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Last week I was pmsing and whiney and unhappy about my weight loss.  Low and behold the dam opened up and I have lost 6 lbs this week.  Every day when I step on the scale another pound is gone.  Wow what a great feeling and it certainly does appear that I will be one of those people who goes a couple of weeks without losing then drops a few pounds.  As of this morning I am down 47 lbs.  Yep that is FOURTY-SEVEN lbs in 11 weeks.  I had not been below 250 for a long time.  My next big milestone will be to get below 235.  I can not begin to tell you when I was there last.  Maybe 8 years ago when I did Weight Watchers online but I am not even sure about that.  244 feels good though.  Did another closet run this morning and discovered clothing I could not wear 2 weeks ago fit well now.  Clothing that was on the "maybe" side two weeks ago is now too big.  Clothing I had tossed into a pile because they were lose are now way too big.  I find myself crying often.  Not out of fear, frustration, or anything other than amazement.  This is one ride I am beginning to really enjoy.

Well I will be 10 weeks out tomorrow and I am now down 40 lbs.  For a brief instant I was down 41 on Saturday but no more.  I have lost 6 inches in my waist and I should be thrilled but losing a pound a week is not what I had in mind.  I really do not know what to think right now.  Yes I look better and every day I enjoy an NSV or two but the scale is killing me.  I know I should just put it away but then I am terrified I may start gaining weight.  I write down everything I eat and on a really really high day may hit 1100 calories but with excercise I should be having a calorie deficit of at least 1200-2000 calories a day.  Discouraged does not even begin to describe my feelings right now.  Every meal starts with protein then maybe a bite or two of veggie.    I have added in at least one protein shake a day and and am working again at raising my fluid intake.  I think I will meet with my family doctor also to see what advice she can offer.  I exercise a few times a week but once school finishes this week I will start that every day.  Oh well just a whine to start my week.

Ok I am going to just start asking the million dollar question.  What the hell happened to my weight loss?  I am down 35 lbs and yes I know I have never lost 35 lbs in 7 weeks before but when is the scale going to move again?  I have bounced all over the place mentally and had one really bad day but overall I just keep doing what I am doing and waiting.  Fortunately I read a lot on the boards so I know stalls are normal and I know that usually the weight starts to come off again but please this seems to be taking forever.   My NUT says just eat protein first and get my fluids in and it all will fall into place.  I consume about 1000 calories a day but I see lots of folks who can't or don't eat that much.  I am very careful and make sure I always get over 60 g of protein and usually closer to 100 g.  I have just started adding some fresh fruits and veggies to my diet and I am hopeful that it will allow me to cut the calories.  I have been working out on the eliptical which darn near kills me but it is not boring.  All I can say is stalls are a lot easier to deal with when they belong to someone else!
Ok now to the good things.  I have lost 5 inches in my waist.  I had to buy smaller bras and a lot of the clothes in my closet that I could not wear a month ago now fit.  Something is moving it is just not the scale.

Wow I have a hard time knowing where to start.  Got my approval, got my date, scrambled to make sure everything was covered at work and scheduled my 4 weeks off from work.  Seemed like forever but now it all seems a blur.  I had my surgery on April 6, 2010.  Johns Hopkins took great care of me and I just love Dr. S.  Woke up in a lot of pain and apparently hit the morphine button 230 times in 2.5 hours.  They doubled the dosage and life got a lot better.  After 2 nights in the hospital we went to the hotel, our home away from home, for the next few days.  My back hurt almost as much as my incisions and I could not sleep in the bed.  In hindsight I wish we had rented a recliner for the hotel but once we caught on and tried it was too much hassle for a short period of time.  Once the drain was removed on the 12th I hopped into the drivers seat and back to Virginia we went.  Other than a little tired the trip went fine.  Best part though was after the drain was gone I was abe to sleep in my bed.

