Monkey_doodle

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Health insurance was intact- whew!  Gotta be careful with some of these reps.  I had a feeling he was not looking at my records properly.  So I also discovered on Friday that I was approved for surgery.  Kind of freaked me out a little when I heard it was a 5 day pre-approved hospital stay.  I do know that the surgery could have me in the hospital most likely more than one day.  Soooo, life is settling and I am preparing my house for mommy to arrive in a couple weeks!!  I still cannot believe this is coming around the corner. 

The other night I slipped and fell on some linoleum at home as I was starting to carrying clean laundry upstairs and the pain almost made me pass out.  Do you have any idea what my first thought was??  "please don't make me have to use sick time...I have to get this surgery done!!"  So instead of thinking about calling in sick the next day at work I decided to go in hobbling.  I did attend urgent care after work though and no tears but it hurts like heck at times.  Strangely enough, the pain was almost non-existant by the time I got to the doctor office and I was walking just fine.  I felt like a moron but the x-rays had already been taken.  I'm sure my insurance will not cover all expenses for that trip.  I figured I better get it checked in case surgery IS needed- that way I can maybe get it done during my time out...hahahah! 

*sigh*  So, the time is creeping upon me now.  CRAZYYY!!

The other day I decided to give insurance a call and see if, by chance, I had been approved for the surgery- assuming the doctor's office had submitted the paperwork.  My jaw nearly dropped when the customer service rep said I was "termed" on February 18th.  WTF? 

Let me preface this with a couple things that have happened since January 2011.  I started working for the government in December 2009 and of course quickly signed up for health insurance.  All of 2010 I had been using my health insurance with no problems.  I had been examining my paycheck stub ocassionally and was growing concerned that just maybe they were not deducting my healthcare costs.  Flash foward about a year and I approach human resources to say I don't think my pay reflects a healthcare deduction.  Payroll steps up and states it would be a simple adjustment.  So I'm thinking that maybe I paid what I needed to and all was fine.  Two weeks later a letter from a San Diego, CA branch (I live and work in NY) says "we have you listed on our health care plan...can you please submit paperwork to prove you work here?"  Another WTF?

Payroll supposedly takes care of the issue once again.  Another week or so later I get a letter from the government dept that handles our overall pay telling me- you owe the government $2700 for the year of 2010 because deductions for your healthcare were not taken out.  WHAT????  Not only that but they quoted me under the wrong plan- they said I was under a family plan while I was under a single plan.  Of course this went  right back to payroll because they key in the codes for that stuff.

Okay, so back to most recently- my dept says I am all set and that it shows I am insured.  On a whim I call the insurance company with the hope that the last customer service rep didn't read my record properly- this call they say- nope, you are all good and I don't know why the last person told you that you termed.  *sigh*  *BIG SIGH* *EVEN BIGGER SIGH*  This is the only part I really care about at this point.  Surgery date is 3 weeks away.

Meanwhile, I had left messages at the doctor office regarding this problem- they probably think I am nuts.  But if my record of being insured this whole time was intact- then they have not sent in my paperwork yet and the woman at the clinic has not tried calling me back again yet.  So now I guess the worst hurdle is getting the clinic to confirm they sent my paperwork to the insurance company- then waiting for the insurance response. 

Time to call the clinic.  I can't remember a time when I had to work so hard having all my ducks in a row!!  Well, all this is happening and I am trying to complete courses online for school so I can eventually become a nurse.  CRAZY!!!

I met with the surgeon a couple days ago.  I had prepared myself that he would try to talk me out of it as I had been warned of this... and he did- he pointed out the cons of the surgery- more because I am not at the desired BMI for DS.  I didn't care- it's my body and my life.  So I sat and listened to him talk.  I brought a mountain of paperwork with me but only a couple pages to support why I wanted DS and not RNY.  I listened and gave my reasons for why DS was important to me: to reduce PCOS symptoms and hopefully achieve a normal BMI.  THe added bonus is being able to eat fairly normal.

He wanted to scare me with all the complications like diarrhea, no taking NSAIDS, that RNY is a better solution for PCOS, etc.  I just sat and looked at him and without even hesitation he just signed the paperwork and said "let's get you a surgery date."  Much to my surprise, it will be March 29, 2011.  Holy poop chutes!  So soon?  This month will go by fast!  So, I feel like I am "nesting" for my surgery now.  I am kind of disorganized so this will give me some time to prep.  I'm making a list of things to have on hand for eating.  My mom will be here but she cannot drive so prep time will be important.  I'm also recruiting some friends to help with a ride here and there for at least the first 3 days. 

I also noticed that I eat poorly after each clinic visit.  I may be PMS-ing though too- but sugary stuff is bad with me- I crave carbs and sweets. I havde tried many times to avoid eating "bad food" and replacing it with something sugar free but its like my body cannot be fooled!  I am a little frustrated with the dietician support (with RE: to post-op ) because for the most part they are teaching you to eat as if having RNY surgery.  Thank goodness for the online support. 

