I am an emotional MESS!...

Nov 23, 2010

I am not having a good morning. Not one bit. I have been up for less than 2 hrs and I want to go back to bed. My brother in law is still missing. My baby is sick. I have thrush..fun fun fun. I need to meet with the surgeons tomorrow and need to get groceries for my family too. Not sure how I am going to get all of this done. My sis in law is normally the one who watches my kids, but she has 3 of her own and is pregnant with #4. I can't take my sick baby over there now. She is meant to be watching her when I am in the hospital next week.

Still have only lost 7lbs..still doing the shakes and veggies. The proper way..but it's the PMS week. That's what  is getting to me. I can't manage the smallest thing right now. My awesome husband is going to have to work shorter days, right before Christmas..he will have to manage the 4 kids on his own, and the baby is still breastfeeding! At least he can cook, but he isn't used to this level of work on top of his job. I am feeling very selfish and have fleeting thoughts of calling this whole thing off. I know I wont. That's not what I want of course. But I really want to eat a friggen pizza right now!

I'm terrified that I will have a fatty liver and that I wont get my surgery! My mom has a fatty liver, but I think hers is from having had Hepatitis B when she was a young woman traveling in Mexico. I can't give blood because I have antibodies I got from her while in utero.....ahh I digress.

Apparently I have typed diarrhea today, so bear with me. I am meant to be going to a moms and tots group today, but since the bubs is sick, I'm staying home. I really want this surgery, so I can have a better quality of life. I want to get through this part..and I know about getting through stuff. I have eternally nauseous while pregnant..like for MONTHS!! I still did it 3 times..LOL and I will do it again one day I hope. That was tough or the whole family, but the outcome is worth it. I think getting my sleeve with be worth it too. Aren't I worth it?..

I think I need to go crack open my bible and read something...anything! I need some soul food, which I would have gotten today if I would go to the moms n tots. Ugh..I know God plans all things for me. He has the perfect plan..I just need to get with the program!

5 more sleeps til surgery!!!

Soooo going to take a nap today!

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