Mandee

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As of today I am 8 days out and had my first post op appointment.  My staples are out and I am healing up nicely.  I was moved to Stage 2 Puree Diet and given some more vitamins and anti-gull stone meds.  My weight loss is going super and am now putting away my scale during the week and committing to a once a week weigh in.  I went shopping for some of the new items I can eat and am absolutely thrilled to be getting away from the sickening sweet pudding.

Then it was off to the salon for a ME Day.  Everyone needs these days, especially us moms because we rarely have "me" anything.  I got the full treatment.  Boys and girls, it was heaven.  If my weight loss surgery leads to a replacement addiction I believe I could become a spa junkie, I'm just sayin'.  I got my color, some new funky highlights, wax (yikes), manicure and pedicure.  I feel like a million bucks!  When my daughter came home this afternoon she looked at me said, "Why are you all dressed up?"  Since I was just wearing my comfy clothes, I am taking it as a snarky compliment. 

So tonight I had my first puree dinner.  I had a 1/4 cup of Grilled Haddock (mashed with a fork) and 1/4 cup of Mashed Potatoes.  Yum!  It took me 30 minutes to eat about 1/2 of each but that was enough for me.  Everything has stayed down well and I feel good.  Tomorrow I am going to try the Ricotta Bake I've been hearing so much about. 

I got my okay to return to work on Monday.  I am both sad to see my break end but happy to get back into my routine.  I just keeping telling myself the longer I wait the harder it will be to go back.  The shop owner called me right after my doctors appointment to make sure we were still on target.  That, at least, makes me feel good.  It's nice to be missed.

It was a great day and ready for many more!

Oh, and just to follow up on my last blog.  I took my cat to the vet and she really only had one kitten in there.  So she is doing great and scheduled to be spayed in 3 weeks. 

I realized today that I truly am a "bunny hugger".

I guess I always knew it.  I think over the years I've brought home 8 unplanned kittens.  You know how it happens, you're visiting a friend and their cat unexpectedly popped out a litter and you show up just in time for them to say "Yeah, take one."  I've adopted random dogs just because I road along to the animal shelter with someone.  I even brought home a salamander than I found in a warehouse that I used to work in.  So let's see, I have my Yorkie, Benny, my only dog currently.  I have three beautiful cats, Marley, Ruca and Sunny.  And a bird, but honestly, the bird and I have issues.

Now, I am a big pet responsibility advocate.  Me and Bob Barker could be bumpin' elbows at a Spay/Nueter rally.  However, I was a slacker and I admit it.  My two older cats are spayed, but my youngest, Sunny, hadn't been.  I didn't think she was old enough, and then when she was I foolishly thought since I hadn't noticed her going into heat yet it could wait.  Besides, she was always indoors, yadda yadda yadda.  All the excuses amounted to my baby girl becoming preggers.

So today she goes into labor and I am ready.  And I mean ready.  I got her nest all set up with fresh blankets, towels, a heating pad, mini kitty bottles and kitty formula just in case, sterile gloves, a basin for water.  Besides, the vets say that nature usually takes it course and it just happens as it should.  Well, it didn't and I am a big crying mess.

Sunny decides that she doesn't want to nest  She needs to be on my bed and she needs to be within 1/4 inch of me at all times.  So, ok, I strip my bed, line it with spare linens, towels, extra blankets and let her be cozy.  I watch all the signs and she is progressing normally.  Then her kitten came legs first and she struggled with it, but eventually it came out.  She did everything she was supposed to do (without me getting into yucky details), except the kitten wouldn't breath.  I tried everything, clearing his mouth, rubbing his chest, kitty CPR (I had the poor vet on the phone during her 4th of July, she probably wanted to shoot me), but there was nothing I could do.  I just balled my eyes out.  I have been through a lot in my life and yet, this really knocked me on my emotional ass.