The past couple of weeks have been amazing.  No pain meds needed once the drain was removed and I can not believe what I consider a meal now.  1.5-2 ounces of protein and I am stuffed.  Pureed foods have been a challenge but I have tried to keep it interesting by using a lot of flavors and eating a lot of fresh salmon.  One night I pureed some green beans.  Funny they do not taste much different pureed than normal.  I struggled with protein drinks big time.  After surgery they all made me gag.  I had purchased $50 of different ready to drink shakes but the smell just did me in.  2 weeks ago I discovered Inspire from bariatriceating.com.  Wow 30 grams of protein in 4 ounces that tastes pretty good.  I can handle that.  I did find when I was not getting my protein in I was more tired so I need to be aware of that.  

The best part so far is in 3.5 weeks I have lost 28 lbs.  OMG I have never lost a third of that in a month and it is the best feeling.  My clothes fit, well actually some are too big already, and I don't have the huge belly I had developed.  We are going to the beach this weekend and I tried on my swimsuit and it looks so much different on me now.  Yes I am still obese but I see a difference and that feels wonderful!  I can not wait to see where this journey leads me.  So far no real mourning of food.  Yes it was difficult sitting in a restuarant watching hubby eat the fresh bread they brought out but there are so many yummy protein foods out there that I can live without the bread.  I would love some fresh fruits or veggies but they are out for the moment.  All in good time. 

So after the trip to the mailbox today which left me feeling as if I won the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes because I got my letter of approval I have had time to think.  Of course my mind is racing.  Thinking about when is a good time for me to be off of work and what the doctors surgery schedule is.  How long before he can get me in?  How complicated is removing the VBLOC device and how will it hamper my recovery?  Anyway I can't wait until Monday when I can call my doctors office.  Patience...patience....I need to hang on just a little longer.

In September I really thought I would have a resolution by now.  My first request was denied by the insurance company because VSG is considered experimental.  I had expected this but I was still disapointed.  I am waiting for the doctors office to appeal.  I did not do well during the holidays and am now up to 286.  I need to start walking on the treadmill again.  I keep changing my expected surgery date.  I have gone from June 2009 to August 2009 to December 2009 to January 2010 and now I am hoping for March or April and thinking that may be optomistic.  I hate how I feel right now and I find everything so difficult to do.  I am not giving up on the VSG though.  I still feel it is the right surgery for me and thus it is worth fighting for. 

Let me start with where I have been then we shall see where I go from here.  January 2008 I heard a radio commercial about a clincial trial for weight loss.  I had never seriously considered weight loss surgery before but have battled my weight for years.  I had quit smoking the year before and my steady weight of 245-250 jumped to 270.  I called the number given and over the next 60 days did all I needed to qualify for Vbloc surgery.  The device was implanted in March of 2008.  The next few months I lost 10-15 lbs but then the device stopped helping me.  My weight began climbing to my now 280.  After 14 months and no weight loss I approached my study folks with the fact that I wanted to get a different weight loss procedure.  I felt as if I had failed VBLOC but in reality it failed me in some ways.  I had to keep reminding myself that this device was experimental and it was a tool that for me was not working.  I had decided that I wanted a lap-band because the VSG was not available in my area and my health insurance did not cover it.  I felt very presured to get a RNY but really that has never been a procedure I personally was confortable with.  After several visits I was basically told by the doctor that he and the Vbloc folks did not think the lapband would work and it would be more difficult to do a lapband after Vbloc.  At this point I was ready to give up and get an RNY.  My choices were limited because I had to have a surgeon familiar with Vbloc or have two surgeries.  One to remove vbloc and another for weight loss.    I went home and cried and thought.  I decided to find a surgeon who performed the VSG and had been part of the Vbloc program also.  I found my current doctor.  I met with him and felt a sense of hope but now we just have to figure out how to pay for all of this.  My insurance pays for weight loss surgery but considers the VSG to be experimental.  Lets see where this road leads me.  The surgeons office is checking with VBLOC to see how much they will pay for device removal.  I may have to pay the difference.  A lot will depend on how much that costs.  So here I sit..waiting.