Kristen3159

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Well i havent blogged in some time i feel like. Im down 46 lbs and just got back from a vacation that was in a warm sunny spot that required a bathing suit and I didnt feel like a complete fat ass, but yet its amazing that im almost 50 lbs down and I still feel "fat". I sort of still see the old me when looking in the mirror. WIth the weight loss, I met a new guy and he has been fabulous, but just like the guys I have met when a lot heavier, he turned out to be the same, full of shit I guess and not wanting a relationship. He had just gotten out of relationships when we met, so i understood that he wanted to take things slow, but at the same time, hanging out every once in a while really has no harm. So having lost weight, i really  had hoped that I would pick up my non existing relationship side of me and that just isnst happen. Im very upset b/c him and I really got along amazingly well. It seems like he is very scared of me on top of not being ready for a relationship, so seeing me would be too much pressure for him. I cant wait around forever tho. So i must move on and I find tho that I have a need to have something to "drive" me daily. I had looked forward to talking to him on a daily basis, thus making me get the rest of my daily crap done. I have to shift my daily drive now which i'd like to push my weight loss a little more. I am at 190 now and would really like to start seeing the number 8 in the tens place versus a 9. I am thinking of doing protein shakes for a week or two to change up my routine, and probably kick up my metabolism. Your metabolism is funny like that and once it gets used to your daily routines, eating habits, it almost starts to fight it. So shakes it is! Then i might walk 5-10 minutes longer and try to walk outside now that it is getting warmer. I am finally fitting into a size 14 jeans!! Yay!! And a large, even some medium shirts!!! My pictures look nice from my trip and the double chin is pretty much gone, which bothered me the most.

As far as my band goes, i do have some concerns b/c it hasnt been easy and I have to call tomorrow and really start to address the problem of slippage. I have .5 cc's in my band and  I honestly get really full easily and things get stuck incredibly easily. I had to have all my fill taken out b/c I was so tight that nothign woudl pass through. I think that was mostly attributed to stress b/c I have MAJOR stress going on in my life, having lost my job and I was studying for a state examination (which i got the results for and passed!!!!!) so i think i got really tight and really had no idea where it was going with this guy for some time. So i booked a trip and went away to try to relax. But, i have never vomited up my food, I have never overeaten since my surgery- somethign that would cause slippage. However, I do get acide reflux BAD. Yet, i have had acid reflux for years now and that can be attributed to stress. I am taking something for it, but I think I need to possible have an x ray or whatever they do for slippage b/c I just think its WEIRD to have .5 cc's NOT 5 cc's (so dont get that mixed up) in me and to feel full and still get a little stuck sometimes and need papaya enzyme pills. Just got back from my trip on Saturday and office has been closed so will call tomorrow. 

Well now for some new measurements:

39.5 waist
44 abdomen
43 hips
26.5 right thigh
25.5 left thigh
39 back/bra

Comparison measurements 3 months of weight loss: total of 18.5 inches lost on my body

Waist : 12/25/08: 45 inches
01/06/09: 44 inches
02/15/09: 41 inches
04/13/09: 39.5 Abdomen:
12:25/08: 49 inches
01/06/08: 47 inches
04/13/09: 44 inches Left Thigh: 12/25/08: 28 inches
02/15/09: 26 inches
04/13/09: 25.5 inches

Right Thigh 12/25/08: 28 inches
02/15/09: 27 inches
04/13/09: 26.5 inches
Hips: 12/25/08: 45 inches
04/13/09: 43 inches

I've been waiting and waiting and waitinggggggggggggggg to get out of the 200's and thats what I have been yearning to see. I am 100% cool with the weight loss being a slow process and understand that it is healthier and your chances of keeping it off are much higher in the long run, but being out of the 200's makes me feel like a new and different person :) I have been for almost a month now teetering between 210-200, LITERALLY. It would be 210, then 208. Then 211, then 207.5. Then 208, then 207. Then 204, then 202.5. Then it would stay at 202.5-203 for 2 weeks straight and wouldnt budge. Then i started seeing 201 and last week I saw 200 for the first time. I screamed so loud that my mom came running down the hall hahahah. I wouldnt get off the scale and made her grab my camera and i took a picture of the scale hahahahhaa. Well, same thing this morning!! I saw 199.5, screamed, made her grab the camera, and took a picture!! yay!!! and to celebrate, i bought myself a new cute dress. Can't wait to wear it. Its a summery dress and its a MEDIUM!!! I know a medium isnt normally a 199lb size, so its def "off"  on its size chart. I should be in a Large, cuz thats what im fitting in in other clothes, but the large just didnt fit right. I am DEF not one of those who tries to fit in clothes that dont fit me tho. I hate rolls over jeans etc. I am the complete opposite and if anything, wear clothes too big!! I will soon put on my new dress, wear it out and take some pics and upload them. My motivation is back :) 