Now my Sunny is sleeping.  I was worried that something was wrong but the Vet said to give her 24 hours because cats can delay their own labor (Which is something I tried to do during mine while proclaiming 'I am done.  I am not doing this.  Get me out of here!') and to wait 24 hours and see if she restarts.  If not, I'll bring her in for a scan and possible c-section, but she also said sometimes their may only be one kitten.

So to anyone reading this, I apologize for it being depressing and totally off topic, but I needed to vent it out.  I am going to put some Otis on the turn table, lay back  and have a good cry.

I finally feel a bit like myself again.  For the last few days I was a bloated nightmare.  Unable to sleep because of the discomfort last night, I'm pacing the house and whining to my yorkie who lovingly licked my face.  Somewhere around 3am I crashed and woke up at 7 feeling much better.  The problem is, I think my discharge stage 1 diet is too much.  Yeah, I can't believe I am saying that either.

My bariatric program has me on 3 protein shakes a day, plus three mini meals.  My mini meals can be 1/4- 1/2 cup of any of the following... 1) SF/FF Pudding 2) Strained Cream Soup 3) Light Yogurt 4) Broth w/ Protein Powder (yuck!) 5) Skim Milk.  Plus, between all of this I am supposed to get all my water in.

So with my old tummy, I was thinking I'd be starving.  But my pouch begs to differ.  This morning I had my first triumph which was eating an entire 1/2 cup of pudding.  Several hours later I managed to choke down all 8oz of Protein Shake.  I sucked on a SF Popsicle this afternoon and treated myself to some unsweetened ice tea.  Well now its approaching time for my second mini meal, which I predetermined would be yogurt, and I just don't want it.  But, if I wait too long, I'll be trying to get all my requirements in at the end of the day.  I am tired of beating myself up about it, I know I need to get all of my nutrition in, but I can only do what I can do.

Now, you'd think with my grouch of a pouch I'd be totally anti-food.  So, I take my first trip to the grocery store since before my surgery.  Holy Crap!  Smells... Smells... Smells...  Walking past the bakery department I wanted to go total beastie and rip my teeth into one of the fresh loafs of marble rye.  Then my daughter is picking up her snack crackers and suddenly cheese nips (something I never cared much for) were taunting me.  I rushed through, got what I needed, made sure to grab some SF Popsicles so I could put something in my mouth that wasn't liquid or mush.  Now I know I could not physically eat those things.  And I am not having the infamous 'buyer's remorse'.  I am totally cool with my choices, but my brain has not caught up with my body and vice versa.

I am sure once everything falls into sync I will adjust.  But, for my own peace of mind, I am avoiding all Fourth of July BBQs.  Yep, I am risky ridicule and hurt feelings from family to preserve my peace of mind.  Sure, I'll come out for the fireworks, but ultimately I just need more time.  Fortunately, I got my "I am still healing" ticket which can probably get me out of jail free this time.

Wishing anyone who happens upon my blog a very happy 4th!

It has never felt so good to be back in my own PJs!  Not that my hospital stay wasn't good.  It was way above my expectations.  But, there is nothing like the creature comforts of being home.  So, here I am 2 days post op, officially on the loser's bench and loving it!

On Tuesday morning my mom and my sister took me to Highland Hospital.  I was scheduled to arrive at 10:30 am with surgery at 12:30.  They took me in to my little "pre-surgery cubby hole" where I was told to remove all clothes, jewelry etc and don the very fashionable hospital gown and booties.  The staff nurse poked me with needles, asked me lots of question (mostly my name, birth date and what procedure I was having done), and began introducing everyone who would be taking part in my internal rearrangement.  A very nice hospital volunteer stopped in, shared her experience with the Lap Band surgery and brought my family beverages.  This was sweet and but also kind of cruel since I had been unable to drink anything all morning.  Coffee smells so much better when you aren't allowed to have any.  Then my anesthesiologist came in and was very pleasant, but concerned about my nose ring.  Ugh, so I tried to remove it, but it was stuck and I didn't much want to rip it out of my head.  So he agreed to let me keep it. 

