Hmpf!!!

Apr 24, 2009

Well it's been a while since I've written.  I've almost forgotten about my OH family, but I need to keep in touch with you all since the only person who knows what being banded is about is someone who's been banded.  I titled this entry to reflect my frustration with myself.  I haven't worked out in quite some time -- over 2 months.  My work schedule has exploded and I only have energy to wake up, work a million hours, and then crash at night.  The interesting thing is, I haven't gained pounds, but my clothes are a little snug.  Kind of like I should have 5 pounds more reading on the scale.  Have my fat cells expanded?  Must be b/c I've been eating more than I should, and definitely not the right stuff.  I feel a little discomfort when I overeat, so I know I have restriction, but now it seems I need mental restriction more than anything.  I know that I can consume larger amounts than this same time last year, and I'm worried that I have either stretched my pouch or that I've lost some of my fill.   I guess I need to go back to the doctor (I've been irresponsible there too).  I am considering changing to the surgeon that my mother is going to meet with on the 30th.  I would love it if he could take over my maintenance (not thrilled with my surgeon's office to be honest).  We'll see.  Whatever the kickstart into motivating myself, I just wish it would come soon!  I need to get rid of these last 30 or 40 pounds to be at goal.  I'm confident I'll get there.  I've never had "only" 30 or 40 pounds to lose in my whole life, so I figure, if I could do 75, I can do another few.

Oh well, I guess I can't really complain too much, just need to keep hope alive! 

Until next time America.

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