ninnifer
Crap-O-Rama
May 09, 2007
One thing that's pissing me off is my weight. I am nearly 4 months out from surgery (in 7 days), and I've lost only 54 pounds. I know that I've been excercising a lot, swimming and walking, and have been thinking that maybe I'm gaining a lot of muscle, but DAMN! Almost two weeks ago I was at 312, then 310, then 308, and as of this morning 310 again. Ugh! I looked at my shoulders and the area above my breasts, this morning, and it does look thinner. It feels like I'm melting from the extremities towards the center, and drooping in some places. Oh well, at least I can see some difference physically, if not on the scale.
Here's to a better tomorrow, eh? Its my 35th birthday!
Saturday 5/12: 22 minutes stationary bike (107-127 heart rate)
5/11/07 800 meters (yes, I'm tired!.. 400 breaststroke, 400 freestyle)
5/10/07 Birthday!!! 600 meters swimming (300 breaststroke, 300 freestyle)
Today: 25 minute walk.... it was so hot today!
Tuesday 5/8: 600 meters swimming (breaststroke & freestyle)
"Good Tired" Again
May 06, 2007
Three days ago when I weighed myself I hadn't lost any weight.... I was still at 308. But I must be losing fat, and gaining muscle? I'm pretty sure this must be the case.
I started making home-made yogurt this week. I think I made a mistake by using whole milk though. The taste is fantastic (it has a less "pointed" sour taste than store-bought stuff.... but still a nice tang), and I needed to add only about 2 teaspoons of sugar. The combination of full fat milk and sugar must have been too much though. I dumped on it twice. I layed down, felt my heart beating hard, started sweating and fell fast asleep both times. My tummy system has been pretty picky lately. Today when I ate some of Bernie's BBQ hamburger, I ended up spitting most of it up. I don't know what that was all about. I maybe ate too fast? I ended up in bed again, this time trying to "burp" myself. Its a weird feeling, as though the meat is settling in my esophagus/pouch and air needs to be pushed up to make way? Yep, I guess I have a "baby" stomach still!!
This Thursday is my 35th birthday. I can't think of another time in my life when I've been more hopeful for my future. I am truly blessed.
Counting My Steps
Apr 28, 2007
Saturday 4/28 2800 by 3 PM
Sunday 4/29 300 meters breast stroke; 300 meters freestyle
Tuesday 5/1 30 minutes brisk walk...pedometer didn't work!
Today Bernie and I jumped in the pool for the first time this season! How fun! I have that "good tired" feeling of bliss sitting here writing this....the feeling you can only get from a good swim. I told him that one of my goals is to be in shorts by the end of summer. My legs have always looked pretty funky, but maybe they'll be less that way by August? I noticed that my swimsuit went on a little easiry today..and the mumu that I'd grown out of last summer was just fine. Its so worth celebrating these little victories, as they're happening so fast, I can't let them slip by without a little "hip hip horray!!!"
Something "Funny"
Apr 25, 2007
Something funny happened this week. I jumped on the scale and actually gained two pounds. I know that I've been developing some serious muscle, but man! That muscle must be really heavy! I am not believing the scale...as you may have guessed. I'm losing bulk around my hip and derriere "shelf" and I was actually able to put on a skirt that I bought two summers back that was too tight before. Before, I couldn't zip it up, and now it slides on. I still am a bit self-conscious about the belly apron that shows, but I think I'll be able to get over that soon. The skirt is too damn cute not to wear :) Plus, its starting to get warm (we're at the end of April), and I don't have too many clothes anymore! Bernie and I promised that this weekend we'd go through our respective sides of the closet ..... he to get rid of clothes that are too small (yes, he's managed to move from a 30 inch waist to a 31 in the last few years of marriage :)), and me to get rid of clothes that are too big. There are a bunch of clothes packed towards the back of my closet that used to fit, and I'm thinking that some of them might fit now. I'll just have to get them out, blow off the dust, and try them on!
I've been walking a lot lately, and am really happy about it. Except today. I didn't admit this to anyone, but I think that I made myself sick by eating some chocolate. I ate it around 2:00 this afternoon, and then fell fast asleep (and I think I remember feeling a little sweaty and clammy as I was falling asleep). Not more than 45 minutes later my tummy woke me up and told me to get to the toilet....FAST! Ever since then (and it's now almost 8PM) I've been running and running, and I cannot believe that my body has that much water in it! Or did, at least. So, I'm trying to re-hydrate now so I don't get weak and/or depleted in electrolytes. I ate a little salmon with LOTS of salt. I know....bad JJ. Bad behavior. Bad, bad, bad.
Oh well, tomorrow I'll have to do lots of good, good good!!!
On My Way!
