linabear2010

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

You'd think by the title, I'm talking about weightloss as if I've already undergone the procedure and am on the loser's bench...but NO!  I'm referring to my Options nutritional counseling classes that Kaiser is having me attend.  Today will be class 7 of the required 12.  So well on my way to completing the classes.  Classes aren't that bad...they teach us everything from counting calories, how to excercise, even what is to be expected when and if we get the procedure we are asking for.  At this point, I think I'm wanting the sleeve.  But we'll see.  Looking forward to finishing up these classes and meeting w/ the actual surgeon.  Was told he has the final word.  So we'll see.  I know I still have a while to go before I can actual conceive getting approved, much less scheduing my surgery....but I"m patient.  I have this vision of myself at the end of this whole process....can picture me wearing a sexy outfit, tight jeans and a nice blouse...lol, but most importantly....It's the HUGE SMILE I'm wearing that shines through....I can see myself standing tall, CONFIDENT...like there is no stopping me.  I'm smiling now, because I know that that very girl I see is within me, and she's clawing her way out, one day at a time, one layer at a time. Can't wait!

K...this is going to be nothing less than a venting session......so bare w/ me as I let out my frustrations....but seriously WTF!!!!!  So I told a few people about my WLS decision at work, some family, etc.  Now I'm feeling like a living organism being viewed diligently under a freakin microscope!  Scenario....I walk in this morning...someone brought cookies...so I grab some coffee and take 3 cookies....they're small I figure what the heck...I get stares from coworkers and then someONE has the nerve to say "oh, Carol, you're aren't serious about losing weight, honey...you're gonna need a lot more will power than that.." It also happened this past weekend....family had a BBQ, was eating a plate of food, chicken salad, rice, etc.....and my cousin makes a stooopid comment like, "you know you're not gonna be able to eat like the way you do when you get the surgery".....I'm like DUH! ...  UGGGHHHH!    Didn't these peope learn from their mommas or their Kindergarten teacher that famous rule of..."If you can't say something nice, shut the F up!"  I wonder if this is how its gonna be from now on...wondering if after I get the surgery, all eyes will be on me, seeing how I progress, or not progress....well really all I gotta say is "screw em!"...If I succeed or don't succeed, it isn't anybody's business but my own.  And I DO NOT HAVE TO MEASURE UP to ANYONE'S expectaions, but my own!"  K, I said my piece, Ima let it go now!  Thanks for listening.....Have a great day/week/month all! 

Had my first Options class, went pretty well.  Met some interesting people....enuff said on that!  Met our instructors: a registered dietician and a counselor (Lic. Family Therapist)  We focused on setting goals for ourselves. REALISTIC GOALS!  Wrote a few down, like drinking more water (yuck!)----figure I'd start small....one glass before each meal..... 3 glasses is not the recommended 8 but its better than zero!   Also discussed in the class:  PORTION SIZE....how we should really be eating off a 9 in plate....hmmm, always thought those were for dessert!  LOL 
So I have been trying to follow the guidelines.  Happy to report that I have found a new passion in the kitchen....steaming veggies!  My sister sold me (yes, sold me! can you believe that!) her steamer.  Anyhow, I began to steam broccoli, carrots and some weird looking baby cabbage looking things (found out they're called Brussel Sprouts)...flavor is amazing...never thought I'd enjoy veggies without covering them up w/ Ranch dressing or melted Cheddar cheese.   Looking forward to learning a lot more.  A bit of BAD NEWS though, found out through someone else's questions on how soon we should expect to possibly get approved; both the reg. dietician and counselor agreed it would possibly not be until next year  ...WOW, kind of a downer, but we'll see, in between time.....I'll keep going and keep doing.....1 DOWN ----11 TO GO! 

Some might think I'm a exaggerating a bit...but it's exciting news for me!  I just got the call from Kaiser saying I've been approved for their 12 week Options program, starting on March 8th.  I'm sure I'll be flipping out when/if I get approved for the actual surgery but for now I'm content w/ knowing I've been approved for the classes.  ONE STEP CLOSER!  Woooohooo!

This past weekend I was looking for baby pics of my oldest girl for a Yearbook dedication for her senior year, so I pulled out boxes and boxes of photos....as expected I began to look at all the photos, reminiscing.  But while looking though the piles of pics, it suddenly dawned on me,  most of the pics I had of my self were face pics. from my chest up.  I had the same smile, if you could even call it that, like a half smile.  Like "I'm not really liking this, right now, but I'll smile cuz you're supposed to smile" kinda thing.  And then I realized that the few I had of my body were candid shots taken "against my will"....well no one really tied me up and forced me to take pics, but what I mean is I wasn't "ready".  That sux.  Cuz at least when you know you're gonna be in a pic, you can hide behind someone, fade into the background, or grab a pillow, jacket, something to strategically place on your stomach to look "thinner", no not these....These were me in my glory, big lovely lady lumps in all the wrong places, side views w/ double and triple chins.  Very uncomfortable to look at.  And I thought I was bomb, thought what I had on was so "trendy", nothing trendy about big floral prints, moo-moo like fabrics.  Needless to say, I gathered all the pics and put em away where they belonged, in my dark closet on the highest shelf, out of reach, out of sight.  I can't wait to be able to take a photo and actually feel good about how I came out.  I'm tired of doing the "my space" shots where I lift my camera way above me and pose looking up so I can look thinner than I really am or have my child climb onto the couch and take a picture of me downward for the same effect.  I wanna be able to strike a pose, whenever wherever, not hide and actually smile cuz I wanna, not smile cuz I have to.  By the way, I did find great baby pics of my soon to be graduate.....all good!

Well here I am, brand spanking new to OH.  I am overwhelmed w/ emotion (excited, anxious, a lil scared of the unknown) to begin my journey.  I am a 37 yr old, single mom of 3 kids.  I have been overweight my entire life.  And like most of you have tried almost every type of diet imagineable, from acupuncture to drinking gross liquid shakes to starvation (in my deepest moments of frustration); you name it I've tried it.  Currently at 257 (my highest being 280 last year around springtime) and a BMI of 47, my doctor says I qualify for WLS without any conditions.  I guess I am blessed to report that I do not have high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.  But although I may not have any of these comorbidities - my back and knees hurt, my arms and legs have poor blood circulation causing pain, I have symptoms of sleep apnea (test results haven't come back yet) and I huff and puff even by walking 10 feet to the mailbox, sad huh!  Like most I'm sure, both sides of my family are infested w/ heart disease, diabetes and stroke....BOTTOMLINE I'm afraid!  I'm afraid to end up sick, or worse dead.  But after much research, discernment and PRAYING about it, I know I'm ready for this.  I have taken the first step in my decision to be a healthier, happier me!  And although I have been greeted with looks of disapproval, disappointment and even shock that I'm considering WLS, I know this is what I want for me!  So cheers to ALL wherever you may be in your journey!