I have been having a really really tough past few weeks. I have no seen the scale budge and have been teetering between 204 and 201. I still cant see the #1 instead of the #2 in the hundreds place and its really bringing me down. My weight is my catalyst to depression. When im losing i feel great about myself and can look in the mirror and see how great I look, but when im not losing, its almost like I have goggles on and I see my fat ol self. I feel like im ridiculously hungry and its scaring the crap outta me b/c isnt the band supposed to make me less hungryy?!?!? I think im really confused about fills and how they are supposed to make me less hungry. I dont hink they change the size of the "new" stomach, they just make the hole smaller, so how will that make me eat less food? I can EASILY eat a cup or more at this point. I did experience my first blockage tho and man that was REALLY painful and pb'ed. I had read a lot of people talking about it and really had no clue what they were talking about. Right now I am at 4.5 cc's with my 2nd fill. I obv def need a 3rd fill. I wonder when people start to feel it really  helping them? :(

Well its bee over a month, about 5 weeks to be exact and I am down the first 36lbs which is an amaxzing accomplishment, but I do have some concerns and some in and out depression I am experiencing. The weight isnt moving as fast as it was before, so that is a bit worrisome, tho probably normal. I know that my body was in shell shock initially and lost a lot but i also kknow the body gets used to the diets and you have to trick your body and do something different. So maybe walking a little bit longer, or doing a few days of shakes might shake it up a bit? I had my first fill and this past week i have been STARVING. Howeever, the good news is that my weight has affected my menstrual cycles terribly in the past few years. I went two whole years without menstruating and when i started losing weight, i got it back in December, and I got it again this past week. So that is good news b/c I was really worried that my ability to have kids would be affected. But its kind of proving my endocrinolgists theory that if i lose weight, my body will adject accordingly and most likely go back to normal. Man, fat really does mess up your hormones! Also, I know that losing, hypothetically, 2 lbs/week would make me lose about a 100lbs for a year which is actually ALOT. But when the 2 lbs are budging, it feels so slow! Since my last fill on the 9th, i have lost 5lbs, which is probbaly good. Im sure i have a lot of water weight due to my mentruation etc and of course bloating. But the one thing I find odd is the fact that no food causes any problems for me yet, i have not thrown up, and havent experience any dumping! Just to try it, i had a piece of bread, no problem. Tried rice, no problem. Fibrous veggies like celery and  broccoli, no problem.... Im glad, but yet i sorta wish i couldnt get bread down so it would eliminate any urges! I got food stuck once and boy was that painful!!!! It lasted for about five minutes and then passed.

Im almost at the 40lbs mark and even tho i know i look skinnier i dont feel like i look like I lost that much weigth!! i mean, thats a small child!!! Im only down one size of jeans 18 to a 16 and the 14s fit but leave a roll on top, so im not ready for them yet, but am on my way, obv. Cant wait to get into 14's!!!! I also can put on some large shirts vs xx and xl. I guess looking at yourself everyday, you dont see it as much as someone else who hasnt seen you might.

So far so good tho. Have my second fill scheduled for next tues. Will see how my weight progress is then.

41 waist (4 inches down)   (45)
hips 44  (5 inches down)    (49)
Lthigh 26 (2 inches down)  (28)
R thigh 27  (1 inch down)    (28)
 

So im feeling the success of my band, but am also incredibly confused b/c after my first fill I feel more hungry.. isnt that weird?!?!?! I also feel like food is going down easier than it was BEFORE i had a fill.. even weirder!!! I saw the liquid going in so i know he didnt take any out LOLLLL. Will see how I really am doing at my second fill appt on the 23rd. In the mean I find that i easily get bummed out when i dont see the scale budging. Maybe I should put the scale away and only weight myself once a week or something? Gotta think of a new plan!

