irol770
July 16, 2010
Jul 16, 2010
Tomorrow it will be 4 months since my surgery. I have lost a total of 68ish pounds. I say "ish" because I have been up and down constantly and it is getting a bit frustrating. I was hoping to be losing more than 8 - 10 lbs per month at this point, but it looks like that is all I'm going to do. And when I look back several weeks I can see that I've lost weight. But when I look back only one week I see that I've gone done a couple of pounds and then back up so I'm basically back to where I was 7 days ago. UGH.I am now weighing myself on 2 scales! LOL I weigh myself at home every morning. It is an analog scale and is a little harder to read the little lines in between the numbers so it is always a rounded weight to the closest line on the scale. At work we have a digital scale that weighs to one decimal place. It is about 2 lbs heavier than my scale at home, so now I am keeping 2 records...my home weight and my work weight! How pathetic is that!?
Anyway, I only started weighing myself at work June 23...so about 3 weeks ago. I started at 201.6 lbs. Today I am 194.2. So that is a loss of 7.4 lbs and should make me happy. But I'm not because on July 9 I was 194.4, stayed there a bit, went up slightly, went back down, then down a little more, then back up and now I'm back to where I started 7 days ago!
June 23 – 201.6
June 25 – 200.8
June 28 – 199.2
June 30 – 198.6
July 2 – 199.2 (started period)
July 5 – 198.0
July 6 – 196.8
July 8 – 195.4
July 9 – 194.4
July 12 – 194.4
July 13 – 195.6
July 14 – 194.6
July 15 – 193.8
July 16 – 194.2
I did start going to the gym this week however. I've only gone twice. My short term goal is to go 3 times per week and then continue walking in the evenings on the other days. I will slowly work up to 5 times per week at the gym. This week I didn't get out for a walk though (did on Sat and Sun but not since) so the gym has sort of just taken the place of my walks and didn't actually add on to what I was already doing. Although I do work harder at the gym than I do on the walks.
I've only done cardio so far (elliptical and treadmill) because I am still a little too intimidated to try the weight machines. At the last gym I belonged to there was a women's only section completely closed off to the rest of the gym and so I wasn't self conscious at all. In this gym everything is open and the weight machines surround all of the cardio machines and there are so many young, healthy and in shape guys there, who focus a lot on weight training. And I'm a little too self conscious still around all of that! Also because I haven't really done an orientation yet, I haven't yet identified where all the various machines are and I don't want to look like an idiot walking from machine to machine to see what it does, etc while people are using them. So for right now I will use the cardio equipment. I will work up to using the weight training equipment though. Actually on the 21st I have signed up for an orientation to the weight machines, which I think will be very helpful.
Anyway, that is my update for now. My original goal for myself was to be under 200 before my birthday, which I did. Yay! But once I did that I decided that maybe I really wanted to be under 190 for my birthday (which is in 2 weeks) and I'm not sure if that is going to happen now. I get so close and then rebound again. I really would like to lose a good 7 lbs (5 to get under 190 and 2 for wiggle room) in the next 2 weeks. But considering it has taken me 3 weeks to lose the last 7 lbs, it isn't looking that good right now.
Looking forward (and realizing I'm only 4 months post-op) I wonder where I will be come Sept / Oct and where I will be when Christmas rolls around. Considering there are 5 months until Christmas and averaging 8 lbs a month, I could essentially lose another 40 lbs before then. And while that excites me, it also depresses me a little. Maybe I am just selfish and unrealistic. But to think I've already lost over 60 lbs, and that I could lose another 40 before Christmas and then STILL be overweight and have another 30ish lbs to lose just drives me crazy!
But on the positive side, I feel really good now. I think I am eating okay. I have started to track stuff...even bad stuff if I happen to have something I shouldn't, and that helps to keep me accountable. According to the numbers (calories, fat, protein) I think I am doing pretty good. I still weigh my meats, and usually measure other foods. Only if I eat at a restaurant do I guesstimate, and then I still only eat enough so that I am sufficiently satisfied. Although I almost always walk away from the restaurant berating myself because I must have eaten too much!
Since the weight seems to be coming off so slowly now, I am always "certain" that I am doing something wrong to ruin this opportunity that I've been given. And I guess my only choice is to just keep following the rules, and keep chugging along and keep positive that one day I will realize my goal.
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About Me
Thunder Bay, ON
Location
25.8
BMI
Surgery
03/17/2010
Surgery Date
Jul 13, 2009
Member Since
