kwheen tee
HELLO EVERYONE! AND WELCOME TO MY STORY.I MUST START OFF SAYING THAT THIS A WONDERFUL SITE FOR NEW FOUND FRIENDSHIPS AND INFORMATION. I HAVE BEEN OVERWEIGHT FOR THE MAJORITY OF MY LIFE. BUT AT THIS POINT SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE.I NEED MEDICAL INTERVENTION! I HAVE TRIED MANY DIFFERENT DIETS FROM ATKINS,WEIGHT WATCHERS,SLIM FAST, THE CABBAGE SOUP DIET. YOU NAME IT AND I HAVE TRIED IT.BUT WITH MANY CHANGES IN MY WEIGHT CAME,THE YO-YO EFFECT OF GAINING MORE WEIGHT AFTER NOT BEING ON A PARTICULAR PLAN FOR A WHILE.AT FIRST I WOULD THINK THAT THIS SURGERY WAS A QUICK FIX . BUT KNOW AFTER RESEARCHING THIS FOR ABOUT 3YRS I'VE LEARNED DIFFERENTLY.I AM 32YRS OLD,NO CHILDREN,FIANCEE (THAT LOVES ME THE WAY THAT I AM) BUT, I AM DOING THIS FOR ME AND MY HEALTH. AND ALSO THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO DO AGAIN. I HAVE A HOST OF NIECES AND NEPHEWS THAT I GOTTA KEEP UP WITH. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM BEING A BIG GIRL.THERE IS JUST MORE OF ME TO LOVE.LOL.I JUST HAVE TO FIND THE GIRL THAT IS TRAPPED INSIDE AND WANTS TO COME OUT. UNTIL NEXT TIME
6-23-05 I HAVE HAD AN APPOINTMENT WITH MY SURGEON ALREADY. I WILL BE HAVING THE PROCEDURE AT USC HOSPITAL. THE DOCTOR IS CERY KNOWLEDGEABLE IN HIS FIELD.I WILL BE HAVING THE PROCEDURE DONE LAPROSCOPICALY.HE TOLD ME BEFORE THE OFFICE WILL GIVE ME A SURGERY DATE, I WILL HAVE TO LOSE 40PDS. AT FIRST I WAS LIKE HUH? ARE YOU SURE? BUT HE SAID THE LIVER NEEDS TO SHRINK DONE IN SIZE SOME BEFORE DOING THE SURGERY. I AM COMMITTED TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET TO WHERE I HAVE TO GO. I'M ALREADY INVOLVED IN A WATER AEROBICS CLASS. I JUST GOTTA GET BACK IN THE GYM AND START WATCHING WHAT I EAT. I AM EXTEMELY HAPPY AND EXCITED ABOU THIS. JUST WISH ME LUCK FOR THE WEIGHT LOSS PRIOR TO GETTING A SURGERY DATE.
6-28-05 Since my last post, I was in a serious car accident. My car is gone. No more car. Well that is until the insurance company does there thing. But I also have good news to report.I recieved a call from my surgeons office with a tenative date.However it is not confirmed yet but, they say it should be in either sept. or oct. So I will be going into the new year a thinner person. The surgeon also suggested that I lose 40 pounds(to decrease the liver size).It has been abou a month since I met with him and I have already lost 12pds. Only 28pds more to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Keep me in your prayers that i stay committed to conquering this thing.I am anxious to start doing my pre-op work up. I have been told by the surgeons office not to do any of them until I have a confirmed date. I am so anxious but, I know that is coming. I figured that if I've waited this long, a few more months is not going to kill me right? :)It has been a three year debate for myself and I am ready. Until next time
7-01-05 I just wanted to wish everyone a very safe and fun holiday weekend. Best wishes to all, be careful.
7-01-05 OMG!!!!!Why is it that some people try to sabotage you?You know all of my co-workers have been very supportive and receptive to what I am going to do for myself. Before I get my surgery date, I have to lose 28 more pound to lose. One of the people that I work with has been buying me packs of oreo cookies everyday. Can you believe it? I just take them graciously and take them home and give them to my godson. He appreciates them.LOL. Has anyone else had this happen to them before. I don't think she is doing it intentionally ,it's just that we used to eat all of our junk food together. She is also considering WLS. I sorry guys I just had to let someone know.Thanks for reading.Talk to you guys later.
7-12-05 O.K, so now the journey is really geting ready to start.I just got the go ahead to star getting my pre-ops done. I just can't believe that this is really happening for me,after all of the research and going through my PCP , and then the referral process. Well todayI tried toschedule my appointmen for my stree test. I didnt think it was gonna be such a big deal (considering I work for the medical group where all my pre-ops will be done). They want me to contact the PCP'S office for a referral slip while I have one from the surgeons office. Anyway, I did that and I'm just waiting to get that back from my Dr. Hopefully by tomorrow I will have heard from them. I also scheduled my appointment for my pscyh evaluation today. The appointment is 3wks away but, I wil and can manage that. My excitability is oozing through 100%. My co-workers have always been supportive of me in my decisions and I think they are getting as excited as I am. I can finally stat turning the pages in this book of life. As I'm closing one chapter a new one is beginning. A l;though I have to admit that I am also a little nervous about this procedure. I know that this is in the best intrest of my health. I'll keep you guys posted on waht happens. Until next time.
