jadestiney
My story is not too different from most. I have been bigger than all of my friends for a good part of my life. I sometimes feel like, I look like their mother when we are out together. I haven't always felt that way though. When I was in high school l was very athletic. I played sports all year around so even though I was bigger than my friends I held it well. I am 5'10 and back then I weighed 205 lbs as a senior. No one would have guessed how much I weighed and when they did, they were always guessing less than what I actually weighed. So, I was able to pull it off. I was never considered fat because of my tall frame, and I was solid not flabby. I had no problems health or otherwise at that weight, but I was really active back then. A few years after high school I had my first child (Nautica). During that pregnancy I only gained about ten pounds. No one could tell I was even pregnant. So, I thought wow, this isn't too bad. My next pregnancy (Sommer) was totally opposite. I gained weight just smelling food. I was so big I literally could not see my feet. I couldn't wear shoes expect for bedroom slippers, which was a bad thing. My grandmother died a few weeks before I delivered and I had to wear bedroom shoes and a big, big dress. My nose spread across my face and I was totally misserable. Did I mention that with my first pregnancy there were no stretch marks, well that was all over with the second one. My two daughters are 19 months apart. I have never been married but I was in a very serious relationship at the time. I felt as though I was married for the 9 years we were together. I did everything a wife and mother would do and was just as committed as being married. So along with that came the being at home with the kids, cooking and all the things to maintain a good house and family. Somewhere in there I lost me. I let myself go trying to care for my family. I would cook everyday and over the years of not exercising and not eating healthy and finishing off the kids plates (growing up I was never allowed to waste food) I ballooned up the weight chart. I have tried other diets over and over none working long term. I am now 35 yrs old and I am ready to be healthy and ready for some relief from this weight problem I have. I don't have a lot of the medical conditions that go along with being over weight (thank God) but I do suffer from getting out of breath, knee pain, foot pain from standing too long and back pain, no diabetes or hypertension. I do know that its probably only a matter of time before those things catch up with me, if I don't do something about it soon. I have researched gastric by pass and weight loss surgeries for over ten years and recently (with in the last two yrs) gotten serious about it. I know this is something that I want to do for me and I am ready for what comes after the surgery. I weigh 298 lbs, right now. I will soon be at the 300 mark and that is very scary to me. I work full time and I am a full time student as well, and I work a part time job too. I am so tired most days, but I have to carry on. I believe the surgery and weight loss will give me more energy. I know I have to do my part and I am ready. My kids don't really understand all of this. They are 13 yrs. and 11yrs. old. All they see is a mommy who can do anything. I can play with them even run with them (but not for long periods of time) so they think I am great. I know how hard it is to physically keep up with them. I want to enjoy those things with them and more. So, I have made it this far. I have a surgery date of Dec. 12th and I am anxious. I was nervous but the nerves are starting to calm. They may come back right at the time of surgery, but through faith I will be okay. My doctor is Dr. Kristen Hardcastle of Central Carolina Surgery. They are located in Greensboro NC. I am glad that there is a center close to me and that I have family in Greensboro who will help me after the procedure. My family is supportive of my decsion and so are my friends. I have a great group of people around me, who want the best for me and I am ready to live a better life.
