My Mind/Body Connection is Busted

Jul 02, 2011

I finally feel a bit like myself again.  For the last few days I was a bloated nightmare.  Unable to sleep because of the discomfort last night, I'm pacing the house and whining to my yorkie who lovingly licked my face.  Somewhere around 3am I crashed and woke up at 7 feeling much better.  The problem is, I think my discharge stage 1 diet is too much.  Yeah, I can't believe I am saying that either.

My bariatric program has me on 3 protein shakes a day, plus three mini meals.  My mini meals can be 1/4- 1/2 cup of any of the following... 1) SF/FF Pudding 2) Strained Cream Soup 3) Light Yogurt 4) Broth w/ Protein Powder (yuck!) 5) Skim Milk.  Plus, between all of this I am supposed to get all my water in.

So with my old tummy, I was thinking I'd be starving.  But my pouch begs to differ.  This morning I had my first triumph which was eating an entire 1/2 cup of pudding.  Several hours later I managed to choke down all 8oz of Protein Shake.  I sucked on a SF Popsicle this afternoon and treated myself to some unsweetened ice tea.  Well now its approaching time for my second mini meal, which I predetermined would be yogurt, and I just don't want it.  But, if I wait too long, I'll be trying to get all my requirements in at the end of the day.  I am tired of beating myself up about it, I know I need to get all of my nutrition in, but I can only do what I can do.

Now, you'd think with my grouch of a pouch I'd be totally anti-food.  So, I take my first trip to the grocery store since before my surgery.  Holy Crap!  Smells... Smells... Smells...  Walking past the bakery department I wanted to go total beastie and rip my teeth into one of the fresh loafs of marble rye.  Then my daughter is picking up her snack crackers and suddenly cheese nips (something I never cared much for) were taunting me.  I rushed through, got what I needed, made sure to grab some SF Popsicles so I could put something in my mouth that wasn't liquid or mush.  Now I know I could not physically eat those things.  And I am not having the infamous 'buyer's remorse'.  I am totally cool with my choices, but my brain has not caught up with my body and vice versa.

I am sure once everything falls into sync I will adjust.  But, for my own peace of mind, I am avoiding all Fourth of July BBQs.  Yep, I am risky ridicule and hurt feelings from family to preserve my peace of mind.  Sure, I'll come out for the fireworks, but ultimately I just need more time.  Fortunately, I got my "I am still healing" ticket which can probably get me out of jail free this time.

Wishing anyone who happens upon my blog a very happy 4th!

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