Apr 20, 2007
These last few days have been a blast. I started walking, starting out at only 11 minutes, and then building on this. My dear mom bought me a pair of Ecco walking sneaker/sandals as an early birthday present. They're funky, orange and grey, and give me just the pep I need! I walked with my pal Cammie on Wednesday for a full 22 minutes, and today drug myself to the gym to try out the elliptical trainer. Oh wow...was that hard!!!! I'm not sure that my body is ready for that thing yet. With my rubbery wobbly legs, I drug myself over to the treadmill and went for another 16 minutes. I'm so happy with myself. I'm so happy with the energy I have. When I reached 10. 12 adn 14 minutes on the treadmill I asked myself if I needed to stop, and the answer was "no...not really!" Isn't that amazing? I feel so energetic after 50 pounds. 50 more pounds, what on earth is that going to be like? Uncharted territory......
C-Ya! JJ
I'm ready to lose the next fifty!
Apr 16, 2007
The doctor made a deal with me. He said that if I walked 20 minutes per day, I'd lose another 50 pounds by the next visit in July...three months from now! I say, aye aye captain! You've got a deal! You're on! Yes sir-ee! Okey dokey! When can I start?!?
Things I can do today...
Apr 15, 2007
A person at my support group meeting yesterday had a great suggestion...that we keep track on a regular basis of things that we can now do that we couldn't do prior to the surgery. So, here goes my list.
I can sit in a shoe store and cross my legs to unbuckle my shoes, put on socks, and tie up (or velcro up) my shoe while my foot is on my knee. I know, because I did it three days ago! This definately is something that I could not do before the surgery.
I can walk on the beach and get less exhausted, so much so that I actually volunteered to retreive more things from the car..meaning a second trip! This is definately something thta I could/would not do three months ago. I remember walking, getting my feet stuck in the sand, pulling them out, only to get the next one stuck on my next step. What a sweaty, exhausting mess! What will it be like in 50 more pounds!?! Can't wait!
I feel less like the Michelin tire man. I mean, I feel my limbs extending out from my body. They feel longer, more gangly... but I know they're not longer, my fat is just receding!
Love ya, JJ
Energy Galore!
Mar 21, 2007
My Colitis has acted up the last couple of days, thrill I know. BUT, I did lose almost 4 pounds during the last 36 hours! Isn't that funny? Now I'm officially down 41 pounds down (or 42 depending on the time of day). I know that I'm not supposed to weigh myself each day (nonetheless several times per day!), but I'm on a roll at the moment, and having fun watching those numbers go down...
I'm feeling a lot better this afternoon, and I'm really having fun with all of the extra energy I'm feeling. After work I'm finding the energy to do laundry, pick up around the house, clean the rat house, and a bunch of other things. These things would usually have to wait for the weekend, and they were never very much fun. I preferred to sit around, lay around, watch tv, spend time on the internet, etc. 41 pounds is a lot of weight I'm seeing! I feel lighter on my feet, and am not constantly looking around for a seat when I'm out. Just imagine 41 more pounds, and then 41 after that, and then after that! I keep teasing Bernard that I'm going to drive him crazy with all my extra energy....maybe I'll have to start walking the dog. She'll appreciate it I'm sure!
Ok, see ya later! I want to find something else to do!
JJ
Walking Is Getting Easier
Mar 17, 2007
Today Bernie and I woke up before 6 and jumped in the car to take a day trip to Chico. I'm feeling more energy than before, and finding myself wanting to stay up later, and get up earlir. Amazing.....I know. Bernie has affectionately called me "la grande dormeuse" or "the big sleeper!" because I loved my bed so much, for so much of the time!!
Today the weather is beautiful, and we walked around downtown Chico for some time. Although I did get tired (and sweat, and had rubbery leg muscles) after about 15 minutes, I am aware that I'm taking baby steps (but steps none-the-less) towards health, and stamina. Three months ago, acutally just two months ago I would not have been a happy camper walking around in that heat, and would have wanted to find a seat at each turn. On top of that, I would have been worried if that particular chair would be strong enough to hold me, or whether the chair's arms would be too tight around my hips/butt. ONe stress after another. Life that obese was not fun. As of today I've lost 38 pounds, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. 38 pounds I'll never have to see again!
Love ya, JJ
Tough Keeping Food Down
Mar 15, 2007
These last few days I've had something interesting happen to me at each meal. Shortly after I begin eating, I feel very full, uncomfortably full after just a few bites. It becomes really uncomfortable, and then I feel like I need to vomit. If it doesn't come 'by itself,' then I make myself vomit. Gee wiz! Is this wat being a bulimic feels like? I so do not want this to become a habit, but it almost is! I'm wondering whether my stoma (the opening between my esophagus and new pouch) is becoming narrowed, maybe with scar tissue? I know that they say that vomitting can increase during the months after surgery.... Well, I hope that it calms down, adn that the food starts staying down. Or maybe I'm just able to eat less than even up to this point what I've been used to eating? That would be interesting!
I've been getting up early in the morning to work out to the Biggest Loser DVD, and I can see that I'm increasing my stamina. When I put my hands on my hips or on my side, I can feel my muscles working, and that feels sooooooooo good!
Luv JJ
