Kimanne01

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So its been 2 weeks and a day.  The first week or so was alot rougher than I expected.  The pain from the gas was horrific and it felt like nothing helped.  And my emotions have been all over the place.  The first week I totally regretted my decision.  Since then I have had moments of regret, but for not real reason.  I think it would have been easier not to get the surgery done.  But then again I have spent most of my life doing what it easy...which is part of the reason I am the size that I am.  I know this was the right decision and I look forward to the day when I can say that with proof and confidence.  I know I have to be patient and I am trying.

The positive is that I am down 20 pounds..which is shocking because I convinced myself that I would be the one person who did not lose weight after the surgery.  So that is a relief. And I have graduated to soft foods, which is going well.  Being a slave to my stomach is something I will have to get used to and I know eventually it will become second nature. But I do look forward to being able to eat more than cheese, eggs and yogurt. 

I am excited to see how the next few months unfold.  I know there will be a lot of changes both physically and emotionally...stay tuned!

So tomorrow is my surgery and I am feeling such an overwhelming mix of emotions.  I am scared as anything about the actual surgery.  Everything keeps going through my mind...silly things like: What if I wake up during surgery?!?!?!  I am also scared of the unexpected.  It seems as though everyone has a VERY different experience fked to many people about the surthough I have talked to many people about the surgery, there is still that element of the unknown and that is so scary.  I am hoping and praying for a complication free procedure and recovery period.  And then there is the emotional/psychological impact this will have on my life.  I have tried to prepare for it as much as possible. but I also know that there is just so much you can prepare for a life changing experience.  I know I am making the right decision. I am excited about the changing that will occur. I am excited about being healthy and being able to live a healthy and active lifestyle.  but I am also so scared because I have never been thin and have no idea how to live life as a thin person.  But I know I just have to take one day at a time.  So for now I will focus on tomorrow. And I will go from there.

Heres to a safe surgery and healthy living!