Hopefully, I will update later on and just before surgery at least!

I have not updated the blog in awhile.  I must admit that sometimes I tend to go gung ho about something and then it slides off to the wayside.  As far as bariatric surgery goes, I realize that is not something you can mess around with a little and then let go.  In December 2010, I met with the dietician for the first time and had lost ten lbs.  During the rest of that month I gained some weight back.  Holidays are not easy at the office when it comes to foods- add to this that my depression deepened and you have a nice formula for weight gain.  I made very poor choices, did not bother to journal my food diary, and little exercise.

Because I work overnights at work it put a damper on my mood because I was missing alot of sunlight and missing alot of family.  This was the first year I spent christmas alone and it was a sad day because I did not get a call from a single person.  By 9pm that night I called my mom up sobbing- my parents had been at my brother's summer home and other family were visiting the area so it was easy to miss me that day.  She felt terrible and thought it would have been better if they planned to come visit me for part of the day.  I had done my best to visit family the two days before but it was exhausting trying to fit it all in with my need for sleep during the daytime and the distance (a good 45 mins away).  Needless to say, it was a rough few weeks.

In January 2011, I scheduled my second dietician appointment after getting myself back together and that weigh-in is when I saw the 5 lb weight gain.  I'm sure it was a little more prior to that but glad it wasn't the whole 10 lbs from the previous month.  We re-reviewed the foods again and again.  I rescheduled again 3 weeks later in February 2011.  Feb 5th was my birthday and I made a plea to all that might bring in food that they make it mostly healthy and boy was I surprised- even a chocolate mousse like pie made from sugar free pudding and fat free whipped topping!  Lots of veggies, fruits, and cheeses were also among the foods- what a nice day  On the third visit to the dietician I had lost that last 5 lbs.  On the awful side- the days prior to that appointment I was sick with a stomach flu- my system had pretty much emptied and was on a mostly fluid diet for almost 3 days.  Ugh.  I wouldn't wish those days on my worst enemy. 

That last appointment encouraged the dietician to graduate me from her appointments and gave me the okay to speak with the surgeon.  This week, March 3rd,  I will meet with him to talk about my decision for surgery. I was warned of a couple things such as his possible desire to talk me out of doing the DS and that surgery may be scheduled anywhere from 4-8 weeks following that appointment.  The clinic itself does not do much of a job advertsing the DS.  In the informational seminar- Dr. O'Malley has his sessions at a hotel reception hall.  I would say at least 100 people in attendance were there with the surgery in mind.  He only speaks about RNY. 

I may have mentioned in a previous blog note that I tried going through the RNY at another doctor office- believing it was my only option for weight loss surgery but ended up stopping because I just didn't have faith in RNY.  I have been told by someone, who did the DS at the office I go to now and same surgeon, that it's best to have done all your homework.  So I have been reviewing reasons for why I want DS vs RNY- especially help from this site.  Overall, I just know it suits my lifestyle.  I should also add in here that my BMI is not at the range most people would get a DS- it was lingering at about 40-41.  I believe the DS clients (at that office) generally come closer to something like 48-50 and above. 

I'm going to continue with my homework on the subject.  I read a recent post about a woman here who was 2 weeks from surgery and apparently was greatly criticized by the DS'ers on this site about what a lack of knowledge she has about the procedure.  Actually, it seemed like she really didn't know anything at all.  I wonder how she managed to choose DS as her procedure if that was the case? 

By the way, I tried a protein shake today- soy with natural vanilla flavor in skim milk.  It was blah so I added a 1/2 packet of sugar free hot cocoa mix.  I will have to experiment with some other flavors to add that won't affect my diet.  If I can manage a couple of those a day I will be doing good on protein.  Tonight I am going out with the girls for a movie and dinner.  Another girl and I decided to splurge on a Shamrock Shake tonight- may be the last time I taste one of those!  We decided the best option is to share one together so as not to overdo it though.

I hope I can remember to update more often.  It is very likely I will need this site more than I realize for support.  I learned that the clinic I go to does not even sponsor a support group for DS!  THis is how much they don't support it!  I'm sure there is something in the area- i just have to look.

I started looking into the WLS option awhile back but it started back up again in about August.  A month ago I attended another WLS seminar with a doctor who performs the DS.  The clinic would not allow me to switch doctors unless I attended that particular doctor's seminar.  The funny thing about it is that neither of them discuss the duodenal switch procedure.  I understand that DS may be more geared to BMI in super obese patients but with having PCOS and seeing that most DS'ers achieve better weight loss outcomes (and seems to have maintained longer) this is more my choice.  I am always seeking information to support why DS may be a better choice for PCOS women.  If you know of any resources, please let me know!  (By the way- My BMI is about 42.)