7-14-05 Hey family!Guess whats new today? Well yesterday I was in the car with my mother, and we started talking abi=out the surgery. I was also telling her about this site and how itis a good tool to have found. As our conversation deepened, she told me that she wishes that I would not have this surgery..WHAT? She was k=like you know I have heard horror stories about people who have had this surgey. My reply to her was well have you heard about all of the complications that come along with being obese? And would you want me to spend the rest of mu lifr like that? I thought that she if no one else would understand my decision. She wants me to find an alternative way to lose the weight. My question is what other alternative do you want me to take. I have been on every diet under the sun. You name it I have probably tried it. My last attempt was a lifestyle change. I enrolled in a gym, and I even have a trainer. She knows that I am in the process of losing weight , since it is a requirement of the surgeon. She wants me to continue on the habits that I have now implemented.Then I called my PCP to find out if my paper work is ready . It is still on her desk!!!! I called her 3 days ago!! She is not the best advocate for WLS but, I did get my referral the same day. She had a patient that wound up with fatal results. SO she is very ify in regards to any WLS. In my honest opinion as of right now, I really don't think that she thought that I would really go through with this. Them the majority of my family have no idea that I am having this surgery. They will just have to see the results.There is enough discriminaion in the world today as it is. I definately don't want it coming from my family. However , I do have a support system in place. I have my wonderful boyfriend, and my friends, and all of my co-workers are all very supportive.This is supposed to be a happy time. I do not care to be stressedout,confused, or made to feel that I am making the wrong deision. I don't expect this to be a cake walk,or a walk in the clouds. I have realisic expectations.I know that this surgery is not a quick fix. Yes I understand that there will be pain and discomfort. HELLO!!!!!This is surgery. O.K. yall, I'm sorry for venting on you guys.But I just had to get this of my chest. But I do have a question for you guys. Did I really just sign my self up on a round trip ticket on an emotional roler coaster ride? Is this what so mant people who have come before me were talking about? When will it stop? I am ready to get off. Talk to you guys later
7-19-05Today is better day.Things have been going alot better. I finally got the referrals from my PCP's office. She fussed the whole time she was giving them to me though. She had her MA give me a call as she was standing there. You could here in in the back ground telling me , well you know Big Boy(radio d.j.) is having complications since having this surgery. I responded by telling her that well, you know he isn't following any of the things his doctor has told him to do. Then she came back with well, you know this patient of mine would not reccommend this procedure to any one. And then she was like, you know my other patient had complications. Everyone has a right to there own opinion and I can't disagree with that.This is my life and this is what I am going to do. This is a very personal choice and I have made mine. Anyway. I was able to schedule my appointments for my treadmill test and my psych eval today. O.K. now I'm starting to get excited,nervous,and anxious.I can not believe that this is really finally going to happen for me. I did not expect to gey my appointments for anytime this month. GOD is good, all the time. My treadmill test will be this friday and my psych eval is scheduled for mon. The other testing can all be done in one day. I'll just have to get some labs done, and a x-ray. Also an EKG. That will all be done at my PCP's ofice. I'll have to keep you guys posted on how the testing goes.
7-22-05 I just wanted to let you guys know that today I had my stress test. It went really good, except for the end whemn it started to get a little hared. It was the last minute and a half that killed me. The cardiologist told me that, I made it look like a piece of cake. Believe me at the end I had started to break a sweat.It wasnt bad at all.The longest part was getting hooked up to the monitor.The DR. already read it and he said that I passed with flying colors. Now on Monday I have an appointment to have my psych evaluation. So far one major test done and one other major one to go. Boy time is flying. I'M looking at a possible surgery date in Sept., which is right around the corner. I let you guys know what happens on monday.Until next time.
7-25-05Today I went to my appointment for my psych eval. It went very well. The psychologist told me there was no evident reason why she would not give me the ok. So I have had the 3 major test done that I needed to get done.YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not know what was going to happen espesially with the other things are going on now. (Thank you JESUS) For grtting where I am today. These last couple of weeks have been so trying for me. With GOD I can do all things. So I am moving forward with all of my plans. Yall just keep me in your prayers. Until next time.
8-05-05 Ok, i have been thinking about some things that I would like to be able to do once I have the surgery and start losing weight. Since the last time I told you guys I have losst 5 pds. Dang! I knew that this would be hard. I'll be glad when I lose this last 19pds.Any who, here is my list.
1.Cross my legs- achieved
2.Ride ALL the rides at the amusement park
3.Shop off the rack(I wanna go to the 7dolla' store)
4.Don't want to worry if the chair is sturdy enough.
5.Fit through a turn style w/o having to turn sideways-achieved
6.Fit in a booth at a restuarant-achieved
7.Not worry about being charged double on an airplane.-achieved
8.Run
9.Walk up the stairs(without asking God why?)-achieved
10.Be around for all of my nieces and nephews.
11.Live a healthier life.
12.Have better sex.(Yall' know what I'm talkin; about)
13.Have a baby.
14.Dance the night away(not sit down after 2 songs)I want to dance like the girl in the Omarion video.(LOL)
15.Don't want to wear any more clothes with an X(4-5x)
16.Tie my shoes without getting a head rush
17To not be the BIGGEST person in the room.
18.To not have to hear"oh you have such a pretty face"
19.To fit in the seats at the movies and concerts.
20.Go biking or skating on the beach.
I hope that I am not asking for too much. I am gonna' wprk this tool to the fullest once I have surgery. Take care guys until next time.
8-09-05 It is official I have a date. I recieved a call from my surgeons office confirming my date. My re-birthday will be on Sept. 23rd. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. I am so excited about this. It is 13days after my birthday. I get to have two birthdays in one month. I just thought I'd share the good news with you guys. I'm gonna" be an offical loser at the end of next month. I can't wait.!!!!!!!! Talk to you guys later.
8-19-05 Since getting my surgery date, I have been doing alot of thinking. I''ve been thinking alot about how my life will change after this surgery. Most things that I find comfort in, I will be unable to do.At least as far as eating goes. I have been preparing myself mentally for the upcoming change. I have already started implemeting changes in the way that I eat and the way that I see food. Always checking the protein and sugar level in the foods that I buy. I'm trying to do the sugar free thing. I just have alittle over a month before all of this changes. I was having a conversation with someone the other day concerning WLS. I told them that this is a very personal choice and if you can't make the choice for yourself then, maybe you should rethink it. Everyone will always have an opinion about what you are doing. But, they do not have to walk in your shoes on a daily basis. Sure they may have great intentions...................I've even been thinking about the way I will be treated as a person after weight loss. It's as if people sometimes look through you like you do not exsist,. Like if you are not wot=rth their valuable time. Will the weight loss change me after surgery? I would never want to treat people the way i've sometimes have been treated, or the way I've seen some people treated. My answer to that question is NO. I will be the same person I am today just in a smaller body. Will my image of food change? YES, I've already started that work. I just wanted to share will you all the things that have been on my mind lately.Thanks for reading.Talk to you guys later.
