Lillys_Mommy

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I had my first fill last friday and I'm having another and all I can think of is YIKES! My last fill was creepy to say the least. That needle is 5 INCHES LONG lol and we couldnt find my port :( so my doc had to stick me a ton of times. I walked out of there woozy and wanting to pass out. I'm such a pansy lol anyhow another tomorrow, but atleast i'm gettting it done b4 my surgeon deploys and that better then waiting 2 months....

I didnt realize how hard it was to get all the protien you need in you. I actually had to sit down and research which foods had the most protein and apparently instead of eating skimpy salads I really need to eat at least one good meat meal a day. Chicken, steak, shrimp are the winners it looks like. I didnt realize that eating the right things is sometimes more challanging then not eating the bad things. Forcing yourself to eat your protein is almost harder then restraining your self from the bad stuff. How weird, but I'm working on it. I'm kind of feeling a little in the dark. I havent weighted myself in a while. I know I'm losing bc people say they can tell and my jeansand undies are falling off my ass but I', not sure how much yet. I guess we'll see soon....

okay so i'm finally feeling better but i have to be honest i fee like ive been cheating. i couldnt handle ONLY liquid. so yogart and very soft stuff, but still cheating. i have a doc appt tomorrow. i have this silly worry that they are going to find out, even though i should tell, somehow by my stomach being stretched or something silly like that. i hope they do fills tomorrow though, but i hear they dont do fills on people for weeks.....

Okay this is my first post but I am 4 days post op. I'm being very whiney about this whole thing. I dont like feeling well, I wish I could have even the smallest thing to eat, like one soft scrambled egg, and I dont like being restricted. I did this for my health and I know 3 weeks from now I'll be back to normal and be happy again but the only way I can describe the whole process is punishment for your stomach. Is there anyone out there who is as cranky as I am? It doesnt help that the people around arent very considerate of my situation. My husband will walk right up to me and ask if he can go pick up take our, or sit next to me and eat 5 mini pumkin pies and lick his fingers. If he does that again I think I will cut his fingers OFF! I also wonder if anyone dreamt of food like I did or are torchered by food commercials? I dont even like the mcrib and i find myself thinking how yummy it might be. I feel like a totall pyscho head case fat ass lol excuse my language or negativity. Im also a little upset with myself because I missed my support group meeting tonight. I really needed some positive feed back and I wanted to bring up the idea of a facebook page for my support group. I figured it'd give us a more daily way to share our experiences instead of once a month. Well i guess we'll see how everything goes in the next few weeks. Incase your wondering my starting out wieght is 285 and my goal is either to be 150lbs or a size 14.....