manders6

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Today is my one year post-op anniversary.  I have lost a total of 156lbs over the last 12 months.  It hasn't been as hard as I thought but there has been some bumps and brusies and still the journey ahead of me that I must continue on to.  I haven't reached my ideal weight but in the eyes of the goal that they want all of us to reach I have lots 78% of my excess weight.  I guess it kind of feels anti-climatic, as I thought I would be more excited.  I guess I am still looking ahead at what needs to be done instead of looking at what I have accomplished.  Of course, I do still have body issues that I need to work out, as I still see someone that is overweight in the mirror.  I am rational to know that I will never be a size zero, but I believe that I still have another 50 to 70lbs to lose depending on what I look like.  I do not want to look anorexic but want to look healthy and feel at this time that I am not there yet. 

I do continue to worry that I am overeating but I do try to write down what I eat every day.  I believe that this will always will be a battle for me.  But, if I stopped worrying that I am overeating then I think that might be a bad thing.  If I continue to question, it means I continue to care.  I try to stay away from the foods that cause issues for everyone like fried food, potatoes, breads and pasta, chocolates and sweets.  This part has not been that hard because I believe a lot of my problem before was emotional eating and boredom eating.  This is what I am trying to stay on top of because I really do not want to go back to wearing a 4x or higher.  I like the fact that I can fit into a size medium or large shirt.

As long as I celebrate this day and continue to struggle through I will be successful.