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Yeah baby you read that right! I have reached my goal. I have lost 133lbs since my highest weight..HOLY CRAP! That's a whole person. No wonder I feel so light an amazing..lol

This has been an amazing trip and I'm not done yet. In fact I question if I will ever be done? I know once the weight loss is stabilized, other "projects" will come up. I have started working out, cardio for now. Will start weight training once the kids go back to school. That's when I get my life back..lol I am looking forward to riding my bike with the kids, going for walks with the dog..I don't freak out when there is no parking close to a store..I just walk. WHOOOHOO!

I still have a very hard time eating out with friends though. Everyone wolfs down their food and I find myself kinda doing the same thing. OW! Then I feel sick and can't enjoy my night out. I keep trying to order my own meal. That doesn't work cuz everyone notices when I don't finish my meal..I still haven't told everyone about my surgery so that makes it a bit tougher. I think for the next lil bit I will only go out with people who know, or I will not order anything but a drink and swipe bites off of my friends. Try to figure out if I can eat out..LOL I took home more food than I ate last weekend!

My parents still have not seen me since Christmas..omg they are gonna freak out! LMAO! My kids tell me I am skinny all the time and people keep asking my husband what he thinks of his skinny wife. Bless his heart, he says don't matter what she weighs, I love her just the same..AND HE DOES!!! I am soooo freaking lucky. I know it's weird for him, but he is an awesome guy and he makes me feel special.

So really all in all I have my life back, now I have to keep it!!! I know I am worth it, took me a while to get that. I know I will have bumps and valleys along the way, but such is life and I am going to live it and be thankful that I get to! My dreams are coming true and I owe it all to GOD! He is my light, my savior, my eternal supporter!! Thank you God, for all that you provide for me!!

Ok now I am off to convert some thrift store jeans into skirts and shorts..LOL Gotta love 25 cent jeans!! That leaves me with $$'s to buy really proper fitting, smashing jeans!!

Ok yeah I have made it! I am in the 100's!!! For real you could knock me over with a feather! I haven't weighed this umm...since high school! WHOOHOO! I am wearing clothes that are falling off of me again, where as 3 months ago they didn't eve FIT! WTH?...this is friggen awesome!

Also awesome..shopping..looking for your size and realizing they don't have any left cuz EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG is that size!!! not cuz yer ass is too damn big to fit into anything in said store. SWEET! Another awesome thing..not wearing the biggest size in a NORMAL store..HUH? How FANTABULOUS! I can't wait for this summer to finally get here.

I have a shopping trip planned with a friend to go to Minneapolis May long..Albertville and Ikea here we come! I need pretty much everything. I was on the phone with my mom last night and she asked me what size i was wearing now..I told her 14-16, XL shirts..she said..BUT THAT'S WHAT I WEAR!....hahahahah I am 5'11" she is 5'1"...TOO FUNNY! In her defense, she is 75 and runs circles around me. She still works, cleaning other people's homes on top of her own. So yeah she is pretty darn healthy and amazing! Oh that reminds me..Mother's Day is coming up! Better get her a gift and a card and mail it to her.

All in all this is the BEST thing I have ever done for myself! People tell me I look like a teenager..hahaha..NOT! But I sure feel like one! I am amazed at how this has worked for me and I know this was the right time for it too.

Now..new project..find and RTD protein that isn't NARSTY or Premier..I am overloaded on that stuff. YACK! I still love my Vanilla ISO Sensation 93..but I need something quick for traveling this summer.

Ahh summer...shorts, jiggly skin and bat wings..do I care?......NOPE NOT ONE BIT!..cuz I am a former fatty..HAH! SO what if I am jiggly?..don't look at me then..LOL

Yeah that would be me..HOLY COW BATMAN..what's with the freakin' mood swings??? The slightest thing will set me off and wow, it's soooo hard to get back to normal once the grouchy train has left the station! I am already very tired of this..YUCK! Looking forward to being even again...*sigh*

At least the whole period thing has been solved! I have to take my pill at exactly the same time every day. LOL it's works great, I just put it as a timer on my blackberry and voila, c'est tout parfait!

