hopeful_melissa

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Hello,

I had all of my pre op testing done today and I've lost a total of 71 pounds. My surgeon is very happy with the weight loss prior to surgery and is excited about how I will do afterwards.  Tuesday is the big day.

My excitement over my surgery and the start of a new healthier life is being a little side lined. I lost my mother yesterday. She's been sick for a very long time with Lupus, Kidney failure, Seojrens, Raynhod's, and odd and a-sorted other things that go with Lupus. Taking care of her was such a big part of my life. I thought I was ready for her to move on and now I just want her back to tell me she loves me. My mother was 63. I feel very lost.

Well, here I am at day 2 of the liquid diet. Today seems to be harder then yesterday. I woke up soooooo hungry!!! But I was also in bed before 10:00 last night. I was cold, tired and hungry so I figured it was a good spot to be in!! 

Last night I used my Magic Bullet and blended my protein shake with ice cubes and made like a milk shake out of it. It was yummy! I also could eat it with a spoon and get some chewing action in, so it was pretty good!

Today I started off the day with a hot chocolate protein supplement - the supplements are about 80 calories per serving, so I can have 2 of those as opposed to 1 protein shake.  And now I'm chewing gum to help some and drinking water. They say it gets easier after the third day, so here's hoping!!  But I can do it!! grrrrrrrrr.....I'm tougher (or something like that).

As we come into 2009, for the first time in my entire life losing weight and getting healthy for the new year is a reality for me. I've said it a hundred times (okay maybe more like 25 times) in my life and this year it's really going to happen!!

I feel so ready for this and also scared of the changes and how I will deal with each one as it comes up. And I suppose maybe that's the key is to try to deal with things one at a time and not let myself get overwhelmed with ALLLLL of the changes at once. One day at a time until I learn to live in my new body.

Speaking of out with old, I'm saying goodbye to things that are bad for me and could make me sick after surgery - I just want to keep it in my head that they will make me sick so I won't miss them - Dairy Queen, McDonalds, Burger King, Pizza and anything else that is really high in grease, fat and calories. This does include regular chocolate, but I have found a protein supplement that is amaretto hot chocolate and slim fast chocolate shakes to help me through this!

One resolution I am making though is that I want to take up a martial art this year in my goal to a new, healthier me. I've always wanted to do it, and I will be able to now!! I have already been walking and going to water aerobics, which I will continue. I also know that I need to start some kind of toning/weight training. Not sure of the order of things yet in my workout program, but I will get them all worked in as I heal from surgery.

This is an exciting point in my life and I'm so exhilarated at the thought of it!!!  20 days!!!!

I a call today about my pre-op testing and it's set for Jan. 15th. Not sure what all testing is going to be done, but he told me it would take about 4 hours to do. I hope I don't have to do another endoscopy - that was "icky". I do know that one of the tests will be a liver function test for a study they are doing.

I had to go to the doctor on Saturday and when I stepped on the scale (much to my surprise) I'm another 9 pounds down (however, I'm celebrating yet. I was sick for a few days prior to that so a lot of it could be water weight). But the scale wasn't up!!!  And if that number was correct, I'm down a total of 56 pounds.

22 Days and counting!!!!  I start my liquid diet next week, and I think I 'm more worried about that then the surgery!! I guess I'm scared of being that hungry for that long!!! LOL Hopefully it won't be as bad as I'm afraid of though.

A friend got me a shirt for Christmas in an extra large as a goal. She said to hang it up so I could see it!  Wow - normal size clothes!!!

Today I'm having a chocolate craving like you wouldn't believe!!!  I started my period today (thanks to BC pills) and I'm all grumpy and crampy...and eewww!  I'm only used to having cycles about every other month and this is the third month in a row. The longest I've gone between cycles is just over 3 years.

I added some pics of me (which I don't know if I mentioned in my last blog or not - some days my brain just checks out on me). I took today and tomorrow off to sort of get my ducks in a row, recharge and burn some PTO days before the end of the year. I can only have so many that will roll over to next year.

I worked on getting my wireless network up today, and I got the network up but am not very successful in getting my work computer to connect to it and create the VPN connection. Grrrrrrr....most irritating. I'll have to work on it again tomorrow after I get my home work done.

I had volunteered a couple of months ago to work a booth at the international motorcycle show for Women On Wheels but it takes place 11 days after surgery. I'm not sure I'll be up to doing that, so I backed out. I am excited about getting on my bike next season though! Maybe my stomach won't rest on my gas tank!!! Wouldn't that be something??

Once I reach my goal, I want to buy a set of pink chaps and matching pink leather jacket! Right now, I'd have to have chaps specially made to fit me. Most motorcycle clothes don't fit me! The ladies motorclothes run really small! This last season, a car load of teenagers actually moo'd at me when I was riding. I just wanted to disappear!!! Ever noticed how it seems like the bigger you are, the more invisible you want to be?

Here it is 11:50pm and I'm starving. Looks like I'll be going to bed hungry tonight which isn't unusual. But each day closer to surgery that I get, the more excited I get. I keep looking at the before and after pics on here and decided to add a few pics of me. I don't know if counting the days is a good thing, they seem to be dragging!! LOL
Wellll, it could be bedtime. G'nite!

Hmmm...it dawned on me today that I miscounted the days until my sugery. I missed a week so instead of 32 days, it's 39 days. I guess I was so excited by being called with the approval and sugery date that I couldn't think! 

I don't really have any earth shattering thoughts today, I just wanted to get this started.