JeanOud
Spring is here!
Apr 18, 2009
Hello All,Since my mom's passing just a mere 14 days ago,I have gone thru an unbelievable amount of emotions..Saddness,
depressed,lonely,..etc...but thru it all I know she is in a better place.
She no longer has to fight the cancer is gone,her heart is free and she is in peace.
Which brings me to say this,Im actually moving on altho slowly,I haven't had the "big breakdown"everyone is insisting I need to have.I've had here and there moments,(1) being when they told me my last weightloss..I think that was because when my husband and I would find out what my loss was,I would rush home and tell my mom.She was so proud of me for being brave enough to go and have this surgery done.
Since yesterday I've had a feeling of well being,I baked indian fry bread for my dad,I made supper, someting I haven't done in a long time(thanks to my hubby for being the cook,all this time).
Today,I got my dad and son out to the new garden and did something I've never done or had the energy to do,(altho dad is 79 and had to watch)my son and I dug up the new garden and planted carrots,lettuce,cantalopes,tomatoes and cucumbers,I also planted flowers for my mom,when she passed all my friends brought her favorite flowers for me to replant.
We cleaned the yard, and it truly feels like spring.The cows are having their calves in the field next to the house,the bee's are out,and the tractor's can be heard in the distance getting ready to plant.
I've never had this much energy to do all of this,it's like being given a second chance.
I miss my mom so much, but I know she would want me to move on, get out and enjoy my new body and my new sense of freedom.I know she is looking down and smiling because I refuse to let dad sit in the house and cry and worry about loosing her and the bills.
I have so many adventure's planned for us all this summer,I just can't wait for school to be over,so we can get out and enjoy our farm and do a bit of traveling.
I truly am happy today!!
Jean