So a few days ago I also attended my first individual dietician session.  I was amazed to find I lost 10 lbs.  I also realize that while I was expected to eat 1500 cal's each day- that number sometimes barely hit 1200.  This may be why I was able to lose so well in one month.  I actually ate some not-so-nutritious foods during that time.  A friend has already warned me that the program will try to persuade me that RNY/gastric bypass is most recommended.  And the dietician really pushed it through the session until I told her "I want to be a normal BMI and maintain that.  Most RNY people I know seem to fall about 20% short of that goal." It literally stopped her to think for a moment.  She RNY support group.  Fine, I will do it.  Said friend also did the same and she only heard people complain about all the things they can't do or how awful they feel.  Sadly enough, a co-worker committed suicide a couple months ago who had RNY and he complained of never feeling right since the surgery.  That worries me. 

What frustrates me is that few doctors seem to understand the part about my PCOS.  There is very little research and it makes me feel quite isolated in the medical world.  I even visited an endocrinologist who couldn't speak much on the subject.  He wasted my time and my money.  All he could tell me was keep eating healthy, exercise, and stop taking Metformin if it bothers my stomach.  He literally shrugged his shoulders at me when I asked what I can do to improve my negative symptoms.  For someone who is a doctor in this field- they should have more information on the subject. 

Jumping back to the diet regimen- This month I need to work on balancing my meals with protein, veggies, and dairy.  Last month, despite 10 lb weight loss, I apparently ate too many starchy veggies.  I hoped that butternut squash was a safe one and with tomatoes in the chili it would count as a veggie.  Apparently not.  So I have some homework to do.  Another co-worker had DS done about a month ago.  Last week she tried a bite of solid foods and ended up gagging in the bathroom.  Did she not chew it thoroughly??  I imagine her tummy must still be pretty swollen.  

All in all, this time around, I am more encouraged to follow my path to the DS WLS. 

I have recently completed the first steps toward my goal of having weight loss surgery.  I attended a doctor/intro seminar as well as a nutritional counseling workshop so far.  This is the second time in the last couple years that I have begun this journey.  The first time, in 2008, I was kind of resorting to the surgery with so many failed attempts to lose significant weight.  It was also around the time that my gynecologist and I discussed that I likely have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).

There are few things in the world that I would never want to have and PCOS happens to be one of those things on my list.  Looking back over the years- the years of blaming myself for not trying hard enough or not putting in a long enough effort- I see have taken its toll on me.  It was an incredible relief to know that I was not crazy in thinking "something has to be wrong with me" all these years.  I never found myself to be much of an emotional eater but being unable to lose weight, like most others who made simple dietary changes, I ended up treating myself rather poorly over the years.  I remember spending hours in school just calculating my calories- and restricting them to a mere 500-600 a day and then going to work out for 1-2 hours on top of that.  Bulimia was another struggle for a few years.  My self- esteem took a nose-dive.  If only I had the knowledge I have now.  

Several years and many pounds later, life continues to be a struggle.  I am noticing health issues or aches and pains that probably should not be there for my age (not even 40 yet!).  I also believe that the older I have gotten the more severe the PCOS symptoms seem to have come on.   I have noticed that my energy has dwindled as well as increased moodiness and depression.  Initially, I was rather reluctant to move forward with weight loss surgery until the past few months.  I had been going to a fertility clinic to get pregnant as a single mother.  After four months of trying and burning through about $3500 with no results- I came to the realization that maybe this is not something I can do right now.  A very sad reality.  Some speculate the excess weight, some say no, it's the PCOS.  Whatever it is, I decided it's time to change.  I dreaded thinking RNY was the only surgery possible.  And in all honesty, I didn't much care for how people survived on that surgery.  I felt like it would be added torture of what already seemed like having to make restrictions without any results.

Then a friend at work told me more and more about her surgery- duodenal switch.  The more I have read about it, the more I have liked.  I have reached an all time high with my weight and I am disgusted with myself.  I need to do something soon.  I am too young to one day go to the doctor and learn I have type II diabetes.  So far, the DS seems most appropriate for me.  I certainly hope that I will be able to meet other women faced with PCOS who have had or are considering the DS surgery. 

So far the dietician wants me on a 1500 calorie diet.  I think I am going to die!  One of my goals is to work on decreasing the amount of carbohydrates from starchy foods like breads and cereal.  I have a little sweet tooth so I will need to work on that as well with some sugar-free choices.  As we speak there is sugar-free gelatin cooling in the fridge!  The only struggle I may have is to work with the doctor and dietician to review my reasons for the DS.  Any suggestions or resources would be helpful!!  My current BMI just hit 43...which I am of course bummed about....but also not exactly the typical DS candidate. 

A couple other goals are to prepare healthy foods for work and to grab when at home.  As well as adding in exercise again.  (After decreasing my gym time down to literally nothing I gained 5 lbs in the last 2 months.  Not good and cannot afford to gain anymore since starting the weight loss clinic.)  Well, I am pretty determined about this so I can only hope for the best in this process now.  Here's to a new start in life...