8-27-05 I don't even know where to start today. Lets see, I have scheduled my final pre-op labs to be done on Sept 9th. My early birthday present to me. Once the labs and x-ray are done. I'll just be waiting ofr my date to come. I have lost a total of 25pds, and the surgeon wants me to try and lose another five. I have alittle over 3wks to do this. Remember me telling you guys about my car accident? Well, by next week they should have paid off the car.I want all of this stuff settled before my surgery. Any who- besides that I'm just preparing myself for my big day. I have my prtein shakes, sf jello,sf popsicles,broth and my water of course. I think the only stage I am not going to like is the pureed stage. Can't I just puree it in my mouth while I'm chewing? LOL. Maybe I'll have to do baby food or something? I don't know. This is something that I have to ask my doctor about I guess. I have a great calm about me regarding the surgery. I am not scared , or anxious any more. I am readily accepting tje changes that are going to take place in my body. Can I go shopping now? I don't want any clothes falling off!!!!LOL. Honestly though I am ready, I just need to find myself an angel, or hope and angel finds me. If I don't it will be ok, I know I will still have the support from all of my new family here at OH. And my Baf family.Yup,Yup, thats right!!!!!!!!!Until next time. Yall take care ok.
9-07-05 Well, there is not that much going on here as of lately. I am just preparing for the rest of my pre-ops. This friday will be the last of them. Then it is just time to wait for my surgery date. My surgeon does not require any type of liquid fast before surgery but, I decided to put myself on one. It has been a few days and itt has not been all that bad. I have been having a prtein shake for breakfast,broth and jello for lunch, and protein for dinner. And of course at least 64 oz of water. Oh yeah, I have been having water melon. I know that this is not liquid but, as soon as you put it in your mouth that is what it turns into.LOL. I will see how long I can do this. I am going to try and keep it up until my surgery. I'll keep youguys posted on this matter. I mean, since I will have to do this as a new post-op. Maybe about a week or two ago I had some kind of break down or something. I was eating like there was no tomorrow. I know, I know. I really didnt do all that bad, I was just eating alot. Everything was tasting real good. Any way, an Angel still has not found me yet. All of the reality of this is really starting to hit me. I am really going to do this. My quality of life is improving. And of course I'll be finer. whoo hoo................. I'll let you guys know what happens after my pre-ops.Later
9-09-05Today I went and had the final pre-op labs done today. All seemingly went very well. I just have to wait to get the results of the labs. Tomorrow is my birthday. A few of my friends and I are going to a murder mystery dinner show. I've been to one before and it was alot of fun. I hope this one will be great also. I have ben sticking to the liquid diet except for today and tomorrow. You know since it is my birthday weekend and all. I get to be little spoiled and I get to have my re-birthday this month too. So, i guess I will be the spoiled one for this month. HaHa. You guys take care. Later
9-16-05 I am now oficially 1 week pre-op. By this time next week I will be out of surgery, out of the recovery room and in my room. I just recieved a phone call from my surgeons office confirming everything.OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is the only way that I can describe this feeling that I am having right ow. I'm still very confident in my decision. I think that I am just starting to get a little anxious right now. According to the surgeons staff I will only be in the hospital for one night, unless there are any complications..Everyone keeps asking me if I am nervous. I'm so not nervous. This is one of the best things that I can do for myself. I'm just a little scattered right now. Last weekend was my birthday and it was cool. We did not go where I had originally planned See I wanted to go to the murder mystery dinner theater and I was the one planning it. I was going to charge everyones tickets but, I had a bad experience doing that before. I got burnt once, never again. So no one could get it together and I just decided to go get a good dinner and hang out with my boo. That was real nice.He made me feel really special. So next week Ibefore surgery I will let you guys know what is going on. Take care.
9-22-05This is the day before the BIG day. I am still relatively calm at this moment. There are some people that I would like to thank you to.To my angels, God has blessed me with two wonderful people Diva in training and n Joi n Life. Thank you sooo much. You guys just don't know. Tomekia & Ms.Retha much luv to ya girls. Willby, you know we got's jokes. To my BAF family and my SMO family. Thank you for all of the encouragement, support,words of wisdom and friendship. I have learned so much from you all. Thanks for taking the time to care. I know there are names that I have forgotten but, please don't blame it on my heart.This has been an experience that I have enjoyed thus far, and I hope that it only gets better from here. I'll see you guys on the losing side.
10-01-05 I am now a official loser. As of today I am 8 days post-op. I feel great. God is good. I have not encountered any complications at all. I have been able to get all of my fluids in, and I have been doing my walking. I go see the doctor this coming friday for a two week follow-up.Let me tell you a bit about my hospital experience. I arrived at the hospital at 5:45am. As soon as I checked in I was told to come on in. I was shown my room and given my wonderful hospital attire. I went to weigh in and then came back to my room to go over questions with the staff. I felt like I spoke to about ten different people. Everyone asked pretty much the same questions over and over again. While all of this was taking place, they were trying to start my IV. I proved to be a challenging patient. But once they got the vein the anastheologist pushed something into my IV that took me straight to lala land. My boyfriend and my mother said the heard me laughing all the way down the hall.I remember getting into the operating room and them asking me if I could move onto the operating table. I remember doing this and then I woke up in recovery. The first thing I remember doing was reaching down and touching my stomach. The nurse must have seen me because she came over and said "honey, the surgery was done laproscopic and you are doing great" Then I went in and out for a while, then I felt my bed rolling. I looked up and was in my room. The nurses were talking to me(I don't know why because I did not know what they were talking about, and did not really care at that time.) I was still very groggy. Then my mom and boyfriend were allowed to come and see me.They were there for a while, and then they told me they were leaving for the evening. I did not want them too, but I would not have known any way. I woke up about 1am Sat morning because my back felt like it was on fire. Now, I do remember the nurse telling me which button was the call button(lol) So, I called so someone could help me get out of bed since I did have pressure cuffs on my calves, a catherder, and an IV. So, I was a little tangled up. The nurse came and we walked together for about 30minutes. I went back to bed an was woke again about two hours later. You know they never let you sleep in there. They had to chek blood pressure,temp, draw labs. When I finally decided to get up for the day, I was nauseated, and a little light headed. They gave me medication for this and instantly felt better. Shortly after I was taken for a Upper GI. Now, that was nasty, I'm glad I only had to take two sips of the contrast. Once back in my room the nurse came to my room and helped me take a shower. I felt so much better after