Add 1CC and Hopefully Success!

May 14, 2010

Made my trip to El Paso yesterday.  It was such a long damn drive!!  There is construction everywhere, so it's over 5 hours each way!  UGH!!  I had gained another 11 pounds!!  Yep!!    Isn't that crazy???  To gain over 20 pounds in a month is really nuts.  I asked the nurse if she thinks that the BC pills could be the cause.  She said she couldn't say, just that she has always heard you could gain weight on them.  Dr. Acosta doesn't think it's the pills at all.  I don't think he was too happy with me yesterday.  I can't blame him.  I am showing NO self control at all.   He said he would fill me to where I was before, which means adding 1 CC.  (I really think he is wrong about that, but I am not going to argue).  He sounded slightly irritated....looking back at my history and two unfills that I had in the E/R.  I think he was just afraid that I am someone that wants my band unecessarily tight.  

I don't think that's the case.  I think my band had slipped before I ever saw Dr. Acosta.  When I got that fill from Fill Centers it was tight, and I PB'd a lot.  Daily.  If my band was never put in properly, as Dr. Acosta thinks. then this just made it worse.  

i know that I DO need to have some self control and make better choices.  I just have so much damn stress right now that I can't seem to devote the time and focus that I need on myself.  I was thinking back and wondering what was different between now and when I lost most of my weight.  The difference was, I made it all about myself back then.  I exercised, and ate right.  I was always thinking about ME.  I can not do that right now.  I have too much going on.  I know that in a month or so it will be different.  I just need the band to help me limit my portions and keep me away from bread, pizza and tortillas.  

I can fill a bit of a difference when I am drinking, so I think this fill DID help.  I started my period yesterday, so I am bloated, and I know that there is some residual swelling from the fill helping right now, too.    Please let me have restriction!!!  I won't see him again until July 22nd, and if I don't have restriction, that will be a long damn wait!!!

I weighed in at 195 freaking pounds yesterday.  UGH.  This morning I was 192.4.   My goal is to lose 15 pounds in one month.  I have lost 2.6 of that already!  ha ha!!

I can do it.  I know that I can.

Getting ready for a busy weekend.  Two of my brothers are flying in for Dylan's graduation!!  I am so excited!! 

0 Comments