12 levels were low at the 6 month follow-up, as well as my HDL. All are within the acceptable range now.

Even though my weight loss has slowed, my body is still changing....my clothes fit differently and the sizes are still going down. I'm wearing L-XL misses tops (depending on the cut) and the bottoms are still in the plus sizes anywhere from 14-18 (again depending on the cut). I still gravitate towards the plus sizes whenever I'm out shopping and then when I try stuff on, I realize the 1x tops are just too big. My mind can't grasp the fact that I'm ALLOWED to shop in the misses department. The clothing selection is endless now and I LOVE it! That's a huge wow moment for me.

The next goal for me is to try out the roller coasters and see how I fit in the seat now. We're heading to Hershey park labor day weekend..........wish me luck!!! I'm so excited thinking about it too.

I definitely notice I'm getting more attention and at first it was a bit disheartening to me, but now I realize it's probably because I'm more confident about myself and I'm not just trying to blend into the scene. I'm soaking it up while I can. Even though I'm happily married, it's an ego boost when you're still able to catch the attention of other men.....shh, don't tell my husband! lol

I'm still loving my tool.............thanks Dr. Brader and team and everyone I've met along this journey! It's been a great ride and I'm excited about my new adventures to come.

I woke up this morning in a funky mood until I got on the scale. I couldn't believe my own eyes, so I got off the scale and hopped back on and I got the same results.............I've lost 100lbs since I started my journey. That's an amazing WOW moment.....I was so elated I started to cry. I have a long way to go until I reach my goal, but losing 100lbs is an excellent feat and one that has been challenging.........I'm LOVING MY TOOL.

Time for the truth to be told! Well as you can see from the title, I've been struggling with head hunger. I find myself wondering into the kitchen looking for something to munch on, knowing I'm not even hungry!! I'm finding it much more difficult now and I wish I could turn off the switch. When it first started, I was able to divert my focus to other things.......but it's not so easy anymore. I find myself testing my pouch knowing darn well that if I can't break that deadly cycle, it's going to hurt me in the long run. Things were been good up until I hit the 3 month post-op mark and now I keep asking myself, am I always going to be the fat, funny girl??? It's frustrating as hell!!!!! I know I'm losing weight because I'm getting compliments and my clothes are baggy, but I still can't wrap my head around that concept! I knew starting this journey that it wasn't going to be easy and I thought I was prepared, but I was wrong.

Another thing I noticed is how my "attitude" changes when my weight loss slows. I finally admitted to myself that my mood swings are directly related to the scale. I know, I know........I need to step away from the scale but I can't  help myself some days. I'm getting familiar with my weight loss pattern and know at certain times of the month I won't lose a pound. That's been my main excuse for continually stepping on the scale.....so I could become familiar with how my body is reacting.

One thing I'm working on is putting myself first and as a parent, I'm sure others can relate to how difficult that can be especially when you have young children. I was never one to put myself first and now I have to find a way to accomplish that goal. I don't have any other choice, I don't want to be a failure.
 

Today I made it through my first holiday party at work and it wasn't so bad. I was a little nervous about the food and the "unknown" when it came to ingredients, but I stuck to what I thought was safe. I probably ate a higher number of calories than I wanted, but I'm human. My bestest friend from work made a sf low calorie dessert so I could still have something sweet (cause you know the dessert table is always overflowing) and I love her for thinking of me! I had to estimate my protein intake and I'm thinking I probably guessed on the higher side. I'm still learning to "eyeball" quantities, but I'm proud of myself!! I have 4 more holidays party to make it through before the season is over, but I've got the determination to beat the temptations because I want my story to be one of success.

I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday. Ironically, I started on regular foods the day of Thanksgiving and everything went well. I had some turkey and tiny bit of plain baked sweet potato, green bean casserole, and even stuffing (I might have been pushing it there) but I figured it was better to have a taste then deprive myself. I choose not to have any desserts just because they were all high in sugar and I really had no desire for them.

