Kelly A.

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Good Morning!!  Very good, actually!  I woke up this morning hoping to have lost 80 total lbs, as today is my 8 week surgiversary...and was suprised and excited to see the scale move to where I have lost 82.8 lbs (half before surgery and half after).  I am just over 17 lbs. from meeting my ORIGINAL goal of losing 100 lbs...and obviously having seen and now believed the HOPE and Possibilities after RNY...I have a new goal of losing 200 lbs!  That would bring me to a weight I haven't seen since about 7th grade!  I could not be happier than I am today.  I am exercising 4 X weekly.  I swim, use weight machines, resistance bands, walk and use a recumbant bike.  I go to the Y and do the Healthy Start program twice a week, and the other two days I either swim or do my own thing on bike and in the weight room.

I am looking forward to trying some exercise classes in the future, maybe even dance.  I just auditioned and landed a small role in a musical (community theater).  This is the first time I have been in a play since High School (24 years ago!)  BIG SMILES TODAY!!!  As of today I begin the last stage of the eating plan.  I truly hope I handle it well and don't mess up my weight loss.  Here I go....

Well, Friday was my one month "surgiversary" and I am happy with my progress.  I am down 67.6 lbs (26.6 in the past month) and am loving how I look in my clothes.  Today I tried on a pair of jeans that I never thought would fit.  I couldn't even button them a month ago.  I wore them today and they look nice!!  Still a bit snug if I am sitting but they look so good standing that I wore them anyway!!   

I am working w/a trainer twice a week now, at the Y in a class that is special for people who have had WLS.  I love it!!  It really gives me a great work out, but it is causing more knee pain than ever.  I ice it and do hot packs daily, especially on work out days.  I am also having more pain in my feet than usual, I am sure it is all do to working muscles that haven't been worked in a long time.   

I am still suffering from the back pain that started right after surgery.  I haven't done much about it, need to call the chiroprator, but just  never seem to think of it when he is open.  I am just so accustomed to living and functioning in alot of pain that my tolerance is high.  I am happy imagining that someday soon this pain will be a thing of the past. 

My brother is getting married in November and it just hit me yesterday that I will look amazing by then!!! 

I am a little tired of this food stage, but in a way am glad I am still on it as eating "real" food scares me, I am so afraid of "screwing up" and not losing weight.  It is so difficult for me to believe in my future success story, or even to hope for those results.  It seems impossible, yet it is very likely!!  I just can't wrap my head around it.

Well, here's to month one. 

 I am so very happy to say I am under 300 :)  I was 354 when I started this journey...and 313 when they wheeled me into surgery last Tuesday!  Today is my one week anniversary so I guess it's a great day to get past that barrier of 300! 

I am suffering major back pain.  I think walking could help but the weather is not cooperating.   Some people have told me they think it's gas, and honestly it hurts less when I walk around.  So, I just did some housework, and plan to do the Wii Fit later.  I just finished my breakfast, 6 oz of Greek Yogurt.  Oh, and I did my BMI calculation and see I have gone from SUPER Obese to Extremely Obese...haha, don't know which sounds worse!!  But I can laugh today knowing that six months from now I will be in a wonderful place :)

My biggest challenge (other than the weather making me lazy) is getting in the fluids and protiens.  I am doing fine w/supplements.  I just cant get in so much food!  And I don't want to stretch my pouch, so don't know how it is possible to get it all in.  Hmmm...

Well, tomorrow is my birthday, I really hope I don't spend it sitting alone infront of my computer!  It is also my 1 week post op visit at the surgeon's office, my brother is driving me so hope he remembers it's my bday!!  I can't eat but he can bring gifts...LOL :)

Speaking of driving...I drove today for the first time!  It kinda felt achy and strange.  I was duped, my daughter (15) missed her bus, so it was let her stay home or drive her.  I chose to get her butt to school!! haha!  I am hopeful that tomorrow I will get the OK to drive again. 

So it happened, and I am so sore.  I am barely eating or even drinking and feel like I have been in a knife fight.  OUCH.  But I wanted to mention that I lost more weight pre-op and on the day of surgery was down to 313.  I know I am going to lose so much more, but can't really enjoy knowing it because I am so sore.  Even my back hurts.  Cant be online much due to discomfort in computer chair.  Maybe someone will buy me a laptop for my bday next week?? 

I have Finally gotten a date for surgery!!  Yesterday was my final surgeon appt. and I got weighed.  I was at 319 which means I have lost 35 lbs ON MY OWN !!!  I find this so exciting, as I definately was "dieting".  I was using smaller portions and getting in lots of Protien in the form of EAS Advantage shakes, and Atkins Advantage shakes (two a day replacing breakfast and an afternoon snack). 