Well, i had my first till yesterday with 1cc of solution. Today I am back on soft foods, back to normal tomorrow. Now, am i crazy, b/c I feel much hungrier than I was before the fill!!! crazy, right? Also, I feel like my food goes down smoother versus before?!?!?! Im scared lollll... I dont want to gain weight.. maybe my hormones are whacked out?

It was simpler than I thought it would be. Totally painless and intersting, i must say. Boy has technology in medicine take us far!

3 more lbs till my first goal weight of 200.. yay!!! I never want to see the number 200 again!

Well, I am a little over 3 weeks post op and I am down 31 lbs as of today. This past week and a half has been a real bummer tho and has really caused me some frustration and lack of motivation b/c the scale was going no where!!!! I didnt understand it. It has been going down down down,  and as soon as i started eating some solid foods, it just stopped! I figured it had a lot to do with me being constipated (adding some weight on me) but even after i went, it stayed the same. I guess i hit my first plateau, as my body was now getting solids for the first time in about a month.... I started walking 10 min more than i normally do and am now up to 30min/day, but i did do 45 min the other day!!! Yesterday the scale FINALLY budged 2lbs, i walked some, and then today, it budged another 2lbs, bringing me down to 205.5 :))))) My first goal is to be at 200 on Feb 12th, my one month anniversary. I am working really hard to get there b/c i dont want to not achieve the first goal i set for myself. Thats not a good start!! So i have 7 days to do so and have to lose 5.5lbs.. i can do it!!!!

I really struggled over the weekend with some acid reflux and im really not sure why at all. I got a little scared and went back to liquids and called the doc on monday and they advised me to double up on the prilosec for a few days. But I was feeling ok the day I called, so i stayed at the one pill to see if i'd get better, and I did! The only thing that comes to mind is that I started taking flax seed oil again, b/c i have for years and maybe that cause some reflux. The other thing is that i was super stressed over the weekend and sometimes that can cause it. Really not sure, but im just glad it is gone!

I go on Monday for my first fill. The doctor said some people dont even need fills, but I think i def do b/c I am hungry about 2 hours after I eat. I am being good, but its really taking me alot of effort. I'd rather have my first fill and have the fullness last me a little bit longer. Hope the weight continues to drop after that. Right now im trying to decide on my next goal after my Feb 12th one. I am going to go back and look at the amount of lbs I have lost and see what is an attainable goal. Never good to set youself up for something not attainable!

I am one happy chica right now, can see my face!!! And I am slimming down horizontally. I can fit into pants that i havent worn in 5 years and my stomach is flattening which is great. Its definitely getting a little jiggly, but a tummy tuck just isnt for me b/c i havent had kids yet and i knwo thats something you shoudl really wait for til after you are done giving birth to your kids. So ill just have to deal with some jiggle. As long as im healthier and thinner, i can deal with it!

:)

Well, its been 19 days since my surgery and I am down 27 lbs, now weight at 209.  This is exciting, however i starting to get a little bit down b/c the scale has budged since Monday, the day i was allowed to start eating solid foods. So now im nervous that the weight loss will stop b/c im off of liquids. Im considering just going back to the protein shakes for a while to lose more weight. Also, now that i have introduced foods, i am doing the whole, trial by error thing, figuring out what will go down and not get stuck, and well, everything goes down fine!! I mean this is a good thing b/c people have a hard time with foods, but it makes me feel like omg this isnt going to work for me and the only reason i lost the weight was b/c of liquids!!!! Even lettuce, a fibrous food, went down perefectly fine! Idk, i think the next few days im going to stick to protein shake. I realize I should be proud of myself, and tho I am, I still feel disappointed that I didnt lose another 5 lbs or so, since thats about the rate it has been per week since I started this journey. My goal is to be at 200lbs, or I should say 199, under the 200lb mark, by the one month mark, which is Feb 12th. I am going to Florida Feb 24th and want to feel good about myself!!! So i have 9lbs to go with 12 days to do it. I hope this works!

Well, its been 6 days since my surgery and even tho it really hasn't been that tough of an experiece, the pain in my chest from gas is playing with my head a little. It almost feels like you are choking sometimes and have something stuck in your check. Then finally, after moving around walking, wiggling while sitting, lifiting your legs, you let out a huge burp and that pressure is released. But its a very scary feeling bc its a foreign feeling. I also feel dehydrated, and am trying to drink as much water as a i can, but you can only take down so much at a time.  Also, when lying down the movement of the gas almost feels like a heart palpitation which feels weird and makes me start to panic a little. I did read some forums on the lap band website and read many others have this fear initially too.


