Nichole13

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Well, it will be my 7th anniversary on 6/7/14.  I'm still maintaining very well.  My son is 2 years old and healthy as a horse.  I had the easiest pregnancy ever.  My OB was fascinated by how well I did.  I only gained 24 pounds.  I lost most of the weight, but a lot of it shifted around, so instead of being a size 4, I'm now a 6 or an 8 (depends on the brand).  But I will not complain at all!  I am still healthy and I can chase after my son, WHO IS A HOLY TERROR!

The hospital where I had my surgery just asked me to do a new brochure; Yay!

It's been 4 years and 2 months.  Maintained very well.  I just found out I'm pregnant.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  My first thought, was "Oh crap! I'm gonna gain weight!"  And to be honest, it's still a major concern!  But we'll see how this goes!

It's still fantastic!  I've maintained this weight loss for almost 2 years and it's been 3 since my surgery.  I can't complain about 1 damn thing!  Other than the haters!  Ha ha!

Well, it's been 2 years as of last month.  WOW!  I'll never regret doing this.  It's very hard, and I've made mistakes along the way, but I just get right back on track. 
For anyone out there who says that we cheated or took the easy way out, you have no idea what you're talking about!  First of all, the pre-op stuff is brutal!  All the appointments: the cardiologist, the shrink, the nutritionsist, the surgeon, the general doctor, etc.  Then send ALL that to the insurance company and wait.  And wait.  And then wait some more.  If you're lucky, you'll get approved the 1st time out.  I did.  But most people I know had to appeal and that's a whole other endurance test.
Then, once you're approved, you've got a whole new round of medical tests!  EKG's, stress tests, endoscope, and lots of blood work!  Oh, don't forget to get your disability papers in order way before your sugery date and have them done CORRECTLY, or you aren't getting money coming in while you're recovering.
Finally comes the big day!  No pun intended.  You get up at the crack of dawn and have someone drive you to the hospital.  Check in, endure the same questions by every person who comes in the holding area.  Next you get that HUGE IV in your hand that sort of looks like you got stabbed, but it gives the drugs, so you kind of love it.  You won't remember the surgery, of course, but you'll wake up with that lovely ventilator helping you breathe.  That's a fun treat when they pull that out, but you're on a lot of drugs to care too much.  The day of surgery isn't that bad, because you're high as a kite!
The next day is when you come crashing down from the narcotic bliss cloud!  OWWWWW!  And the nurses there are not there to hear you whine, they're there to get your fat ass out of bed and moving!  The faster you move, the faster you heal!  Well, ever try getting out of bed after your stomach has been vertically sliced open and put back together with staples?  No?  Then shut up!  It hurts like like hell!  I would chew on the pillow while getting up to keep from cussing out the nurse!  As soon as you shuffle in the hall long enough to make the nurses happy, you get a shower; nothing is as weird as showering with an IV and staples!  This goes on for another day. 
On the third day you get the barium swallow.  Now you have not eaten or drank anything for 3 days, you're not hungry at all, because you're being fed by the IV, but you're still thinking like a fat girl and the thought of drinking something sounds awesome!  Then you get the barium; GROSS!  I'd rather eat dirt!  But you've got to choke it down so they get their pictures, and so you get that NG tube out of your nose.  A few hours later, a doctor comes in and says it's ok to remove.  Then they SLOWLY pull that thing out of your nose-ouch!
The next day you get to go home!  Yay!  Once again you're in the car that now seems to hit EVERY f-ing bump on the road! 
Once you're home is when it REALLY begins!  For 7-10 days you're eating 2oz of broth or jell-o every few hours.  Say what you want, there is no more room for jell-o!  Then you go back to the surgeon, who removes your Jackson Pratt drain and says you can have full liquids (milk, SF pudding, and strained cream soups)  It almost seems decadant!  Another week later you get pureed meat, which is disgusting, but a change of pace.  Next step is soft meat, i.e. fish; YUMMY!  I was so happy to get there!  Finally you hit final stage of "normal" food, which really takes the rest of your life; because it's trial and error of what your pouch will tolerate.  And don't forget your vitamins, FOREVER.  Or drinking 64oz of water everyday, FOREVER.  And not drinking with meals, ever!  And measuring every portion to make sure you get your proper amount of protein.  And chewing everything into mush, forever!
Then you have to constantly buy new (and cheap) clothes, underwear and bras, because you're losing weight and falling out of your clothes, sometimes literally walking out of your pants!  So there's more money you have to spend!  Oh, and forget socializing out with your firends for awhile, becasue you can't eat and they don't want to make you feel weird, so they make "forget" to invite you places.  That's awkward!  You also may lose friends because they're jealous and/or want to keep you as the "fat friend".  They were never your friend in the first place, if they only kept you around to make themselves feel good!  And the ever fun family comments!  They're always good for a laugh at your expense!  Nothing like negative people to make you doubt yourself, while you're trapped in the house, only able to walk around the neighborhood! 
Eventually you recover enough to drive, go back to work and start a new routine in your life.  This other stuff becomes background noise, because you're losing weight fast and at that point, WHO CARES!!!!!
But according to some people, this is cheating.  You know what?  F*** them!  Most people couldn't live like this and be as thrilled with my life as I am!

