Got the Ball Rolling!

Oct 27, 2010

So, yesterday, I followed up with my doctor, who at last visit told me to get the info and she'd send a referral off.  The nurse had said quite a bit that seemed unsupportive and judgemental, but the doctor herself hadn't said much.  Apparently she was saving it for when I came back, which was yesterday.

I am a reasonably intelligent person and also educated and I haven't felt this 'talked down to' in a long time.  I don't know how she got the impression that I'm blaming being overweight on other things - but she sure seems to.  She said many times things like "there's no quick fix", "this isn't the solution, you have to make life changes", and "surgery doesn't fix this".  I was mainly taken aback and too embarassed and shocked to respond, so I weakly tried to explain that I'm aware it's not easy, it's not a quick fix, and that you had to make major life changes in order for this to work.  The worst was when I asked about a sleep study and bloodwork.  The reasons for wanting these things done is because my BMI is 38.7, and I want to find out if there are any comorbidities, plus to get started on things that I know will need to be done, hopefully to keep things moving.  The doctor first talked about the bloodwork and said some things that I didn't really follow - it seemed like she was not sure why she was requisitioning it, and made a couple remarks about eating properly and being active.  Then, the sleep study.  She asked why I was requesting it, and I said that I wanted to find out if I have sleep apnea.  She asked why I suspected it, and I told her that my roommate was just diagnosed with a severe case and she told me some of the side effects, and it made me wonder if I might have it - I snore and am overweight.  The doctor again made some comments that I didn't really follow, and seemed reluctant.  She finally said "you can't blame it on other things, sleep apnea doesn't make you gain weight".  I was taken right aback and said I didn't think it did, and I'm not blaming my weight on other things, I'd said quite a few times that I'm not active enough (although my diet is quite healthy).  She said "you just said you want to know if you have sleep apnea".  I said I do want to know if I have sleep apnea, but I didn't say that that would be why I'm overweight?? 

It really felt like we were talking different languages, as I never thought of sleep apnea as a reason I'm big.  I finally just levelled with her and told her that I know exactly why I'm overweight.  I went through a period of about 10 years when I was clinically depressed, I didn't know for several years, and didn't have a drug plan for a while too, and then it took a long time before I was back to my functional self.  I came out almost 100 lbs bigger than I went in, and I just have not been able to get it off myself.  I told her that it was not an easy way out at all - I've seen the info my roommate's been given and am watching her go through all the presurg appts, Optifast, etc.  Your life is changed after.  I don't know if she really got that I get it...I just know that I don't think she does.  

I got a call after I left, the nurse was calling and said "you have to be smoke-free for 6 months before we can refer you".  Maybe it was me, but her tone seemed a bit happy, as though I was going to say oh no, I guess I don't get referred.  I told her I don't smoke.  She said not socially?  I said socially, but that's very rarely - just when I'm with a couple friends who smoke, who I rarely see.  She said well, you have to be six months smoke-free - are you?  I said I've had very occasional ones in the last 6 months, but I quit 5 or 6 years ago, I don't smoke.  She asked when I last smoked, and seemed defeated when I said over 6 months since I've had a cigarette.  I later found out that you must be smoke-free for 6 months before surgery.  

I already got a call for the sleep study for November 3, and got bloodwork done this morning.  I'm a bit concerned about whether I'll qualify - she used the last height/weight we took and that puts me at 38.7 BMI.  I'm pretty sure I've gained since then, and frankly I'm only 8 lbs under BMI 40.  I guess we'll see how things go.

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