that especially since Aunt Flow decided to come a day before surgery. So after that I went walking around the nurses station for a while. After taking a short nap. I woke up to find a tray of broth and juice, and jello. I was only able to consume a few sips.So then I decided to go walking again. This time for a little longer. By now they had decided to take out the IV, and cath. They had also given me some oral liquid pain medication, which made me feel alot better. In between all of this I had seen the doctor and the nutrionist. They saw that everytime they came looking for me I was gone, they had to grab me from the halls. Everything was well with me so they decided I was able to go home. All I had to do was to urinate in the toilet. They wanted to make sure there was no blockage. That went well, thry gave me my presciptions and I was off and running. The first few days I was really sore, but I managed with my handy dandy pain medication which I think I only took the first two days home. I have been walking at least 30mins a day and following my plan. I intend to work this tool to the fullest. Each day has gotten a little easier for me. I still have soreness in my abdomen, which is alot better than it was at first.I am learning the new me one step at a time. Take care until next time
10-7-05 Today was my two week follow up appointment. All went well and I am now down 13pds total. I think this is great, I have never lost 13pds in such a small time frame. It took me longer to lose the weight pre-operatively. I am so happy that I had this surgery. The surgeon said that I look good and it does not look like I had majory surgery two weeks ago. I got the ok to go back to my water aerobics class. I can't wait to hit the pool next tuesday. I'm also going back to the gym. They don't want me to do too much though. I'll most likely just br on the treadmill and do some light weights.Nothing abdominal yet until 2-3months out. Gotta give my pouch some time to heal. This tuesday, I started on soft foods. It's going good, it's just different. I now know when I'm getting full. This is a totally different type of feeling. It feel kinda funny. I mean, for instance for breakfast I have 1 scrambled egg with cheese, I strip of bacon, and a half a piece of toast. That's it, and I'm full like forever. In between there I get in at least 20-30ozs of fluid. That's not too bad. You just have to find something that you really like.Then for lunch a few onces of tuna and crackers. Protein shake, water. Then for dinner abot 3ozs or so of salmon, veggies and maybe a spoon full of a starch. Then a little later some more protein shake. I think my nephew who is two eats more than his auntie does now.LOL. I'm just so blessed and thankful. Still no problems and for that I say thank you JESUS. My BMI has gone down from 62.3 to 57.3. So far so good. Everyday is better than the day before. Later guys.
10-14-05Three weeks ago today......................I am doing well. Still can't believe I did it. Thing's are going well for me. I did have my first vomiting experience. Purely my own fault. You know sometimes we like to test the new us.I was eating my dinner of a half of a bean and cheese burrito. I only had one more bite but, no more room. I knew that I was already full, but since I only had one more bite to go I figured I'd eat it anyway. As soon as it was down, I felt like I had the worse heartburn. I kept burping and it kinda felt like if I burped too hard it would just come up. It was really uncomfortable. So I figured I would walk it off. Wrong that did not help. So I just gave it up and it felt sooooo much better after doing so. So the lesson learned...............STOP eating at the first sign that you are full. It was not all the bad, but I do not wish to do it again..Besides that things are fine. I have ben doing alot lately. I have never been too much of a homebody, so almost everyday I go somewhere. The other day I went up to my job to visit the ladies at the offfice. They said that they could already see a big change in me. To myself I still look the same.. They were just kinda in awe. So that made me feel pretty good. I can only image their reaction when I go back to work in 3wks. Some of my clothes are already starting to fit loose. I am lovin it. Cant wait until I am able to go for my first round of shopping.Later.
10-23-05 Boy does time fly. It has been a month ago since my surgery. It really does not feel like it has been that long already. I have not weighed myself since my last docotrs appointment and I probably won't until I see him again. I just dont want the scale to become an obsession of mine. As long as I can tell the difference in the way I feel and in my clothes I figure all is well. I should be on full foods next week. This should be interesting. It's just a mind thing. You figure if you cut a bean burrito in half, you could eat the whole thing. Not!!!!!!!!!!!! At least this has proven true for myself. Sometimes I find myself asking why did I take that last bite? I am so uncomfortable now. So I am in the learning process of my pouch. My eyes are ALOT bigger than my stomach. However I am figuring it all out one day at a time. But as I start to eat regular foods all the time it will become easier for me. I still have no complaints at all. This is what I chose to do, and I am loving every minute of it. Everyday comes with a new discovery of self. It's like wow I just did that without huffing and puffing or dang, I bent over how far? I feel like a little kid all again.Gotta go , see you guys in a few.
11-07-05Today was my official first day back at work. It went very well. It feels good to be back in a routine. I was just enjoying life way too much with the time that I had off.(lol) It felt like homecoming, then phone calls like crazy and everyone coming to see me. I did not tire out half way through the day or anything. I did kinda miss being at home for a minute but, I shortly got over that. Well I probably will continue to miss the sleeping in part. I also had a doctors appointment on friday. Everything went very well. The doctor was satisfied with my progress. Now my next hurdle is getting my butt back in the gym full swing. They gave me the go ahead for light weights, however I have to wait two more weeks before I can start any abdominal excercise. That's cool to me though. By the time I get back in the gym full swing I'll be ready to start back to the abd crunches or what not. The only thing that the doctor asked me to do was contact my pcp to get something for a upper respiratory infection. So I did that and I hope the medication is running it's course like it should be. They do not want me running the risk of getting pneumonia since the weather her is changing so much. I feel great, I feel as I look great. It's just kinda funny when you see someone you havent seen someone in a long time, they are like OMG. Look at you, what are you doing? I'm only down 44lbs, so I can imagine the shock when the weight loss becomes more evident. The trial and error thing is still going on with the eating. But this is something that I have expected. I feel like a new baby with this eating thing. It is getting better and easier for me though. I just try a little at a time especially since I am on full solids now. I went to my first restaurant outing . I did ok, just ate a little too fast. I think I may have forgotten to eat lunch and when the food made it to the table I was ready. Needless to say I had one of my episodes. Now I know. I have found a couple of protein shakes that I really like that I am sticking to. I have also gotten some different tips from some different people. I'm suppossed to be getting in 70grms of protein in a day. I'm not sure if I am completely there yet but I am working on it. Also I have started getting all of my fluids back in as well. Right now the only vitamins that I take are the kidddie flintstones. In two weeks I start the regular regimine. That's pretty much it for right now folks. Talk to you later.
