lexibelle
On Support or lack thereof
Sep 03, 2014
I'm not sure if my situation is unique or not, but even though surgery is only 15 days away I've told very few people about it. My husband knows, obviously, and so do my IL's but that's it. I've told my parents I'm having surgery to remove my galbladder and correct a hernia. I don't have any friends I hang out with in person, so no one to tell there. Also haven't said a word about any sort of surgery on Social Media to the friends I keep up with that way.
On the one hand, I'm perfectly fine with this decision. My mother and I have a tenuous relationship (at best), so I really don't feel comfortable divulging all of the details to her. She tends to be a 'know-it-all' and this is one time (outside of parenting) that I don't want her opinions or advice. Obviously if I tell her, I can't tell my dad - plus I really don't want to worry him unnecessarily. I haven't shared on social media because I feel like if I do, I"ll be under a microscope. There are so many misconceptions about WLS that I'm afraid if I'm a slow loser or even never get 'skinny' (which I likely won't - not with 160lbs to lose) there'd be unfair judgments. On the other hand, if I'm seen as losing weight the 'old fashioned way', I feel like the expectations will be less if that makes sense. I think if anyone asks outright, I'd probably tell the truth (privately) but don't yet feel comfortable having that public.
On the other hand - my support is currently limited to my husband, my MIL (to some degree) and online strangers on the WLS forums I've been lurking on for years. I feel kind of isolated and also sad that I'm not really able to share what's going on with other people in my life. This is a huge step in my life and I'd like more people involved, so-to-speak.
I don't know - maybe my feelings on the whole issue will change between now and surgery or after surgery. Right now I'm going with what I feel comfortable with, which is maintaining mostly radio silence outside of WLS communities and my blog which it would take a miracle for people to find (I think at least LOL).