To Fill, Or Not To Fill....

Mar 11, 2009

Okay, I am scratching my head on this one.   My band has been at a pretty consistant tightness since last May.  The only two times it has been different are when I stupidly decided to get a small fill back in October, and then over New Year's when I really irritated it somehow and he got SUPER tight. 

The month of February has been a VERY sad, VERY stressful month for me.  Because of everything going on I haven't really concentrated on my eating or exercising.  I haven't really lost weight either.  In fact this past week I have been VERY BAD with my eating and I have put on a couple of pounds.  .  There have been a few months that my band seemed to open up a day or two before dear Auntie Flo came for her monthly visit.  PMS time is a horrible time because I am driven to eat as it is.  Put the two together (I am sure they are related anyway) and you get baaaaad eating habits.  UGH.  Only this time it seems even worse.  Last month I wrote about how I was obsessing over food before my period again.......but this month I can eat much more food than normal.  

I am wondering if I really do need a small fill this time.  I looked back at my blog and I have really only lost about 10 pounds since my band fill/unfill in early November.  I am so confused.  I don't want to make the mistake of an overfill again.  However, I want to get this last 30 something pounds off!! I was up to 182 this morning.  UGH!  I guess the only thing to do is wait until my period is over and try and take the most honest assesment that I can.  I am going to dedicate the next 30 pounds to Jamie.  She was so proud and cheered me on........she would not like to see me give up on this.  

I talked to Jamie's mom last night, she called me.  She is having such a rough time.  I wish I could fast forward time for her.....time is the ONLY thing that will ease her pain.  She just wants to die.....Please say a prayer for Jamie's family.  

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