What was most fearful for me was that I spent the night in the ER. I have had this terrible throbbing pain i nmy left leg for 24 hours and i kinda of ignored it at first, but also in the back of my mind was worried about a blood clot. My mom told me not to worry about it, and you sorta of always listen to mom! So i tried to remain calm, kept walking around, but not too strenuosly. So for my leg to hurt this much scared the crap out of me. Finally at 3am, i got up and drove myself to the ER. They said that it was good that i did b/c the blood in my left leg was very thick and the D Dimer test showed that i was at risk for a blood clot. This throws the whole theory out hte window, that you are a low risk when yo dont take birth control, smoke, and are young. I dont take any of those things and am only 28 so i tried to kepe remembering that but went anyway. Well thank god! They did a vascular test on me and didnt see a clot in either of my legs but the test confirmed that the blood was overly thick so they had to give me another shot of heparin, somethng they also give you beforr surgery. Honestly, I am as black as one can get in that area and ironically in the area aroudn where I was cut, i am only a greenish/yellowish bruise. So that anticoagulant really bruises you up!! I feel better knowing its not a clot and that i got a shot to thin my blood for the nxxt few days. Always go with your instinct and dont listen to others!!!

I havent been overly hungry, but  I am starting to crave things b/c I havent eaten solid food in 3 weeks. The good news is that I am 23lbs down, but still I am wanting a nice fat juicy steak!!!  aaahhhhhhhhh. I have had a few macaronic noodles, eaten them really reallly well, im not sure if im even allowed to have this, but it didnt hurt or feel weird going down, and i need osmehting for nutrients as the shakes nad broth and everything else was start to make me yucky and i have been constipated for a week so i was hiping a little of some food woul dhelp me go. I'll have to aclal the drs office on Monday and ask if i should take a laxative.

Today: 213 Lbs. ---- 23 lbs down!! WooHoo!!

Waist: 42 inches -- 2 inches lost
Hips: 47 inches --- 2 inches lost
Thighs: 27 inches: 1 inch lost on each
Total thighs: 43 inches-- 2 inches lost..

On the right path!!! :)

Well, I did it!!! I was extremely nervous when i arrived at the hospital and was a little nervous when the nurse was giving me information prior to my surgery about making sure to walk around after surgery to avoid blood clots and to make sure to breathe through a spirometer to make sure i was expanding my lungs and openign them up. This only worried me b/c not knowing how i'd feel afterward, i hoped id be in good enough condition to get up and walk around. Im a worry wart by nature tho.

I must admit that the cuts were larger than i anticipated, which is fine by me, just surprised a little. And the pain in my abdomen is much more than i anticipated. The vicoden elixir was not strong enough for me and i could not sleep when i got home from the hospital yesterday, nor last night. My mother went out and pick up a prescripton from the doctor for percocet which I am crushing and putting in a tablespoon of vannila sugar free pudding. The perc's are working much better on the pain!!! But the best part is seeing some light at the end of the tunnel b/c i weighed myself today and I am officially 20lbs down!!! I'm so proud of myself and feel the enthusiasm inside me. I have the drive to get on the treadmill and walk walk walk!! Tho this isnt possbiel at this moment, i am excited for the nexts few days to pass of healing to then do so.

Basically I have been making sure that I am small sips of water and chicken broth to keep hydrated but also to have some caloric intake to avoid any nauseaua. I did not vomit affter surgery and never experienced any nauseaua which is fantastic! I have heard that some people vomit a lot. This is a big relief! So today i had about 2-3 ozs of some protein shake to get some nutrients in me and a little pudding to crush the pills in. I have been walking around and moving around the gas to relieve some of the chest pains from the gas. Im not sure if the gas is directly from the anesthesia or from sipping liquids and the air just gets stuck from the bands new restriction on the stoma area. Either way, i can feel it in my back and chest and getting it out, feels much better. It really bothered my neck yesterday and when i breathed in deep, but the nurse assured me it was gas, and it certianly was. So a lot of burping has been going on!! LOL

Well, so far so good :) I look forward to seeing hte weight come off of me. I am psyched and can see my thighs sagging a little, and am already thinking about getting creams to help tighten up my skin as the lbs come off! yayyyyyyy!!!