March 27, 2012

Mar 27, 2012

This is my first blog entry. I am 25 years old and weigh roughly 340 pounds. For just about the past year I have been going throught the process to have bariatric surgery done. I have gone through everything, just waiting for the surgeon office to send the request to my medical.
Last April I started seeing a dietitian through the surgeon's offive. I had my initial weigh in and we discussed the different procedures and how the surgery will effect my life. She gave me a list of the things I will need to do to help make the surgery a success as well as help me when the surgery comes. I had to bring in my meal list stating how much I am eating at each meal and how often. The changes I have made to prepair myself for surgery have been a little rough but I know it will be well worth it.
A little over halfway through my 6 months of seeing the dietitian I started seeing the psychologist as required. This was not very easy for me not only because of my social anxiety but because of the kind of person this psychologist was. I am an unwed mother and he was a christian man that seemed to look down on me for this. He then starts saying that my depression and anxiety are caused from things that happened when I was a child instead of cause by my weight. I may not be a professional but I do know that before my weight spiked up after having my daughter, my depression and anxiety were very minimal. That alone tells you that my weight is what effected this.
Sadly, that was not the only things to discourage me. In my 5th month of seeing the dietitian she weighs me and says "Well, you have gained 5 pounds since your initial visit. The surgeon might see that as you are not dedicated enough and not do the surgery for you." Now, this was in the end of summer. I spent much of the summer swimming. I had not swam since I was 17 years old. The "weight" gain was muscle and my clothes were falling off of me. I tried to explain that to the dietitian but all she cared was what the scale said. That really upset me and made me mad.
Everything got thrown for a loop when I found out my mother had breast cancer for the second time. I put everything on hold to go and be by her side (1200 miles away) for a month during surgery and recovery. My mom lives right outside of the mountains in Colorado. Being back home, where I grew up, was exactly what I needed to help relax me and sooth away the stress. I did not realise how much I missed the mountains, the fresh air, the gorgeous blue skies. Being there and breathing in that crisp air and seeing everything again was so cleansing. I got to see some old friends and my church family. These people are the most amazing people I have known in my life. They have touched me in a way I never knew possible. They are all so loving, accepting and forgiving of anything in your life. To them, you are another child of God. Nothing more, nothing less. After I left they took over helping my sister and mother with the rest of the cancer treatments and radiation.
Beginning of this month I had my meeting with the surgeon for him to give his approval to send things off to my medical. I was so nervous and scared because of what the dietitian had said. All of my fear was wiped away when the surgeon came in. He was so nice and friendly! He said I am a pefect canditate and he thinks the results will be wonderful. That was such a huge sigh of relief!
After the visit with the surgeon they were supposed to send a request to my medical to see if they will approve it. I call my medical to find something else out only to be told I do not have medical for the month of March, so my apt may not have been covered. I also have to wait until the first of the month for them to send the request to my medical. What happened is I went to turn my papers in for my 6 month report and I found out that my worker (all workers really) got moved. The people say they can take the papers to my worker along with all the other papers they have there and tell me she would have it that day or the next. Well, it took over a week to get to her, making them late. So my medical got canceled for a month. So, that is where I am at right now.

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