11-20-05Hi guys. I have been back at work noe for two weeks. It feels good to be back. I also recently got a chance to transfer into a better position. I did not even know that the position was open. My manager and supevisior recommended me for it. That is a blessing. My supervisor told me that since I was tranforming my body that it would be good to transfer into a new position. I have accepted it, and I am really excited about it. But at the same time I hate to leave my department. They have really been a great group of supporters for me. I'm still on trial and error with eating. Most thing's I have done well with. There are a few things that I will just no longer touch with a ten foot pole. After feeling like you need to throw up for an hour, does not sit well with me. I'm still scared of bread(lol). I'll try it again one day. This should be a very interesting week since we have thanksgiving coming up. This is my first holiday since surgery so we'll see. I'll probably eat small bites through out the day. I wil let you guys know how that turns out next week. My wateraerobics class is going good. I was a little sore after the first day but now I am fine. I thought I was gonna pass out at the gym, but I am now over that. It just really feels good to get back to the normalicy of life. I weighed myself this weekend and was a little frustrated. But I blame that on my monthly friend. I know I am doing all the things that I should be doing so I'll just keep doing my thang. I'm also working on ways to increase my fluid intake. I started off great, I just dont know what happened. It's kinda like I feel like it is a chore now. I use to just chug a bottle down in a few minutes. Now it takes me half the morning. This is a work in progress. Hey what happened to the ability to burp? Nobody never told me about this part. I can do those little baby burps, but I miss the burps from the toes.Oh well I'll get over that too, I am regaining my life back so that is what counts the most.
12-31-05 Wow today is the last day of this year. What a year this has been for me. I did not even realize I have really been away from the board like I have.There have been so many different things going on. Thanksgiving was very good to me. I ate my normal serving size.It did not really bother me that I was not able to "throw down"" like I use to be able to. I just had maybe a spoonful of most of the stuff and Iwas content with that. Christmas was the same way. I can say that I survived my first holiday season as a post op. Now I am not gonna say I did everything by the book on those 2 days.......but guess what? I did get my protein shakes in. I have gotten it back together with the fluid intake but, I'd like to do a little more. I have been going to the water aerobics classes, but I have not done as good with the gym. Although I have been getting in there more frequently these days. Everyone keps asking me how much weight I have lost thus far. I actually do not weigh myself that often but people still ask. I go back to the surgeons at the end of januaary. That is where and when I will weigh myself. I know the weught and inches are coming off nicely. I can do little things that I could not do before. I can now cross my legs.yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm loving that. And Ithink my shoes are starting to be a little big. I've given away some of my clothes already. And I have also bought a few. My pants that I wore pre-op were just kinda there.....so I had to give them up .My steps are also alot lighter these days. Walking up the stairs is alot easier too. I am not huffing and pufffing by the time I get to the top, and my heart does not feel like it is going to jump outof my chest.lol. I know I still have a long way to go,but thank GOD I am not where I use to be. I will do better with my updates from here on out. You guys take care and have a wonderful,safe,healthy new year.
1-19-06 Well here we are already mid january. I am feeling and lookin good. I am still a major work in progress , but I love the progress that I have seen thus far. I had a few things on my mind the other day. The major one was self sabatoge. I feel like sometimes I am my own worse enemy. It is sometimes easy to get a little relaxed and slip into some old habits. I have reconigez them and working on correcting this destructive behavior. I'm glad that I caught it early and noticed the things that I was beginning to do. I guess I just kinda got comfortable within myself. A quick dose of reality by myself was what I really needed to help myself out. As with my pouch I am still kinda learning and figuring some things out. I'm amazed by something new everyday. The other day I went shopping for some shoes. I could not believe it. I use to wear a 10 now I am in a size 9. WOW. So if it has only been a litle over 3 months I am now ondering what size I will end up in. The attention from men is also happening too. It's almost as everyday someone is trying to find out who I am. My boyfriend and I have been going throught some issues lately as well. I really at this point don't know what is going to happen there. I'm sure whatever it is we'll work throug it one way or another. The other day I was looking at my pictures from the hospital the day of surgery and looking at one I took about a week or so ago. The changes thus far are good. I can really see the difference in my face. I don't really otice it much anywhere else but, everybody else does. I'll post my pictures soon.
1-28-06 Ok well I just could not wait until my doctors appointment. I weighed myself today and I am down a whopping 92 pds. I can not believe it. I mean I can but my goodness I had no idea. ILately I had been feeling like I was not losing anything but wow ow exciting this is for me. I was able to weigh myself on a regular doctors office scale. Whoo hoo. I am just sitting here smiling. Gosh words just could not expalin right now how this feels. Ok ....deep breaths. I started off pre-op wearing a 30-32 now I am wearing a 22-24. And they are beginning to get too big in the waist.All my little rolls on my back are disappearing. lol. My arms are not sagging at all, my thighs on the other side are getting really flabby.ugh. But I can work with that. I have ben back in the gym on a regular basis now and I feel really, really good. I take my vitamins everyday and I am still doing 2 protein shakes a day. I am also finding with different foods that I can tolerate a few more things. There was alos something else that I wanted to fill you guys in on but, for the life of me I can not remember what iit is. Oh well......I'll save it for next time.Happy as a honey bee -92lbs
2-3-06 Lets see where do I begin? Ummmmmmm I had my first labs done today since my surgery. All of my levels were great. At leasr except my LDL level which was a little high. Now that I just don't understand, I will be working on it though. Besides that everything has been really well. I work in a nediacl facilty so I come into contact with alot of different people. I have been very fortunate to have met some people who are in the beginning stages of the weight loss process. It is very enlightening to be able to speak to them considering many of them have the same surgeon that I have had. I met a guy a couple of weeks ago who just had his surgery yesterday he is doing good and in good spirits today. I told him about the site and all of the wonderful people here and all of the information that is available here. So I hope that he gets a chance to get his questions answered here. You guys take until next time.