I'm still doing good with the weight loss. Not complaining at all. It goes steady for about 2 weeks then goes really slow for 2 more weeks. I know it has to do with my hormones, so it's easier to deal. :) I have reached one of my goals..to weigh less than my hubby. Now I am getting sooooo close to the goal my nutritionist set for me too. I don't know how long it will take but I am sure I will be there before it's gets hot enough for shorts out here..LOL you know..mid july ish..LMAO! Freakin' Winterpeg, Manisnowba!( Winnipeg, Manitoba for you non Canucks)

My mom still huffs and puffs about my stomach growing back( she hopes) and how much do I weigh now..she is impossible. I can't make her happy! LOL She doesn't like it when I'm fat and how dare I get skinny..SHEESH! Good thing I did this for me and not her, huh? At least my dad is not going all cuckoo on me. He is pretty cool about it all and I think he is happy for me. I know now, to me this does seem kinda drastic, after the fact. BUT I know I would not be here any other way. I have lost  lots of weight on my own before and I simply didn't want to ruin my metabolism by going up and down for years more. I think doing the VSG now has given me the best chance at keeping the weight off and modifying my lifestyle accordingly. I am not in the excersise mode yet, but I am getting rather jiggly so I know that it's coming. We got a home gym and I do have a bike and crappy treadmill to use. Maybe I will try T tapping and yoga too..I like the long lean muscles. :)

Well I just wanted to update a bit and now I must vamoose..I gotta get the toddler to moms and tots..before the craft is done and there is no snack left! *the horror* LOL

Happy Hump Day Ya'll!

So things are going pretty well for me. Other than this whole period thing..omg how annoying! I will get to that in a moment. I am losing at a nice rate, not too fast and it's going consistently. I am eating well, and getting my protein in pretty well to full amount daily. Water and other fluids go down nicely too. Taking my vitamins is going well so far. I am going tot ry to take the non chewable ones very soon. See how that goes. Restriction is seeming to vary, I think I know why though. Sometimes I know what will fit in my tummy, like a cheese string for example. BUT, if I don't chew it well, I am stuffed either before I am done eating or stuffed for really long. SO CHEW YER FOOD KIDS!

My scars are well..meh. Itchy and still healing, but really I am not worried about them in the slightest. If per chance I get a tummy tuck one day..maybe then I will be annoyed. No stressing on those right now though.

Ok this whole period thing..seriously ANNOYING! I started taking the BCpill once I got my first post-op period. Great!...or so I thought! I am having breakthrough bleeding..for a week now and today, a week early..yep you guessed. Period! Really..dudeI could SOOOO do without this. LOL I will keep taking the pill for 2 more months and see if in that time it regulates things. I don't remember it being like this the last time I took the pill..so who knows? It may not be strong enough for me anymore too, with all the extra hormones floating around, getting released into my blood.

I am down 45lbs! YAY! got about that to lose still..which means I am halfway to goal! Well, MY goal anyways. To get to my NUT's goal I  have less than 25lbs to go..whoohoo! I am feeling great for the most part, but have been avoiding shopping still..LOL We'll see if that changes soon or not. I still have the HATE of shopping.

I have been a total slacker with this blog. Too many reasons to list, but none of them really matter. LOL So here I am back in the saddle, so to speak.