Then before I knew it they were wheeling me off to the operating room.  So here's what I remember about the procedure.  The anesthesiologist put a little oxygen mask over my mouth...  And then we were in the recovery room and  he was saying "Everything went well."  So I lost a few hours, gained a few staples, and awoke to soreness.  I faded in and out of consciousness and somehow got to my room where my mom and sister were waiting for me.  The first thing I noticed where flowers, and yeah, I am a total girl.  I ooed and ahhed over my little boutique and then noticed I had the cutest little black stuffed kitty cat sitting next to them.  It was sweet.  Then the nurse came in and gave me morphine.  I remember my family hugging me goodbye and then waking up sometime later as my vitals were checked. 

This was the pattern of my first night.  Sleep, woken up for vitals, morphine, sleep, woken up by random noise in the hall, sleep, more vitals, walk around the nurses station, morphine, vitals, sleep...and so on.  I had a semi private room and my neighbor had the same procedure, but seemed to be up a lot more than I the first night.  So I think I got pretty lucky in terms of general comfort.  I had a lot of soreness and pressure, but nothing unbearable.

The next day it was more walking and napping.  Finally around noon I was given my first water to sip.  Let me just say, this was water of the gods.  Never had anything been so refreshing.  Even my little baby sips were filled with joy.  Over 24 hours with zero water was torture.  Later that evening they hooked me up with pudding and crystal light.  I couldn't eat much, but I tried.  I did much better with my yogurt this morning.  Ate 1/2 of it...woohoo!

This morning I was feeling so much better.  I was doing laps around the nurse's station, lost the IV, and was able to put on my own clothes.  I was discharged around noon and on my way. 

Just to note, the best words of advice I received pre-op was to bring a pillow to hold against my stomach on the drive home.  SO TRUE.  I am grateful for that wisdom, because I held tight to my pillow and it really eased the pressure over bumps and pot holes (thank you NY). 

I think I brought way too much to the hospital also.  So if you are reading this and haven't gone in for surgery yet, remember... less is more.  The first day I was out of it.  The laptop, the books, the magazines, I think I read a chapter in my book, never even opened the lap top case and why did I bring three different outfits??  The most important thing I brought was my Beary Manilow, which is my cuddle bear, and he made everything better.  Some how everything feels better when you got something furry to cuddle up with.  My night nurse, who was awesome, decided we needed to name my new kitty Lola to go with Beary.  Yep, I am immature.  Yep, I am comfortable with that

So now I am home, all showered and cozy.  Been up walking and trying to get in my requirements for my liquid post op diet.  It takes me over an hour to drink a protein drink and it took almost as long to eat my strained cream of chicken soup earlier.  I feel like I am sipping and slurping pretty much constantly.  But, its ok.  I got this. 

Hoping the rest of my recovery smooth sailing!

At 5:00 this morning I awoke to the combination of my attention starved cat meowing at me and the horrid ding-ding-buzz from the cell phone alarm clock.  I wanted to put both of them on snooze, but then remembered that I had better get up to beat rush hour traffic into Rochester for my pre-admissions appointment.  First, let me just say, I  was dreading the scale.  Not that I've been binging, but I allowed myself the forbidden "last supper".  Sunday I feasted on my mom's lasagna, with bracciole and bread sticks.  It was total sin.  I don't have the pre-op liquid diet I hear so many people talk about, but I really wanted to be better behaved.  Anyways, I gained some weight, no one made mention of it one way or the other so I am assuming surgery will go as planned.  I am going to be a very good girl these remaining four days.  I figure at this point, and at this weight, I've pretty much had it all. 

They gave me a hospital wrist band which was kind of weird, and then took me back for the tests.  I agreed to be part of some "pollutant experiment" another department was doing on women of child bearing age who are having WLS.  So they took some extra vials of blood (a total of 8 vials), a pee sample and a measure of my waist.  I had my very first EKG, which wasn't nearly as eventful as I thought it should be.  Then I met the anesthesiologist who was wonderful.  She totally allayed all my neurotic fears of waking up mid surgery.