I am still mad at this whole thing: about not being able to say what I want.  You know, I may have hurt some people's feelings about what I said, and I'm sorry, but I get no apologies for when my feelings get hurt by these people and it's a lot.  They never call me, except to yell at me or to tell me what to do; they never invite me over, nor will they come over to my house; they plan parties or trips and don't even think to invite or include me.  I'm just ordered around like a child.  Of course, when they read this, they'll tell me I act like a child; maybe because they only see what they expect!  No one ever TRIES to get to know me; they just go on info that is 20 years old.  And they wonder why I'm angry?  I hate being left out and ignored.  It hurts-A LOT!  I'm lonely, bored and frustrated.  I have nothing in my life, except this and these people have EVERYTHING I ever wanted.    When I'm upset, it seems to get turned around that the offender SHOULD be mad at me and I deserve what I get.  Someone said if I didn't want this read, I should just write a diary.  What am I, Bridget Jones?  I don't think so! 
I was here first! 

Some people have been reading my posts and complaining that they don't like it.  I gave in and took it down.  But then I got to thinking about it and I got mad.  Why do I have to give in?  Why do I have to give up 2 years of this?  What happened to my First Amendment rights?  So I changed my mind.  I don't post anything racy or rude, so I will continue and that won't change.  And if they don't like it--TOO BAD!!!

Well, I'm hanging out at home on this unusually warm February day.  Nothing exciting to report.  I am up for a job near my home, waiting on the background and credit check.  I don't think it should be a problem, but different companies have different standards.  So we'll see, I guess!
Our condo is up for sale, no buyers yet, but no surprise there.  Stupid economy!  When we buy a bigger house, we plan on getting married.  Me and Brian had decided this awhile ago.  I have just never made some big announcement about it.  I never thought that I needed to.  My friends know and my mom knows, so I figured that I was covered.  Well, my sister feels like we should have this big tacky display of love or something.  That is just not our style!  Plus I think people getting married over the age of 25 should NOT be having these big Bridezilla weddings, you're too old!  She doesn't agree with me!  But she doesn't agree with me on anything!  She was asking me why were we getting married, I said because we want to, want to have a kid, buying a house, etc.  And she had the nerve to tell me that these reasons were not good enough!  What a weirdo!  If she picked up a phone and returned ONE of my calls, maybe she'd learn something about my life and who the heck I am! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!  I can't believe it's been a year and a half!  The weight is holding steady.  I did gain a little, but I dropped it real fast.  I just got a little lazy.  I turned that around.  I also had a spectacular stomach bug, that really was brutal!
Still out of work.  That stinks!  I've been on a few interviews, nothing panned out.  It's very scary out there, easy to get discouraged.  I just take it all in stride, you have to be able to laugh at all of this.  There's nothing else you can do!

Wow!  I haven't been here in a long time!  I'm out of work AGAIN!  This is the worst time to be unemployed!  No one is hiring!  And those who are, want a college degree, which I don't have!  Or they don't offer health insurance, they expect your spouse to provide it for you.  So, I'm screwed!  I put my resume out everywhere and haven't heard anything!  I hate this so much, and am so stressed out.  This isn't fair!  I have no idea what I'm going to do!

Hey!  Not much has been going on lately.  Brian went back to work finally!  Woo-hoo!  I signed up for a non-credit creative writing class.  Just to try something. 
My weight has been holding steady at 120.  Nice!  I can't complain there.  But I know that I really need to keep up my food log.  I do not want to slip back into bad habits or gain weight.  That would suck!