I am 6 weeks out today. WOW! it has been an amazing ride! I have lost 38 lbs..I think..I am NOT obsessed with weighing myself 50 times a day. I may even skip a few days..weird! I am one of those women who will lose 2 weeks of the month and nothing for the other 2. Ok..now that I know that I am ok with it. I was 234-236 for all of the Christmas holidays. Was waiting for my period to start(a bit late) and WHAM..5 lbs down in a couple of days. HELLO..that was great! It wont be long before I I weigh less than my husband. I think he is a bit miffed too, he has been swiping my Premier Protein shakes. I asked him last night, "dude, why you drinkin' my shakes?" he got all puffed up and said "you think you're the only one who needs protein?' HAHAHA! I laughed, and said  "ok..maybe try NOT eating a whole meal before you have a whole protein meal in that shake"

He has been quite grouchy with me lately and frankly I am losing patience. Just so you know this is not related to my surgery. He gets like this every holiday season. Not quite sure why, weather, stress or money..who knows?! I know he will cool out in a bit, but GRRR..LOL

I survived the holidays, didn't deprive myself too badly either. I had chocolate *gasp* and cookies too! I even had a bit of a pancake. OMG!..LOL I even told my parents the truth about my surgery. My mom stressed about it a bit, my dad knew better than to say anything to me. I think he was secretly happy I did this and DIDN'T tell my mom. He would have had to deal with her incessant questions..LOL My parents visited for 10 days and by the time they left my mom was more comfortable with my VSG and the amount of food I can eat. They noticed my weight loss right away and by the time they see me this summer they are gonna freak out. I am SURE I will get the "you should stop now, eat more" reaction. Oh well..can't please everyone and I didn't do it to please them anyways. I did this to be healthier so we can have more time together. I mean it's gotta be pretty bad when you 75yr old mother exhausts your 36yr old self!!

I am finally back to cleaning my kitchen and doing the laundry! YAY! Today I have already done 2 loads and will hopefully will vacuum the carpets, sweep the floor and wash it too. WHOOHOO! I also can't wait til I can start to work out. At the end of the month we get a profit sharing cheque from my hubbies employer. We will be using some of that to buy a used home gym. I am NOT a gym person! This is REALLY FUNNY...cuz I met my husband at the gym. I worked in a gym for 4 yrs..LOL with a free membership, and personal trainers as friends. I still got PHAT!..LMAO! Anyways, where we live now, it is not a smart move to join a gym, drive half an hour to work out, get a sitter..blah blah blah..it's not worth the added stress. So having a gym in our home is the BEST method for all of us. I have space for it and I have never failed to use the equipment I have had available to me. Except when I ruined my knee and couldn't use the bike, so we need a treadmill!

So getting my gym set up soon is perfect timing. I have pretty much recouped from the tired part of surgery. I was right to give myself 6 weeks, like post partum. I am glad for people who bounce back quicker, but I think this is the perfect pace for  me and my family. We need time to get used to new things..LOL

Feeding the family has been somewhat of a chore. UGH! I have been liking just using the crock pot and cooking chickens. Also loving the meat loaf..YUM! I think today will be egg salad (sandwiches for them) So I better boil a dozen eggs..LOL There may even be some left over for tomorrow's breakkie! I can only hope.

Well my cute lil baby is sleeping, so I am going to get some work done. Poor girl got the BAD stomach flu last week and is still so weak and clingy. I LOVE HER!!

So you read it. I am sleeved. It had been a bit a an interesting ride but none the less here I am. I tried to write about this last week , but somehow my post went missing and in my drug induced haze I didn't even notice until today. GRRRR!

So here is how it all went down for me. Monday November 29th I got up at 7am took a shower and braided my hair. No deodorant or hair products allowed surgery day. EW! Anyways, got the baby off to school and my oldest kid got the two middle ones off to school since we had to be at the hospital for 9am. Got there, hubby waited with me until they took me back to get nekkid and iv'd. I let him get on with his day since he A: doesn't like hospitals B: was going to be working shorter days while i was in hospital right before Christmas(can we say broke?) and C: People go to Mexico alone..at least we were in the same damn city..LOL

