Michelle Smith

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This was an email I sent to my coworkers from mexico the day after surgery. My bosses were teasing me about how they were going to use chainsaws on me....this was my response!!

 whoop whoop,well, I am still here,kickin! surgery went great,no problems.

We are back at the marriott. we will fly home tommorow. i cannot WAIT to
get home. the surgery went uneventfully. Jim & Rob, imagine my surprise
when they wheeled me into the OR, & there on the surgical tool table, sat
a red Husqvarna 1100 CC 1.5 HP 12 in chain saw! It was like you 2 had been
here before!!! BUT.....after I got over the shock, I thought, hey, u know
what? when in Rome!! (Or cancun, as it was!!)   =)   I figured, if they
were smart enough to buy american, then that was good enough for me!!! So,
this little tiny senorita was my anesthesiologist,about 4`8, had to get
her a stool to stand on. She looked like cancun barbie. literally. had
spiked heels on, low cut shirt, REALLY low cut, had a cha cha dee gragorio
mole on her chin. more make up than tracy spears has ever worn in her
entire life, put together, BUT,she had a card saying she was certified
anestheologist from the Cancun academy of cosmetology,snake trainer,bus
drvr & Dr stuff. She told me to count down from 10,000. i questioned this,
since in the US, it is usually 10, but jee say, No....ours takes a bit
longer....so, I say ok!! 100000,9999,9998,9997, & i got down to 8,& then

            

So,I was sleeved, Fri, the 8th, in Cancun Mex. It was not bad at all.....Of course I was scared, but that seems like a lifetime ago already. So, they did the pre-op stuff, did not take long at all. Xrays of chest, EKG, blood work.... I met with the anesth, & Dr Verboonen. Very nice, very well spoken. I got nekkid! They wheeled me into OR, under I go. I wake up,they tell me that even though I pre-op´d for 23 days, my liver was very large & fatty. Surgery took longer than expected. My hubby was having a COW. (Dr V said, imagin what your liver was liike before this) Because I was 100% true on my pre-op.  scary!!! But, I am a heavy weight.... I had to stay on the rolly bed in recovery for an hour. I wanted to pee & walk right then. they would not let me. they finally wheeled me into my room 45 min later, when I kpet telling them I was fine. LETS GO. They were going to shift my to the bed, but I was like-WAIT- let me do this. I could just see myself falling between the beds if they tried..lol....so I moved myseld. so far so good. they had me I V´d. wasnt bad. the nurses came in, offering pain meds all the time. I was ok without. I think I took them once, thinking I was getting something to helpe me sleep. LOL. I was there fri, sat, released sun morn. the 2nd day was AWFUL; cause u cant do anyhting. just wait for the next day. Sun comes, & I have to drink the blue stuff. shit nearly killed me. I dont know how I did it. Yes, I do. I kept saying to myself,THIS IS HOW THEY WILL KNOW IF U HAVE A LEAK, SO DRINK IT DUMB ASS.  i got, they take pics, i had to drink another clear liquid, that tasted like hand sainitizer gel...lol...seriously. then, thumbs up, all good. we were already packed. we got back to the marriott. we spent sun & mon here. (it is mon night now) flying home tommorow. so far, i have had nothing to eat, & I do not want anything. anaesth affects me that way. i am drinking, sip sip sip. my incisions are negligible. they look great. they pulled the drain out sun am before I left. I am still having gas pains from the anest, but working it out. I slept on my side last night (i cannot sleep any other way) & I felt very rested this morning. when I a on my side, I dont move. we have the foam memory mattress here, supposed to be very nice-horseshit.....give me my 10 yr old sealy at home pls!!!!!! so, thats been my exp so far. my hubby keeps trying to get out of eating,c ause he feels bad to eat in front of me..he doesnt realize, it honestly does not bother me. i finally got him in the rest at the hotel tonight, & he ate a very nice filet mignon. I was very happy that he finally ate!!! his stomach had been growling since we left the hosp yesterday. So, I will post more as I go. So far so good. & let me say, Dr Verboonen, sheri, & staff were 100% up to speed, & I was very comfortable the whole time. I recommend them & hospital Galenia to anyone. God Bless to all my OH friends. I love you guys!!!!

 This pre-op diet is not bad at all.....I am really not struggling with it. I weaned myself off alot of cabrs & soda before I started, so it has really come fairly easy (which worries me!!) I am on day 6 of  24. So far so good...The wildest thing-I have lost 12 lbs in 6 days. INSANE...I posted my measurements. YIKES. but, its onyl for a little while...Give me a year, & then I will say

WHAT NOW, BITCHES!!!???

LOL!!! We are hugecut ups at work, & we heard that on some Jerry Springer video email, & now, EVERYTIME someone says something, one of us will go  "WHAT NOW BITCHES!"  It gets comical. But, I digress...

Seriously, I am ready for this! 

NO SAYS I.... Greek yogurt has ALL you need, you say?? HORSE SHIT! All I have to say is.....Do not try this shit for the 1st time when you are alone. You will need help to scrape this crap off your tongue. I literally thought I was going to have to call an ambulance. I was standing in my kitchen, fantasizing about getting in 22 G of protein in 1 TINY lil container, & then WHOOSH! I tasted it. If I had to guess at what ASS tastes like, this would be it. I spun around, trying to get to the sink, & I slipped on an ice cube (well, several ice cubes-my cats know how to operate the ice maker dispenser) Next thing I know, I was on my knees, trying to throw the stuff up, my 3 cats running in circles around me. (I knew I should have taught them to dial 911)  The room went all fuzzy, (one good thing about that, my kitchen floor looked alot cleaner with my vision impaired)  Well, I tried to get off my knees, to get water, hoping I wouldnt swallow anymore of this shit, & then the yogurt hit the top of my mouth.Now, I dont know about ya'll, but once food does that to me,it is all over if I dont like it. I never knew how much force I could exert while vomiting. I pissed my pants (well, just a little... vomiting while trying to get off the floor can be rough on the bladder)  This was yesterday. I can still feel the texture of that HORSE SHIT in my mouth. I have never actually tasted horseshit, but I have smelled it, & it is pretty bad. It just seems appropriate. Be forewarned!! If u plan on trying this protein rich product, have someone there for support.  I'm just saying......

disclaimer-I meant every word of this

I wanted to get this on my blog, so months down the road, if I need something to make me smile, I can refer to this!

Well....True to myself, I never do anything without thinking it thru (some people claim I "overthink:" everything...well, tough.......I initally started this journey, going to Dr X in Cancun for the lapband. After research,I realized that the lapband was not going to be my best option. I decided on VSG, (I am currently losing weight,& I hope that I get my BMI down, at least to the low 50's before my surgery. Well, Dr X's specialty seemed to be lapbands, so I decided to change Dr's, I did some research, & found Dr Y, but after even more research, I have once again backed away from this Dr as well. I do not feel "guilty" about this at all. I found info that was contradictory to info I had received earlier. I will now begin my search for Dr Z (LOL) I am planning on surgery in Jan, so I have time. I feel very good about this. I am actually looking at Dr Aceves, in Mexicali. We shall see!