2-11-06 This has been a very busy week gor me. I have aslo had to deal with a few different issues as well. One has been dealing with issues of head hunger. I am trying to find idfferent ways of handling it. I am trying to make the best choices and decisions for evetythinh that I am putting into my mouth. It is so easy to pick up something you are really not suppossed to have as opposed to something that is good for you. I have gone out and gotten alot of healthy alternatives that have helped. And I have also increased my the amout of fluids that I am putting in on a daily basia. Where as I was doing 48-60, I am now averaging about a hundred or more onces a day. I start about 30mins to an hour after I have breakfast. And I sip all day. At least 60 ozs even before I go to lunch. That has seemed to keep me wanting to eat in between. Thank goodness for sugar free goodies. The second thing is my self image. I know that I am losing the weightbut, it is so hard to see it for yourself at times. Yes, my clothes fit different and people tell me all the time. But, when I look in the mirror aot of the times I see the girl who started out over 400pds. I still mentally see me looking like my old self. This is smething that I must work on. On the brighter side, I can now feel my clavicle. I can't see it yet but, I can definately feel it. So in the midst of it all there are changes going on with my body seems like almost every week.
3-10-06 Hey you guys. I know it has been a few weeks ince the last time that I posted. All has been going about the same as it was a few weeks ago. I am constantly dealing with head hunger. But it is not quite as bad as it has been. I found if I drink more fluids through out the day it reduces my urge to put food in my mouth. I can not believe that I am almost 6 months post -op, gosh it seems like only yesterday that I was going to start my pre-op testing. I do find that now I am able to eat a bigger quanity of food than I was in the beginning. It is still not alot of food compared to eating with my nephew who is 2. H e eats more food than I do. I finally noticed a tremendous change in my body last week. I have some clothes that are my size now and if I may say so myself I was looking good. I'm in a 22/24 and I think I am getting real close to a 18/20 the 22's are roomy now. Instead of giving alot f my stuff away some of the items I will be having them taken in. I mean don't get me wrong I still do shop as I will be doing this evening.(LOL) But some of my things I just can not see myself parting with. I am back in high heeled shoes now too. I am wearing them every chance I get. I have not weighed myself in a while but I hope by mt official 6 month date I will be 290 something or a little lower. I have not weighed 2 something since I dont even remember when. Everyday there is somehing new that I could not do the day before. I am excited and my goal for the end of summer is to be as close as I can be to about 190 or so. That will put me within about 20 punds of my goal weight. I'll just to keep working my tool and we'll see what will happen. Since I had been very open in regards to my surgery with my co-workers it is like every week everyone wants to know, where are you now? At times I get tired of the question, I know they are just asking but man sometimes ............I don't weigh my self very often at all. I think the last time I weighed was a few months ago. I see some of the physical changes and my clothes fit wayyyyyyyy different than they use to. The ones that I can still manage to get away with.I can feel it and see it so I am not tripping. I'll update the weight loss hopefully by the end of the month. So I will keep you guys posted.
3-25-06 Well I have made it to the six month mark. Man has life changed in ways that I could never even imagine before. I mean it is just really amazing to have accomlpished so much in such a little time. I mean man........................Everything is ever changing by leaps and bounds. Everyday I am thankful that I made this choice to have this life changing surgery. After weighing my options back and forth for a few years, I finally did it. My co-worker and I were talking the other day about the surgery. She had her surgery about a year or so before I did.My biggest question to her was do you have any regretts . Her answer was always no. I know I asked her this numerous times before I had my own surgery. So anyway as we were talking she asked me that question that I had been asking her for so long. My reply to the same question was NO. This is the best thing that I could have done. :). I mean don't get me wrong, I know there are those who have had complications but I am thankful that I did not have any. I will be seeingthe surgeon in two weeks for a 6mo follow up. I will also be adding some new pctures to my picture trail so you guys can see the changes for yourself. It is utterly amazing. I believe every so often there are things that I do now that I could not do before. I can stay sitting in a chair and pick something off of the floor without having to stand up bend over and then pick it up. Ummmm I know there are others but they kinda escape me at this point. :) Oh yeah I am for the first time ever getting ready for the revlon women walk here in Cali. It is a 3 mile walk.I am really excited about it. Now you know a year ago this would have never been happening. I am also trying yoga, and jump ropping these days. I have some skates that I am a little not friends with right now(LOL) but we are working on our relationship. :) Once I get the skates down my next purchase will be a bike. I am trying to work it ya'll. My energy level is off the chain. I can work a 12hr shift, go shopping and go to the gym and still be ready for me. I kinda feel like all that I missed out on when I was heavier I am doing now. Once I get down about 40-50 more pounds I think I will be ready for the amusement park. I still have a laundy list of things that I want to do. I need to write them out and set my sights on doing them all. Well ya'll I think I have said enough for today. Until next time you stay blessesd and encouraged. It may not seem to be going exactly the way that you would have intended but, believe me it will be going. :)
4-21-06 I hope that every one had a wonderful easter holiday with their families. There is not really too much going on right now with me. I just felt it was time to update my page. It has been a minute. The revlon walk for women is next month that I will be walking in. I'm still very excited about it. I met a woman today who is getting ready to go through WLS within the next few months. She will be having the same surgeon that I had for mine. I love working in the department that I am in because I get to meet alot of people who are getting ready to go through what I have gone through. (I work in Radiology) We had a very pleasant conversation and we were just chatting away. I think that I would like to work in a bariatric office. ......Just a thought. Just taking the time to talk to someone else about their struggles and triumphs is very enlightening for me. I am also getting ready for a couple of trips this summer. I can't wait, I use to have this "fat girl" fear of flying. You know the having to buy 2 tickets. Now that is not really any of worries any more. I'll be going to 3 different places. I'll tell you more about that when the time comes. The situation with my boyfriend never resolved..........Life is good though. I have met a gentleman that is very near and dear to me. Awww what a great guy. I'm really happy that I met him. I wasnt looking for anyone he just kind feel intomy lap. You know sometimes it's like you ask GOD for something and we being in the flesh never want to wait. We want it right now. Well it's like another one of my prayers have been answered. You know the song he may not come when you want him, but he'll be there right on time. He's a on time God.........Yes he is. I'm just blessed that what has been put before me, my eyes have been open to recieve the blessings. With that said I'm gonna close here. Have a wonderful weekend.