The lady who got me all set up was very sweet and even directed me away from the magazines in  my room, since they were all geared to food..LOL So once I was in my awesome hospital bed/gurney, I grabbed my book. A nice light easy read. It's called Shiver. About werewolves..nice story. Moving on, at about 10:45 the anesthesiologist came to meet me and ran through my info and promised to not chip my teeth...UGH!..LOL Not funny. He said in 20yrs I haven't chipped any teeth...other than a bridge I'd like to forget! LOL poor guy! The nurse came put in my IV and then a surgical nurse came to grab me and wheel me down a freeeeeeeezing hallway to my operating room. There I got to see my surgeons, several nurses and of course Mr. anesthesia. They had me slide over on the the table and strapped my legs down and put a nice warm blanket on me. Strapped my arms on the boards and gave me straight oxygen to breathe through a mask. Then they injected the good stuff into my veins....that's all she wrote people. I woke up in recovery, with a nice nurse telling me to cough out my breathing tube. VOILA TINY TUMMY!

I got up to my room and slept and slept. I was pretty out of it and waiting for my family to show up. I hit my morphine pump and went back to sleep..A LOT!. I was feeling ok. Kids and hubby came after their supper. I had no roomie that night so the health care aid and a nurse came in about 11pm, gave me a rub down with these awesome warm wipes. Changed my gown and got me up to pee. Oh man was I dizzy. I went to the potty and sat down, did all my business and..whoa..man am I dizzy. I'm gonna pass out..am I?..no..yes...Ohh yes. Ok maybe not, I'm gonna sit here for a minute and see....and KERPLUNK! I fell right off the toilet!!! Onto the floor, smacked my neck and back into the wall behind me..OW! Scared the crap out of the nurse and health care aid. They had to run and get a different guy cuz, well I am a big girl..LOL and he was a bit on the older side..I might have broken him. I shuffled back to bed and they said, NO MORE GETTING UP MISSY! They let my surgeons know and slapped the constant BP cuff on me and took my heart rate every hour all night. IT WAS HIGH!

So in the AM after a crappy night, the surgeons both come back and say, we have a problem. Your heart rate is pretty elevated and that indicates either a bleed or a leak. We have to go back in. OK!..I really didn't a rat's ass at that point. I just knew I felt like crap and wanted to feel better. So around 11 am again..back I go down the elevator to the first floor, with a germy porter..EWWW! He was sneezing all over the place and generally grossing me right out.

I got back to the OR and saw the surgeons again.. lather, rinse, repeat..same experience as before..no hot anesthesiologist though..LOL Darn you Bren..you are lucky! Back up to my room, this time with a catheter..which I requested. I was NOT interested in going to the toilet thank you very much! I had a roomie then, she had a breast reduction. She did well and was gone home the next day. I hit that pain pump and SLEPT A LOT  MORE! Family came to see me, all 4 kids..that was nice. :) I love them!

I rested pretty hard core until Wednesday, when they did a leak test on me..ugh. That tasted like SHITE!!..And since I had the second surgery I got a drain too..I hate that thing..really. It sucked..probably the worst part for me, but I digress. Moving around on the x-ray table was very tough, I was super sore and did the best I could. It seemed like it was all good so they let me go back up to my room. They hooked me back up to my best friend Morphine and I slept some more. I got a new roomie that afternoon. She was SUPER awesome! A sweet British lady. I woke up to her family all talking to her and realized..oh sweet they are black..well so am I. It was heartwarming to hear their expressions and comments..LOL Like home for me!..sorta..anyways she was great! Told her when I left that I would pray for her, her surgery was exploratory and they didn't know what they were going to do. :(

Thursday they took my catheter out and let me get up and start walking around. I went for a short walk with my kids when they came that evening to visit. It took a lot out of me. Each time it did get easier though..I also got to go pee on my own..WHOO HOOO! What a treat! And I got my period..right on time of course. Thankfully with all the blood loss from the surgeries, it was light and caused no cramping as it usually does.

