An Unfill..........Yep, Why Not?

Feb 03, 2012

So, I have been struggling for several months when it comes to solid protein.  I kept waiting and hoping it would get better, but it really hasn't.  when I first noticed it, I was in the beginning stages of my relationship with Enrique and trying to move to my new rent house.....I kept telling myself  life would settle back in to a routine and I could focus on eating better, etc. 

Well, life has sort of settled in to a routine.  It's clear to me that I am just not able to eat like I am supposed to.  I PB'd my Wendy's Chili yesterday at lunch.    Of course, I can still eat all of the chips, candy bars and cookies I want.  Since I am not able to eat the healthy meal I prepare for my son and BF, I turn to soup and then chips or crackers to satisfy my chewing urges.  Not good.  The PB episode yesterday was the last straw.  I don't PB often, which is good.  I never have reflux or heartburn which is even better, but not being able to eat healthy foods is NOT good. 

I am scared to get fluid taken out......I am scared to be out of control, but I have to face it, I am out of control right now.  He will probably only take a very small amount out, and that's okay with me.  If I can eat 3-4 ounces of protein in a meal and not be hungry an hour later, I will be very happy.  My appointment is on the 23rd of February. 

I will be going to El Paso.....long drive.  I will be able to take the BF this time, and we can make a fun day of it!!  Always a positive side, right?  ha ha

Aunt Flo is on her way out and she and myself did some major damage on the scale.  I am back up to 186.  I know at least a couple of pounds is water weight, but not all of it.   

I am back in the gym and glad about that, I just need to really work on my jogging again and get myself back up to where I was last August.  I was running a couple of miles on the treadmill without stopping.  Outside, I could run a mile in about 15 minutes, sometimes less.   That's not great by a lot of standards, but it kicked ass in my own standards!!  ha ha ha 

So, here is to hoping that my decision to get a small unfill is the right one.  I am not giving up....I will keep fighting my obesity all of my life!!

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