mshelf3
Almost 11 weeks out
Sep 26, 2010
So I started my post op diet on July 5th. I have lost 74.6 lbs since that day. Unbelievable. Well kinda...... On the one hand- it has gone so quickly that it is kinda a blur. I am so incredibly thankful for the weight being gone and the inches. It just seems like it is a dream. But on the other hand, I get scared because I have kinda disconnected in some ways from the process. I just don't always feel like I have anything to do with the weight loss. That is all my "pouch's" success. I know in my head that isn't true-but I guess I feel like such a failure on my own that I can't give myself credit for doing this. (Luckily I get to go and meet with the counselor who does the psych evals for the program this week. lol )However, I am aware enough to know that every time I don't put something in my mouth- that is me making that choice. It is just that the choice is often motivated by fear at this point. I have gotten sick a few times when I rushed in a tried something that I thought would be so great and then regretted it very soon and for hours after. This fear is great right now.... but what about when i can eat things again. How will I remind myself of everything that I have sacrificed for this to happen? How will I daily remind myself of the changes I allowed to happen to my body(the surgery).
Anyway, this wasn't meant to be a downer post. I am really so happy with the results I have had so far. I am just very much aware that this is such a long and complicated process that has so much yet so little to do with the actual food.