Then another nurse came in and gave me all my surgery instructions.  I have to note here that Highland Hospital has a great staff.  These people made me feel so relaxed.  They were kind, willing to answer all my questions and quick to smile.  I can understand why they are known as a center of excellence. 

When all was said and done it took only an hour and a half.  I was instructed to be on nothing but clear liquids all day on Monday and have absolutely nothing after midnight.   Kind of feels like being a gremlin.  The only thing that did bug me a little was mention that I might have to remove my nose ring.  I am going to fight that one.  I had to remove it once before and the hole closed within a day.  When I had it re-pierced they went through scar tissue and it hurt like crazy.  I can't for the life of me figure out why they'd want to remove it.  Its tiny.

Here's hoping these next four days fly by.  It's not that I'm in a hurry I just want to be on the other side of the surgery so I can stop worrying about it.  The fear is always 100 times worse than the reality, at least from me experience.  And, honestly, a bit of time off from work is very needed.  Sometimes 50 hours a week with gear head boys is enough to drive a girl crazy

I remember last year I took a road trip to pick up a friend from North Carolina.  On the way home we got stuck in this insane vehicular blood clot that took over an hour to get through.  That hour could have been days for how it felt.  An inch here, a foot, stop, another inch.  When traffic finally got moving again the rest of the trip back to NY just flew by.  That's how my journey to WLS has been thus far and never more so than today.

Back in September I made the decision to have surgery.  Like most of us, I had been on every diet imaginable and had become a yo-yo master.  Yet, being such a big change I spent a good chunk of time just researching as much as I could.  I had initially decided on having the Lap Band, but after hearing some horror stories both on here and from people I had met, I decided to have the bypass instead.  Anyway, I attended a seminar back in September and the same day quit smoking.  Literally quit, no weening down, no patch, no pills... pulled the last cigarette from the pack, smoked it, flicked the butt and was done.  It wasn't really the WLS that made me quit after 17 years, but it was the last push I needed.  In my head, why try to get healthy in one way and not in the other?  I both quit smoking (not a puff since) and attended the seminar on September 29th.  I was so excited and figured in a couple months I'd get the surgery and be on my way to a new, more fantastic, me.

And then I had my psyche evaluation...  I was confident that I was a perfect candidate and would just fly through this part of process.  Instead, the lack of smoking and years of destructive eating habits conspired together to cause a big weight gain which sent me spirally into a depression.  It was in the state of mind that I sat down to talk about how I couldn't stop eating and wanted to eat everything in sight and how miserable I was.  Therefore I was sentenced to therapy.  I was very pissed off about this, at the time.  In the end, I am so glad that I got help that I didn't even know I needed then.  My therapist helped me to be totally cognitive about my relationships with food, myself, society  and my past.  I saw patterns and life traps being played out that I never really put together.  I still see my therapist now and will continue to do so well after the surgery.  And when I had to redo my evaluation, I passed!

I also was required by my insurance to see a dietitian, 3 months of supervised nutrition, and a 5% weight loss.  Couple that with snow storm rescheduling, work issues, and me getting sick, it took until May to be completely finished, goals met and cleared for surgery.

9 Months after I attended the seminar I finally met my surgeon for our one-on-one.  Not only was the session brief, but immediately I was scheduled for my surgery date.  I was told throughout the process that it could be 6-8 weeks after seeing the surgeon before the actually surgery.  So I was shocked when I got scheduled for June 28th, 12 days from now.

Suddenly, it occurs to me, which is sad considering the length of time and work it took to get to this point, that 'Oh My God, I am having surgery!'  It's so weird, I knew it was going to happen, but just thought there would be more time to digest (pun intended) it.  More time to say my farewells to buffalo wings.  I am a big mix of scared, excited, and everything in between.  But, above all, I am ready.