Lasha L.

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Sorry for being away for so long. So the last time I was here I was experiencing my first stall. Well I broke the stall and I am now weighting in at 285! I haven't been this small since High School (or so I assume). I am very proud of myself and i have a renewed confidence that I just didn't have before.I want to go out and do more thing, be more things, meet more people. 

I got fitted for a corset and I was fitted in a size 32! I was cinched so tight! I cannot imagine what it will be like when I am actually a 32 around the waist. I am a size 18/20 in pants right now. I really need new bras, BAD! I can see that I will need implants. My boobs have always been so large. Now they are almost deflated. They are like water in my bra cups. I'm looking forward to my new body though. I am having a slight bit of Dysmorphia. I see myself as I am in the mirror, but I also underestimate how small I have become. I figure that I am going to take up more room than I really do. I am sure that I will always have that outlook though. At least I won't be one of those girls that throws herself around without a care. I hate those girls.

I've hit my first wall. My lowest so far has been 315 and now not only have I stalled, but now I am 320 which is no bueno! I hear that this is normal, but I still feel that irrational fear that I am going to regain all that I have lost. I get to go back into the gym starting tomorrow, so I am excited about that. Maybe it will kickstart things again. My energy levels are back up, so I am excited.

I worry that I am not doing things right. I am in the puree stage and it just isn't working for me especially with the fruits and vegetable restrictions. My mind isn't alowing me to get past mushy meat in a cup. I am going to remail positive though. I know that I can do this. I have no other choice.

I ate REAL food today (been on liquids for the last 30-45 days)!!! One scrambled egg with cheese. It was so tiny, but now I'm feeling full and with it being all protein I am extremely happy that I was able to do it. Later, one piece of chopped chicken and for dinner.. One piece of tilapia.   This is going to work!  

I am losing about 2lbs per day. I haven't even started exercising already. I guess that is the power of protein. At this rate, come Vegas in March I will be down over 100 lbs. 

My staples are overly sensitive today, which sucks ass, but I'm getting all my fluids in so YAY!

So it has been many many years since I had my LapBand Surgery. Long story short I failed at it! I knew that I should have had Gastric Bypass originally, but becasue my daughter was barely a year old and I didn't accept blood transfusions and my surgeon was not comfortable performing the surgery without it, I chickened the fuck out and we chose LapBand. I should have known that I was in for it when after only 3 weeks I was back to eating whatever I wanted and only having to drink something in order to get it all down. I was such a fool.

So after a few years of trying to band tighter I started talking to my Surgeon about revising me to Gastric Bypass RNY. It was a year or more long, frustrating battle, but on January 15, 2014, almost 6 years later I am finally rejoining the loser's bench. 

I am back here because I need somewhere to journal my weight loss stuff and my LiveJournal is not the place for it.

I have updated my info so that it is more current, but kept the same avatar since I don't feel like changing it. Going to have to make some new friends though.

 

It's good to be back!!

I guess my body needed a rest becasue for the last 2 months I have been at a plateau of 318. A month before that I lost 8 lbs. As long as there isn"t a gain I will be fine, but I am cutting very close.

 

I am not eating right nor am I exercising and that is going to my downfall.

Ok I am on my sleep meds, which are loverly btw. I just wanted to touch base and let everyone know that all is well, I am @ home doing fine and that I had Lap Band instead of RNY. I'll explain more later...

 

::Smooches::

 Ok so guess who is a pussy? Yup.. me! Here I am bitching about losing my surgery date and I get a call to come into the office the other day and my dumb ass turns it down. I wasnt  sure if I lost enough weight and losing 12lbs off the protein shake diet is pretty difficult. Yes I am a cheater!.. I work the system and I was told one month so I took 8 days off but kept my calories severly low and added excercise.

 I'm the pillar of self control though let me just admit. For example, my Grams came to visit and she makes the best cherry cheesecake in the world!! I;m the only one that didnt have any. I can hardly believe it myself...Ok I'm lying.. I had 2 bites, but that was it. I SWEAR..0.o.

 So i'm back full force with the premium protein shake bidness..lol..with a vengance. The only thing that had better go down is my lbs. I swear if I lose anymore height (before surgery) I will scream. I know after the wight loss it is inevitable to lose height but I have plenty of platform and stilletto boots for that!

So is it my fault that my doctors office didnt measure my height in the beginning of this process? I've gone throught life thinking I am 5'6.. when In fact I am 5'3!!!!!! yes that 2.5 feet means a big fucking difference between my surgery date and getting my surgery. 12 more goddamn lbs people.. 12 more fucking lbs.

 

Now should we do this the right wey or the wrong wey? Yeah yeah I know.