2 yrs post op

Sep 12, 2012

 This blog is more for a personal reference to myself. I am 217lbs. My goal weight was 180 BUT i never got below 203lbs. :( I am consciouly trying to stay a float with my weight. I know my whole life I wanted gastric bypass well from when i was 16yrs old i wanted it. I came from a veryyyyyyyy weight conscienscious family even still to this VERY ANNOYING DAY i visited my grandma one of her first questions is, am i keeping my weight down. HATE THAT. 
    I fear eating. REALLY i do. I still feel like I dont know WHAT to eat, when to eat, and how much! Its like shouldnt we eat when we are hungry? BUt that is not the case for me because sometimes i THINK i am hungry but i am not. sometimes i am not hungry but i have NO energy, i am shaky, sleepy and unsteady walking.. My blood sugar bounces all over the place, making me go into low blood sugar fits, almost passing out, dizzy, shaky. I think i need to go BACK to see the nutritionist, get some guidelines set for my eating, talk about carbs, increase appetitie, protein in take, fat and CALORIES! I want to lose more weight still. I believe i can even after 2yrs. I havent exercised much but I want to start trying i guess I am scared. I am scared I will hurt my self, pull a muscle or be totally exhausted. I tried on a pair of jeans that fit snuggly at the peak of my weight loss and now i can barely button them. 
      In your brain being an over weight person you FEAR gaining all your weight back. I fear food, i fear eating thru this surgery. I know i snack because i really dont eat ALOT at meals. I work nights so I eat all thru the night because my body struggles to stay away, and have energy, My low blood sugar kicks in when i am tired. I drink coffee to stay away but that dehydrates me making my Blood pressure stay probably too low. I try to drink water but I only drink maybe 1 bottle or 2 at the most a day thats 40oz. Vitamins! Its very hard to take vitamins every 2 hrs. I have been trying to take them to work with me so that I can take them. I still TRY not to eat and drink at the same time. It still a struggle. I could try harder to chew my food up better. Eat more slowly, and listen to my body that when i am full to stop eating. I will call the nutritionist today so that I can meet with her next week or when she can get me in. I WILL NOT FAIL AT THIS SURGERY! I am gonna get back on track and get under 200lbs! I can do it, and once i reach my goal I will get some kind of plastic surgery :) that is what I want. 

I commonly eat:
Lean cuisine meals.
Raisin toast with butter
fruit snacks
coffee with sf creamers and equal
nilla wafers
peanut butter
nuts peanuts mixed
pizza
chicken
fries
ice cream sandwiches
pizza rolls
candy
diet or reg. pop maybe 2 amonth?
yogurt
beef bites
lunchables
sf cappucino
spagetti

I have been using an app myfitnesspal to track calories 1400 cals aday. but i have alot of changing i should do so my goal is to do that and add exercise at least 1 or 2 times aweek! I CAN DO IT!!

0 Comments