13 months

Jul 08, 2009

  Okay so it has been 13 months now since I had RNY.  Things are going pretty good.  From December to March I hit the biggest stall!!!  I honestly thought that I had failed.  But I kept doing what I was already doing....minus the evening snacking that I picked-up and I am now down about 15 lbs.  I had my gall bladder removed the beginning of June.  I didn't have stones.....my gall bladder was only working at 5% and that was causing a lot of problems.  But now I am feeling pretty good!!!  Blood sugar still dips into the 30's if I am not REALLY careful at what I am putting in my mouth.  I don't really dump but my blood sugar will bottom out.  So I really weigh my odds before putting something in my mouth I shouldn't. 
I am also considering making an appointment with the head doctor because I think I really need to concentrate on "Why" I feel the need to fill a void with food.  I struggle with emotional eating or convincing myself to push the plate away when I know that I am full.  The food just tastes good and I want to keep enjoying that taste.  I have been doing alright at catching myself but I want to know why I can't just be full and that is enough satisfaction.  Oh well it still makes me feel better to get it on paper.....I guess maybe like going to AA.....
I am still getting use to people seeing me as a thin person.  I still don't think the word thin and my name should go in the same sentence.  I still have body image issues and I think that will be forever and I need to come to terms with that.
Oh I am scheduled to have my breasts reduced.  How many people do you know that can lose 98 lbs and still have a DD chest???  But it works in my favor because there is enough boob mass to give me new boobies and my insurance will pay 100%......YAH....go me!!!  They denied my tummy so it looks like I will be starting a piggy bank for my plastic surgery dreams.  About $6000 for my tummy and another $6000 for my thighs.  You think they will throw my arms in for free???  Oh well....enough rambling. 
All in all I am  very happy with my decision to have surgery.  I can't imagine my life without it.  I am still working on loving me......but doesn't everyone???? 

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