I'm still eating to sustain myself, but I do go through periods where the head hunger is playing tricks on me. I found that if I do something to distract myself, I'm able to get through the urge to graze. So far I've been keeping up with my exercising as recommended by the exercise physiologist except I've been totally slacking this week but I plan on picking it back up again because I feel much better when I do.

I had a few trouble spots over the last couple of works, but I've learned from those experiences. Two were food incidences and the other was a Tylenol that got stuck........I won't go into details, but it wasn't pretty. lol

My weigh loss was stalled for 2 1/2 weeks, but has since picked up again. I'm happy with my weight loss progression and as of today I'm down 29lbs since surgery and 59lbs total. Not too bad. When I mentioned the stall to Dr. Brader this week we reviewed my diet and I discovered that I may have been eating too many mashed potatoes during the pureed stage. I kinda used them as safeguard because they were easy to eat. He recommended that if that happens again I need to review my food journal with my nut. She'll determine if I need to change up my food intake. If the food intake it ok, then I will need to intensify my exercising.....yippee skippy!!!  lol

As I've said before, each step along the way is a learning process. I can't believe it's been almost 7 wks since the surgery. I'm loving my tool more and more as each day passes! I have to agree with everyone who has already said this, but my only regret is not taking this step sooner. I'm grateful for the opportunity to improve my health and quality of life.

Well I started pureed foods on Thursday and things are going pretty good. I can definitely feel the difference in my pouch when I'm eating pureed protein. I'm supposed to have 3 pureed meals a day and then 2-3 full liquid meals in between to help me reach my fluid goals. These past couple of days have truly been a test because now when I have the pureed foods I need to remember no drinking 15 mins before and 1 hr after I'm done eating. It's not been hard, I just take note of the time I stop eating and as soon as that hour passes I start to sip, sip, sip.  

During the final few days of the full liquid phase I was really craving protein (like meat and cheeses) but now that I'm allowed certain foods, I found that "desire" diminished. I guess that is considered head hunger! So far I haven't discovered any issues with food. I've been able to tolerate mushy oatmeal, LF cottage cheese with pureed fruit, chicken, carrots, and potatoes (all pureed of course). Tomorrow I'm going to try some homemade chili made with a mixture of lean ground beef, ground turkey, and a mixture of beans. I've been cooking it in the crock pot all day and my house smells wonderful. I'll try that for lunch tomorrow. My choices are a bit limited for breakfast. I'm allowed to have scrambled eggs but I'm apprehensive because I've heard that sometimes the eggs get stuck in your pouch. My nut suggested I add some cheese to help weight it down and she also said to chew it very carefully.

I'm still meeting my fluid goals daily and almost everyday I get the 80 grams of protein required. The days that I don't fulfill that goal, I'm usually between 70-80 so I'm satisfied with that.

My next big goal is to concentrate on getting my exercise in. I was walking and staying active, but now it's time to work up a sweat and get the blood pumping. I've been given clearance by Dr. Brader to continue my normal activities and he wants me be down to 300 by my 6 wk check up. I think that's an obtainable goal.

I'm going back to work on Wed, I have to keep myself on schedule with eating/having protein every 2-3 hours. My health has to be my number 1 priority now. I can't even imagine what workload is waiting for me at the office. Thank goodness I had someone to help out in my absence.

My weight loss has slowed down considerably compared to the first 2 weeks. I think I hit that dreaded 3-4 week plateau, but I knew this would happen and have prepared myself as much as possible. I must keep on track so the weight loss will continue!!!! 

Let me start off by saying that Dr. Brader is the BEST!!!!!  He's definitely a skilled surgeon, I couldn't be more happy with the results of my surgery. 