So all in all...2 surgeries, catheter, fell off toilet, got period..and got a BLOOD TRANSFUSION too. I need to take iron 3 times a day..for a month. That isn't going well since I still have to drink and eat..so my whole day is a bit cluttered and over planned. I am pain free now, have been off the meds for a few days now. It was only Tylenol anyways. Sometime with a T3 if I was extra sore. I also have to take Colace..which tastes like ASS..well not really, but still sucky. I get my vits in and am doing my very best at getting my water and protein in, but I am still falling pretty short there.

I am 2 weeks out and I would do this again..just not twice in a row please..UGH! I am doing well, made dinner tonight, cleaned the kitchen last night, ran the dishwasher after I filled it. Did laundry yesterday too..I do need a lot more sleep though. I decided I am going to give myself a solid 6 weeks, like after I have a baby to get back on my feet. Especially since the blood loss is really kicking my butt right now. I am just going to keep plugging away and do my best!

So yeah..might not have started in the best way...but I know it's getting better and better each day. I am on my way to better health!

YAY!

I'm sure I forgot stuff that is important. I am really ticked because I worte this all out last week, but somehow it didn't load..grrr! I can tell you it was way funnier than what I wrote here today simply because of the T3's..LMAO!

Ok so tomorrow AM I go in the the Victoria Hospital in Winnipeg for my sleeve gastrectomy. I am thrilled, excited, a little anxious(mostly for afterward) and did I mention excited???

I am feeling kinda weird though, I have told almost no one in my life. My parents don't know, my in laws don't know. Only my immediate family and a handful of friends. I wish I could rejoice in telling them, but I honestly don't want to hear any negative comments before I go in. Not sure I want to hear them after either..who knows? Figuring out the childcare has been though since I have told almost no one..I think we have it all figured out though. If we don't tomorrow morning will be interesting to say the least..LOL I refuse to stress over it though..it will work out one way or another.

I am worried about my baby girl, who is still nursing and wakes up at night to nurse still. Not sure how that will pan out after surgery. I am sure my hubby will manage her for the nights I am not home. Once I am home though, I wonder how I will do? She sleeps with us..so I will have to avoid her little feet in my tummy..lol  I might have to sleep elsewhere for a while..just hope it's not too long. :( She is what keeps me warm at night! Also I am not meant to lift more than 10lbs for 2 weeks..ugh! That will make diaper changes interesting. Hopefully my oldest borrowed son(17yrs) will lift her up for me and take her down after. Which means he will have to get his sorry butt up early in the AM..LOL

I am trying to not over think anything, because I have surprised myself with how resilient I can be. The only thing I am not sure of is how the anesthetic will affect me after wards. Oh well..if I need more help I will get more help.

I thank God for this gift He is allowing me to have and I promise to be diligent with caring for it as well as I can! I got some good soul food at church today and I am ready to face this challenge with  His help! I know I can't do it all on my own power..but seems to me He has some to spare..LOL

So to all those having surgery tomorrow..all around the world..God Bless and Good Luck!! here's to us!!!

Ok so last night I was a mess..all over the place! I am SO much better tonight! My brother in law has been found!! OMG I ALMOST PASSED OUTH WEHN I GOT THE TEXT!  So, he is on his way home, he is safe and honestly is all that matters!

PHEW!!!

I got to do  my surgery pre-op visit today. The nurse explained the order of things once I get to the hospital Monday morning. I am glad I went..I didn't even remember where the hospital was. I rarely go to that side of town..LOL The nurses were awesome! I'm feeling quite relaxed about all of this...hope I'm not setting myself up for a wake up call.  Well in any case, 4 more sleeps and I'm going for surgery! I'm very excited to get this new phase of my life started.

