Kelly A.

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I am trying a Chobani Greek Yogurt for the first time right now!  I bought it and it sat in my fridge for a week, as I was scared to try it.  I made myself today.  I made myself taste the plain, fat free flavor.  I guess it wasn't awful?  I could imagine adding some Tastefully Simple Onion Onion to this for a party dip.  So then after tasting a few bites, I added some sugar free zero calorie vanilla syrup to it, to try that.  I can honestly say I am now enjoying this lunch.  17 grams of protein packed into 100 fat free calories, guess that makes it yummy!!  I can imagine it would be a great fruit dip! 

I am so happy that I have started and kept up these positive changes.  I can hardly wait til Tuesday when I attend my 3rd workshop and go weigh myself.  I lost 10 lbs. in the first week of trying, and am excited to see what this week has brought! 

Last night was a challenge.  I went to my mom's holiday party.  She served pasta w/meatballs and sausage.  She also had more food that one can imagine in such a tiny setting.  I feel like I enjoyed myself without over indulging.  I could have done worse, and also could have done better.  I had one glass of white zinfandel.  I had a few jumbo shrimp dipped in cocktail sauce.  I had a small handfull of a sweeter version of Chex Party Mix.  I had a 3 tortilla chips dipped in 9 layer dip (they were reasonably small dips!).  I had 3 wheat thins spread w/fat free cream cheese and jalepeño pepper jelly.  For dinner I had the smallest portion of pasta I have ever served myself (about 1/2-3/4 cup) and one meat ball and one sausage.  The other half of my plate was salad.  I had a sliver of pound cake and a sliver of ricotta cake and a sliver of ricotta pie.  Then later a very small cookie and a small brownie (made w/splenda).  I know this looks like alot.  But I also know that if I was not in such a good frame of mind, I would have eaten 3-4 times that amount at this party.  I also know that I went into the party at under 500 calories for the day.  I am not ashamed, and realize that I will not be able to eat that way post surgery.  That is partly why I did induldge.  I may never truly enjoy some of those foods again after I have this surgery. 

I was given this website by the Psychologist who runs my Group Workshop.  I attended the first workshop yesterday and felt it really motiviated me to start getting serious about the changes I need to start making NOW to be the best patient Post Op that I can be.  I have alot of fears, and for me personally I deal with that by going online and trying to educate myself thru websites and learning about the journeys of others.  My biggest fears are the skin, hair loss, and my general fear of failing.  I cant help but think that if I make all the changes I have to make then I probably would lose the weight without surgery.  But as always I would make those changes and then fall back to my old ways and gain back and feel horrible.  I hope the surgery will be the tool that keeps me going and successful. 

I am also hopeful that the change will be good for my whole family.  I worry about them, their emotions and feelings.  I worry that we wont be the same family we have been (in some ways that would be great!).  I am also scared of pain, surgery, and recovery.  I am scared of regrets.  I am scared of how people will treat me or view me differently.  I hope to still be "me".  I guess that sums it up, I am scared, yet hopeful.  I had my pre-op testing done and am waiting for the surgery date to be announced.  I am going thru Tobey Hosp. in Wareham, MA.  Dr. Streeter is my surgeon.