4-28-06 Is it that me or is it time just moving very fast these days? I am now officially 7 months post-op. I am loving life to the fullest. Sometimes too full lol. I can't believe that I am close to year already. I showed one of my friends that I recently met some pics of the old me, and their response was uh that was you? I told him yes and all he could say was wow. He was really astonished at the difference in my appearance. (I swear I am gonna post pics soon) I was looking at a side view picture and was like whoa myself. I even found this picture of my sitting from a side profile and it lookeed like a I had a mountain on my lap. Now I have a lap... Another little mini wow was that I can actually reach around and scratch my own back without instruments. I can reach all the spots now. :) I guess I never really thought about that until I realized that I do not ask anyone to do it for me any more. Also these days, I no longer have to turn side ways when going through a turn style. Let's see what else ummmmmmm. I am going to attempt to go to an amusement park the end of May. I'll keep you informed about that. I am not sure that I will be able to close the bar over my thighs. I'll try though. Who knows, I just may shock myself. I really enjoy riding those roller coasters. I just have not been able to do so for so many years now. Now I am going to start setting some new mini goals. My first one will be to join in on the protein train, cause I've been a little off lately. (sigh) The great thing is that I can jump right back on board. Ok I have a confession..................................I have turned into a shopaholic. Ok I said it, there it is in black and white. I am enjoying shopping these days. You name it shoes, jewelry, purses and clothes. Now that I am finding that I can now shop "off the rack" this excites me to no end. I can buy clothes out of department stores.........yes. Finally. I know that I need to slow down because I still have over 100pds to go but whew....I think I may be done for a while at least for the clothes part. Sorry I can't say the same thing for shoes. I am back in heels and I am loving it. I can wear them for a nice amount of time without taking them off the minute I sit down. I need to get my century card, I am down over 100pds now. Well until next time.
5-10-06 Well, another week has come and gone. Last week I had anothe one of those lilttle mini wow moments. Me and one of my best friends went shopping. We went into this store that I have always called the little chic store.My friend wears about a size 8-10. So we go into this store and they have a plus size . Now ya'll kow how these stores work. Ok so I decided to take a walk over there and see what they had in there. So I found a few things in there that I liked. I showed the outfits to my friend to see if she thought they would fit. We did the whole hold the clthes up to your ody test. So , I decided to try the items on. I was ready to hear some popping of the strings,a tear,a zipper that would not zip you know something...................Well to my suprise the clothes actually fit and they looked like something. I was very pleasantly suprised. I really felt like jumping up and down and running around or something.LOL. That was a really good feeling. My friend said that even thought I have lost alot of weight, I still in some ways see myself as I once was not the way people see me now. I just went through my picture trail with one of our new employess and he was like man...... We were talking about the surgery because one of my other co-workers is getting ready to start her own journey so I was sharing mine. All I know and all I can say is that GOD is good, all the time. If you happen to be reading this and you are a pre-op, please be encouraged and press towards your goal.
5-26-06 Hey guys, it has been a few weeks since I last up dated my profile, so I figured this would be a good time to do so. I have really been recieving alot of really nice messages from alot of people here. Thank you all so much Sometimes those little messages of encouragement make you want to push on towards making your goal. I was reading one the other day and it got me all teary eyed........My came in today and see me. The guy I had talked about previously who was then pre-op. He is looking so good. The excitement and the smiles on his face tell the whole story. He has lost almost 100lbs yeah, way to go Jess.Some new things that I have noticed recently is that my cushions from everywhere are leaving. I was leaning on something and was like, um I can feel my bones , this is new and kinda strange. My collar bone is starting to become more prominant, that little bone on the side of my wrist is poking out and my, um gos how do you say this my breast are almost completley deflated. LOL. Now that was the one thing that could have stayed. My clothes shopping habit has died down alot. But on the other hand my shoe shopping is still going strong. I am loving the wedge heels some of them feel like flats.I took my friend with me to water aerobics and she had a ball. She had been promising since before I was pre-op that she'd go with me. She told me dang girl I was in there sweating. I'm gonna try and drag her off to the gym this evening too. I do not know how that is going to work out but, we'll see. If she doesnt go I am still going anyway, I love friday evenings at the gym. It is nice quiet and empty, they way I like it. :) Not that it bothers me if I go alone. I just have to keep my eyes on my goal. Wanna hear something funny?..............................Ok. The other day I had a clothes shopping relapse(well almost) I was in the store to buy a bra (Yall know they are deflating) any who, so I go in the store and all this other stuff started catching my eye. So I got off track and started picking stuff up after I had the bra. I wanted to buy s few things. My friend forgot that I told her not to let me buy anything for a while. It wa like all of a sudden it clicked in her brain. She took my arm and pulled me out of the store. Did ya'll hear me she pulled me out of the store. I was trying to pull back but I could not get away from her. I could not believe that she was able to do that to me. That was a strange wow moment. With all that said, I wish you all a safe and wonderful 3 day weekend. Be careful out there. See you guys soon.