I had to be at the hospital by 6am the morning of my surgery, as soon as I arrived they started prepping me. They took blood, in case I needed a transfusion during surgery, weighed me, gave me a pregnancy test (because I'm still of child rearing age), started the IV and by 7:20, Dr. Brader came in to see me and initial my stomach. My surgery was scheduled for 7:30 and he told me he probably would not see me again until 8am, which gave the OR staff time to prep me. Before I knew it, I was being wheeled to the OR. The moment they started to move me, I got very emotional.....started crying and told my husband I loved him. The nurse assured me that everything would be ok! 

While in the OR I moved myself to the operating table and I was told I'd be asleep within 5 mins. As soon as they put the oxygen mask over my mouth/nose I was probably out within a few mins. The next thing I remember, I was waking up in recovery. The nurse was moistening my mouth with water and ice. She was talking to me, telling me the surgery was done and everything went well. I remember grunting or mumbling something, but I couldn't tell you what I said. LOL I tried to clear my throat and realized the breathing tube was already out........yeah!!! I was worried about that because I have a terrible gag reflex. My husband said Dr. Brader came to visit him in the waiting room around 9:50am.

Fast forward, I was in my own room by 11am. I was still kinda groggy but could recognize my surroundings. My husband was already in the room, very happy to see me. I just remember my mouth being very dry and my throat a little scratchy. I was up and walking at 3pm on the dot. They aren't kidding when they tell you within 4 hrs of going to your room, you will be up and walking. My walks continued every 4 hours. I don't remember too much from that first day, but I know I slept alot. The morphine pump was my friend.

I had my swallow test at 7:30 the next morning and Dr. Brader gave the ok for clear liquids. I asked for water and ice chips as soon as I got back to my room. I was in heaven. Of course I sipped, sipped, sipped! As the day progressed, I was getting out of bed more often and taking walks every 2-3 hours, without too much assistance. If I can offer one piece of advice..........walk as much as you can. It helps move the gas around!!!!!

I'm 9 days post op and things are going well. I met my fluid goals the first day home and started meeting my protein goals on Tuesday (I missed my goal just slightly Sunday and Monday). It's a learning process, you have to figure out what works for you. Some days I get lightheaded but I talked to the nut on Tuesday and he said part of that is because my caloric intake has drastically reduced, but he wants me to follow up with my PCP because I take BP meds.

To this date, I have lost 17lbs since the morning of my surgery, a total of 47lbs since my journey started. Talk about a shock!!!! WOW  

I got home from the hospital on Thursday and as each day passes, I'm starting to feel like my old self. As soon as I'm feeling up to it, I will provide all the details about my surgery. I know some of my pre-op friends are very interested. :) I appreciate all the support and well wishes I've received up to this time from my OH friends. Take care! 

Well, I'm still on for surgery tomorrow. I got a call from LGH last night to verify some information so I took that to mean I was still having surgery. I called Dr. Brader's office this morning to verify and I was told I'd be getting a call later in the day regarding my arrival time at the hospital. It was a long weekend, but I made it through and now I can focus on what's to come. I just have to go home and back my overnight bag. I have all my post-op full liquid foods, protein drinks and supplements. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I suspect I won't get much sleep tonight, but I'm ok with that. I'll be too excited to sleep.

I just found out my surgery could be postponed because I had tonsillitis last week and I'm only finishing up the antibiotics today. I know it'll be in my best interest, but it's still a disappointment. Today's been a very emotional day for me (my nerves are getting the best of me) and then adding that on top of things just makes it worse. I can't stop crying..........what's up with that?????? 

The hospital called to get me pre-registered for surgery and I knew deep down the tonsillitis would be an issue. The anesthesiologist's nurse said they like to wait at least 2 weeks after the swelling subsided, which was only last Wed evening. So now my surgery date is in the hands of the anesthesiologist. It's a waiting game at this point. If they decide to proceed with the surgery Tuesday, I'll be evaluated that morning. 

Keep me in your thoughts everyone, it's going to be a rough couple of days.