Donna H.

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Well, It has finally happened. In the past month I can no longer eat like a normal person. In fact I can rarely eat more than a few spoons of something before getting tight in my diaphragm, or a feeling that makes me think I will be throwing up.  So, I am finally learning to really watch what and how I eat, in a WHOLE new way.  And, of course the weight is now coming off much better.  I weigh about 41 pounds less than I did when I went on Optifast at the beginning of this journey. And I think that someday, I really will weigh under 200 pounds. A pair of pants that Emily helped me pick out less than a month ago, are pretty loose. She did not believe they were the same pants for a bit last night.  I told her they may be a bit stretched because they are stretchy and were not straight out of the washer, but she was still incredulous about how much looser they look.

My ticker changed on the wrong page, so it reads today info on a different entry!  OH WELL, I will fix it, when I figure that out,

Well, things seem to be slowing down some for me the past two months, in the weight loss department. But I have had so many issues to deal with, superficial blood clot, on coumadin, and issues with my baby girl... that I have not spent any time at all exercising or caring for myself to speak of.  I am intending to do better, and to make it back to OH for support and help!

So much turmoil and stress has been ahppening at home. After Em's adoption, she started having some significant emoitional problems, but would not let me know what was really troubling her or how to help her. Today she is in a Psych unit at a Children's hospital. I am not looking for excuses, but, I suppose part of the reason I have only lost a couple of pounds in the past month at that I do not yet know how to deal with stress without grazing.
But I have now lost a total of 30 pounds.  So, that is a GOOD thing!  I rarely have troulbe eating anything, and still have no true clues as to fullness, except that I hiccup if I eat too fast, or if I am nearing fullness, from what I can tell. And, occassionally, I seem to have referred shoulder pain, when my stomach seems too be too sensitive.  It is best if I don't try ot eat much.  Bottom line I am eating less than I used to, losing very slowly, and hope to be losing more soon.

Well, I did not know until I went through it, of course, but the first fill can be a pain.. literally.  Not excruciating, but the first time they try to find that port, and have to stick the needle into the area, not knowing exactly how it will feel when they hit the right spot was not all that pleasant.  I have lost only about 10 pounds since surgery, but the staff all seemed to think that was about right for four-five weeks after surgery.  And, if the estimates are correct in the literature it is indeed 2 pounds a week, after all. It is just that the first week looked like 5 pounds lost, so I must have been dehydrated.
I cannot wait though to see if I feel a little less hungry in the evening, now that my band has a bit of fluid in it.  here's hoping for the best!

Went to the doctor today, and found that according to their team, I was a textbook demonstration of a perfect surgery placement of the lap-band, and am right on target.  The doctor seemed pleased with my weight loss for one week post-op.  It is a tiny bit frightening to be dong "so well", as I fear that might mean that when I am not donig so well, that I will get really angry at myself. dmittedly, I might need to get mad at myself if I mess up on what I am told to do, but I need to also rest in the Lord that He has all my life in the palm of His hand.  that he loves me regardless of how I may have messed up, or in how I have not.  I am exited to have a couple more days off from work this week, and a whole weekend to decide how to be dressed and ready for work on Monday! Plus I have to plan eating ahea of time! That will be a new thing for me, excpet of course for the Optifast days, which were not truly planned by me. 

My whole abdoemen is pretty sore, and Gastrographin is an experience, because from about 3 hours after the Post-op UGI for, if I have even thought that I felt a little gassy, I needed to run to the bathroom, so that I can get rid of this stuff from my system. One of the most important and helpful hints I got before surgery is to not pass gas off of the toilet when you have had gastrographin. I am so grateful to Anne for her tip!

I had a pretty significant sized hernia, ("lemon sized opening around espophagus, when it ought to have been about the size of a nickel") which Dr. Dan repaired. He expected me to feel a difference in the amount of reflux or heartburn I was having on the first post-op day, SO I know he thought it must have been a problem. But to tell the truth, I never much knew I had a hernia and did not have reflux very often.

Well, Onward and upward. Hopefully, each day will be better than the last.

Tomorrow is the big day. Just saw Dr. Dan, and have my "instructions" for how to respond to his questions tomorrow after surgery: I am walking, I am deep breathing, I know it is going to hurt.

I lost a total of 15 pounds according to their office on Optifast. The Lord is gracious, as I do not think I could take another day of feeling like I have been consuming baby formula or milk and smelling a little like sour milk. I am grateful, however to have lost this amount of weight in just one month. I keep thinking, I might never have to worry about that scale showing nearly 250 pounds again.  That is a big deal to me.

 

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I hope I can maintain this loss until surgery!

For a year or two, I have been carrying around with me a Card with advantages of weight loss listed, so that I could be encouraged to do better with my attempts. It occured to me, that I would like to track these to see if I do meet any of these mini-gals for myself after allowing myself to have WLS:
1. I'll be in good health & be able to enjoy life more.
2. I'll exercise or play sports without discomfort or 
    embarrassment.
3. I'll look better and be a smaller size.
4.  I'll be more attractive to others.
5.  I'll be happier when I look in mirror or see 
     pictures.
6. I'll get joy out of shopping for clothes & won't 
   mind spending the money or trying things on.
7. I'll look as pulled together on the outside as I feel
    on the inside.
8. I'll seek out fun activities (like joining in the 
  games @ Youth Camp) & summertime won't be such a 
   problem anymore.
9. I'll have energy at the end of the day.
10. Falling in love will have less complications 
    (ie. fear of being rejected because of weight).
11.  I'll be able to forget about judging food, 
    worrying over food, and enjoy life more. 
    (Sounds like this will get WORSE 4 a while not better)
12.  I'll look good in those mother of the bride 
     dresses I'll be wearing. 
13. I'll wear shorts and sleeveless tops if I want to,
     and not hide inside during August. 
14. I will stop worrying about how my girls would not 
     like to be seen with me in public!
Suggestions for fun goals would be appreciated!

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