6-12-06 Ok I've gotta get better at this.I just wanted to share something with you guys that I believe that I never told yall before. hen I orginally started looking toward having wls I was really unsure of what procedure I wanted to have done. After much thought and angush about it,I decided that I wanted to have the lap band.My reasoning being is that I did not a. want to be cutted(Iknow) and gutted. B. I did not want my anatomy rerouted. So I put in for the approval for the insurance company. I work for a medical group so I can pull up my own referrals. So anyway I get the approval stating that it had been approved. I was estatic. I called to schedule my appointment with the surgeon and was told by the office staff that the doctor did not perform that surgery. So I called my PCP , told her what happened. They put in another referral. This time it came back denied. I was like ok what in d hell is going on here. So they told me that I could appeal it if that is what I wanted to do.I was kinda shocked because some one who works for my company had just been approved. Go figuire that. So any who, I sumitted my letter and was told that I would have a respone within 15 days or so. So after waiting for what seemed like forever it finally arrived. Still DENIED. Ok by now I am really upset. So I was getting ready to do my second appeal letter. I really did not feel like fighting them. The first letter was a doozy. I just could not understand how one person could be approved and the other could not.Then I started thinking about having the surgery done in mexico and having it financed myself. Ding Dong reality struck for me. I honestly did not want to pay for a surgery that my insurance should truly cover. That's when I started really debating myself on the whole issue. I looked at other people that I know who had the surgery, then I had to take a look at my co-workers and some of the patients that come through here that have had the surgery. I started asking more and more questions in regards to lap rny. I must have printed out what must have been books of information for me to read. I was talking to anyone who would listen to me talk and or ask questions. When I found this site it was a godsend to me. Everyone I spoke to was willing to help me along and give me invaluable tidbits of information and support. I had not told my brother, my mother would burst out in trears eveytime I tried to talk to her about it. My closest friends did not really understand why I wanted to do this, they thought that I would die and have to keep having this surgery done., and then there was my Dr. who is really kinda against the surgery.So finally I knew that something had to be done because my weight just kept going up. At my very highest I had to be about 445 or so. So once again I asked for a referral to the RNY procedure. I knew of a doctor that I wanted to see. Everyone who went to him lovedhim. So the Dr. submitted a referral for me again the day I asked her for it. Me being nosey looked and saw that it was pending and a few hours later it had been approved. YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!I had not told any one except my then boy friend and a few co-workers about it. I had to first go to a seminar before even seeing the surgeon as they discussed the different types of surgeries they performed. A few weeks after that I had an appointment withthe surgeon. My co-worker who had him a yr before me told me that he was kinda dry and rass. But with me he was really cool, calm, and confident. Lawd when I stepped on the scale it read 410 I was like ok and my height is 5'8 damn.............I am Severly mordibly Obese(SMO). Will I even have the chance to have the RNY? My bmi was 62.3.You have to have a bmi of no greater than 50. They would rather do thr RNY open or the duodenal swith open. Neither of which I was too happy about. Once I discussed this with the surgeon he told me if I lost another 40lbs he'd do it,if not thenI'd have to find another surgeon. Why am I telling you all this now you may ask. It's just to let you know that even when things do not seem to go your way or they are movig g too slowly, do not give up. If you have made the choice to go this far, why stop now. I am happy with the decision that I have made for myself and would do it all over again in a heart beat. There has been no greater joy than to have your life back almost to normal again. I am a much happier, more out going person these days. I am thankful for the opportunity that was bestowed upon me even though I was kinda unsure of myself. You CAN and WILL do it too. Be blessed.
6-19-06 This month has been so busy to me. I am constantly on the go these days. There is no holding me back. My friends would enjoy it if I sloweddown a bit though. lol I just scheduled my appointment for my 9 mo follow p appt. I am kinda anxious to find out what the numbers on the scale say now. I am onw who does not get on the scale very often at all. I do not want to obssess about it too much. I can see it and feel it so, that is what matters most to me. I recently had the shakes the other day. At first I feeling a little funny and then my hands started shaking really bad. I had forgotten to eat and I have no idea when the last time I ate before that. So I stuck a piece of hard candy in mouth because I think my blood sugar level had dropped down kinda low. After I had the candy I was fine. I did get a bite to eat shortly there after. I usually always have something to snack on but that day nothing seemed to be going right and I did not bring anything. My lesson learned never be too busy not to bring yourself something to eat. My vacation is just around the corner, I can not wait to go. I wish that time was here already. I know when it gets here I will be wishing that it was just beginning.:) Besides that things have been moving along nicely. My co-worker who was looking into wls has decided to continue on th epath that she is on. She has been doing a great job on her own at losing her weight, so she is going to keep it up and see what happens. Well, I guess that is about it for now.Later
7-03-06 Happy 4th of July weekend. While most people are out celebrating this year, I have decide to come on in to work. Not because I can not be off but because I am getting ready to be off of work for 3 wks............yeah. Things for me has been going really well. However I think that I am in denial. Why? Well, it has been kinda hard for me to except me all the way. I started off wearing about a 6-7xl. Now, I am in a 1x and it is too big. It's funny though because I wanted to wear clothes that did not have an x behind them. So I am now in a size 18-20. I have not worn an 18-20 since I was a freshman in high school.. Gosh this feels great. I am hoping to be at a 14-16 by the end of the year. Last year at this time I could have only imagined what my life would be like now. Everyday I wake up thankful for having this surgery. Often times I find myself wondering will I ever truly ever be happy with my weight? I know that I have already lost alot of weight and that I have less weight to lose now than I did when i started this journey. These head trips are really a trip. It has gotten better but, they are still there. I'm working on them and they are getting beter. Futher more I should realize it to becasue men are on me like a bee is to honey. That has been one of the thing's that I am still trying to get adjusted to. This attention is sometimes a bit much for me. :) I can't saty that I do not enjoy the flattery but man.................. I always have dates these days. I'm always in constant motion. To steal a phrase from Mc Donalds I'm lovin it'. Until next time, you guys have a safe 4th tomorrow and I'll see you later.
7-14-06 It is finally a few days before my vacation. I am so ready to leave it is unbelievable. Work has been off the chain for about the last month. I am so glad that I put in for my vacation months ago and that it was approved. Because had I waited I am sure that it would have been denied. I am so excited to be getting on airplane after about 10 yrs. I can't wait!!!!!!!!! And then to top it off my best friend is going on vacation with me. Can we say girls gone wild(hehehe) I know that I will probably be more tired when I get back but, it will be worth it to me. I'll add pics to my picture trrail once I get back home and get settled back in. I have not packed yet but I plan on doing that this evening. The last 2 wks has bee really busy for me. The more the weight that comes off the more things I feel like doing. I am on a constant go most of the time . Pretty much the only time Iam stillis when I am slleep. lol. I have not even really had the chnace t o go on the boards like I use to. I'm gonna try and get a little more active there too. I mean this is the place where I found alot of support. At least I can offer the same to some one else. You guys have a good weekend, and I will let you know how things went when I was out on vacation.
Hey yall, I have made it back from my vacation. I had a wonderful time while I was gone. It was really great.I finally had the opportunity to put some pieces of the puzzle together after all these years. I have a brother a some sisters that I finally had a chance to meet. Let me tell you that it was amazing. I can't wait to go back and see them again. The flight was ok, except for some minor glitches in the mix. My best friend could not