I am very, very nervous about the surgery.  I have spoken to some friends who have great bypass success stories, and others who are not overweight but who are so supportive.  I have other friends (and family!) who really don't want me to do this.  I definately want to do it, I am excited!  But I am also so afraid of the unknown.  Hope to get better about blogging more often :)

I am very pleased with myself!  I haven't seen my doc for a month, waiting to hear back re: sleep study, and waiting to pay off my pshych for the group workshop.  And then hopefully I will get a date!  The appointment today was so frustrating.  I thought for sure they would have my sleep study results.  Turns out they somehow "forgot" I had an appt w/Dr. Streeter and actually accused me of being an hour late for the Nurse Education which apparently was going on upstairs.  When I informed them that I had completed that almost a month ago and whatnot, they just had me sit with a woman I had never seen before in an office.  She went thru my file and tried to see what the hold up was.  She made some calls.  I am hoping she will help move my file to the top of the pile!!!  So, for some good news (and the reason I am happy after such a frustrating appt) I am down another 5.5 lbs!!!  That is since 12/30 so in 25 days, 5.5 lbs.  Slower rate, but I have been less "pumped" latetly as the process has been stagnant...so 5.5 got me really excited!  So my grandtotal since just before Thanksgiving (or in 55 days!) is 25.5 (umm...is that a pound every other day?? !!)

Wow!  It has been awhile since I have blogged!  I haven't been using OH much, mostly due to being extremely busy w/Christmas.  But I have been pretty much sticking to my plan.  Not perfectly, but that is OK...I don't need to be perfect to be proud of myself!  I was weighed on Tuesday and found that I had lost 2 lbs over the holiday, and bringing me to my goal of 20 lbs!  Now I have set another goal to lose another 20 lbs.  I may not lose it before surgery, I guess it will depend on what date they give me.  I had the first night of Sleep Study last night.  It wasnt bad, but I woke up very achy in my neck and shoulder, due to the positioning.  Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and I plan to have possibly my last alcohol for a year!  This never would have been a big deal, but lately I have enjoyed some social life, mostly at a karaoke bar.  I do know I can still go and drink H20 and still feel the love of my dear friends.  I am excited about what this new year will bring!!!

I am still dealing with a financial situation, and it isn't getting better.  The stress this weekend has been immense.  I also have hit a roadblock with the surgery.  I had my clearance appt. w/the pulmonologist, and it went horrible!  First I arrived 15 minutes early for my appt.  They put me in the little exam room and no one came back for an hour and a half!  I was so mad!!!  So when doc finally did come in, he literally sat on his sink counter and was so unproffessional.  I was biting my tongue as I knew he holds the key to my surgery date being made.  So then after a very pointed and leading conversation he gets it in his head that I may have sleep apnea!  NO I DON'T!!!  I am overworked, stressed by life, and busy as hell w/3 kids and 2 jobs.  If I am tired, that is why!  And I feel like the only interuptions to my sleep at all are due to PAIN caused by obesity!  Knees, back, hip!  All things that will go away with surgery, as would sleep apnea if by some odd chance the dude is right!  I am so freaked out because now I have to wait for a sleep study, then for results.  All delaying my surgery date!!  I am scared that I won't be able to stay on track w/nutrition with all this stress and waiting!

I have been doing ok, not exceptional in my eating.  I do good with planned meals and being alone, but have had a couple of situations come up recently that have caused me to eat more than I should.  I also have not been tracking which is a clear sign that I am feeling down about this pulmonologist thing

Things aren't much better today.  I am still doing fine on the eating.  All I have had today is my protien shake.  I need to get some water going now.  I went to my group workshop yesterday (which was great!) and then weighed in at the docs office (ok, I guess...lost 4 lbs this week).  But the group leader brought up the money I owe and mentioned that they can't set my date til I pay $400, so as I have exactly $10 to my name today, I guess my surgery won't be as soon as I had hoped.  This makes me so sad becuase I have such great momentum going right now, and I don't want a setback.  I am determined NOT to borrow money or ask for help.  I need to prove to myself that I can stand on my own, and if that means going without this week, then I will do just that.  My kids may be sad but they won't be sad for long, I do have a big suprise for Christmas (which Thank God is paid for already!)

I am writing in red today to match my mood ...I am so stressed.  I should start by saying I am feeling good about my food/dieting.  I did eat a bit off-plan yesterday with all of mom's leftover party food.  But nothing horrible.  I still feel lighter and tighter and am excited to get on the scale tomorrow.  I am doing fabulous today.  I have only had 330 cals and have gotten in over 40 gr protein!  (breakfast and lunch complete, plus 16 oz H20). 
So, then, why the stress?  Because it is 12 days til Christmas, I have almost no shopping done, a mountain of bills and only $65 in the bank that has to last til Friday.  (food, gas, everything must come from that!) So then the check that I get Friday is the last one before Christmas.  I need to do so much with it!  In the meantime, I owe my mom $100 that I promised to pay back before Christmas :/.  I also owe my daughter's childcare about $150 and still have to come up w/$400 to pay off the Group Workshop Fee (for this surgery).  The $100 I owe mom is the deposit I made on the workshop.  That is why I am flipping out.  I have 3 wonderful daughters, and they deserve an amazing Christmas!  I am wracking my brain trying to think of ways to earn money...wish I had something valuable to sell.  Uggg...hope I can keep from stress-eating!!!!