frusterated

May 01, 2012

 ugg i hate this feeling my head is so fucked up. i am watching the baby over by ellys again and i brought all my food with me and even a snack or 2 to make sure i stayed on track. i ate my breakfast the way i had it planned but then i went in the kitchen and saw the smoked pork butt they made this weekend, i decided to have some of that ( about 1/2c) w a tiny bit of bbq sauce. it was to much. but i shoved it in anyway that was about 1130am by 12 i had a cheese stick (that i brought with) then about 1 i was feeding the baby and he has these natural child berry squeezers... omg they are soo good. so i ate a pouch of that. and then about a quarter pouch of grape squeezers. then the 1 TBSP of PB that i brought with and now im munching on vitamin c's and its only 1:43pm. ... i wish i could go see a therapist. something is wrong with me i know i can control it but its this sabatoge that i do to myself EVERY time i start seeing results. i need to fix this i am only 4 1/2 months out and the last thing i need to be doing is fucking myself over. 

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