YAY!..I'm feeling so much better and soooo much less messy!..LOL

I am not having a good morning. Not one bit. I have been up for less than 2 hrs and I want to go back to bed. My brother in law is still missing. My baby is sick. I have thrush..fun fun fun. I need to meet with the surgeons tomorrow and need to get groceries for my family too. Not sure how I am going to get all of this done. My sis in law is normally the one who watches my kids, but she has 3 of her own and is pregnant with #4. I can't take my sick baby over there now. She is meant to be watching her when I am in the hospital next week.

Still have only lost 7lbs..still doing the shakes and veggies. The proper way..but it's the PMS week. That's what  is getting to me. I can't manage the smallest thing right now. My awesome husband is going to have to work shorter days, right before Christmas..he will have to manage the 4 kids on his own, and the baby is still breastfeeding! At least he can cook, but he isn't used to this level of work on top of his job. I am feeling very selfish and have fleeting thoughts of calling this whole thing off. I know I wont. That's not what I want of course. But I really want to eat a friggen pizza right now!

I'm terrified that I will have a fatty liver and that I wont get my surgery! My mom has a fatty liver, but I think hers is from having had Hepatitis B when she was a young woman traveling in Mexico. I can't give blood because I have antibodies I got from her while in utero.....ahh I digress.

Apparently I have typed diarrhea today, so bear with me. I am meant to be going to a moms and tots group today, but since the bubs is sick, I'm staying home. I really want this surgery, so I can have a better quality of life. I want to get through this part..and I know about getting through stuff. I have eternally nauseous while pregnant..like for MONTHS!! I still did it 3 times..LOL and I will do it again one day I hope. That was tough or the whole family, but the outcome is worth it. I think getting my sleeve with be worth it too. Aren't I worth it?..

I think I need to go crack open my bible and read something...anything! I need some soul food, which I would have gotten today if I would go to the moms n tots. Ugh..I know God plans all things for me. He has the perfect plan..I just need to get with the program!

5 more sleeps til surgery!!!

Soooo going to take a nap today!

So really..this pre-op diet thing hasn't been too bad. I did feel yuck and lightheaded the first two days, but after that I was fine. I have lost 7lbs in 7 days..not too shabby! I did have some major stress in my life this week though, one was my fault(partially) the other is totally not my fault.

My amazing 24yr old brother in law went missing last Sunday and no one has heard from him since. We don't know if there is foul play or what. It's been kinda emotional. But, I am laying hold of my faith that God knows where he is and will only allow what is his will to happen. I can't do a thing about it. No point in worrying and wasting time stressing. It just makes me want to eat. I feel like this is the perfect time to trust God and to know it's okay to take care of me at the same time as the rest of those I love. I am just as important as them. Hard to remember that when you are a momma! So I really do hope and pray that my Bro is OK! That he comes home soon and we get to hug him too! Miss him like crazy!

The other thing...yeah..stupid allergies making my life complicated again! I can't use the normal liquid diet, so the NUT and I had to figure something out. We did and I went with it. Well that one made me sick too..YUCK! So we moved on to that next choice..that was fine, BUT I for some reason continued adding protein to the new shake. I got a new protein that has 110 cals in it! HOLY! So I had been up to 1200 cals a day!! Was meant to be 600-800..OMG! All from the right stuff, but seriously too high! So now I have it all figured out, no thanks to the NUT at all. UGH! I am paying her for what? I could have done all of this myself. I get better info here..she should get hers here too for crying out loud. OK so...I'm not a fan..moving on.

I have 7 days left til surgery! I am on the straight and narrow with the shakes. Twice since figuring out I was over caloried, I haven't had my 4th shake..LOL Weird!? Just wasn't feeling the need for it. My husband is an AMAZING supportive guy! He has been very sweet to me and so tolerant of my cuckoo reactions. His is missing his brother in all of this too! My kids are being so sweet and listening so well(for the most part).I am SO thankful for this awesome family God has given me! So here's to getting through the next week and getting my spot on the loser's bench!!

Warm it up, I'm almost there!!

What an amazing gift this time before surgery is..time to think things through and gain appreciation for those who went this way before me! :)