NorCalCutie
Disappointment
Feb 26, 2010
Had a 4 month follow up today, it was my 3 month that was delayed because this was the first north bay appointment that I could get with my surgeon.
My surgeon was disappointed with my weight loss. He stated that I should be 20lbs lighter than I am. I could offer no valid excuse as to why I have not lost more weight. All of my excuses were just that.
I am working out but I balk at my work out buddy Donnas attempts to get me to go. When I do go, I am lazy with my work out, barely getting my heart rate up to where it should be. I've only done the nautilus equipment once since my surgery.
I was tracking my intake religiously until Mom went in for her open heart surgery. Sitting bedside for 3 weeks was a challenge emotionally and I haven't really tracked since then and that was 2 months ago.
I don't know for sure if I am hitting my daily protein goals. I do know that I am missing my fluid intake and my vitamin requirements.
I've stopped seeing my shrink because I'm sick of her cutting me off to share her surgery experience or to hear about how her single friends also think that it is difficult to meet men in the north bay area. I have heard all of her stories multiple times. The last time I was to meet with her she came out to get me 30 minutes after my allotted appointment time which pissed me off. I refused to be charged full price for a 15 minute appointment. I left telling her that I would call to make an appointment but have no intention to call.
I have been grazing on carb laden snacks and eating total shit. Eating at home is a chore, unless of course I'm noshing on carbolicious items like crackers. I like eating out because it is yummy. I am not making appropriate choices at restaurants and I take the left overs home and eat on them multiple times.
I'm squandering this huge investment that I purchased for myself. It's akin to buying a brand new car and leaving it sitting in the drive way. The end of my honeymoon period is rapidly approaching. If I am not careful I may not be able to get below 200lbs.
After the kick in the ass my surgeon gave me today I came home and purged my house of carbs. I made multiple calls to psychologists to find a new shrink and am hoping to find someone to help me really work on my issues vs. charge me $100 an hour for me to just bitch about things. I can get the same thing from my cat and the only thing she requires of me is wet cat food. I'm hoping I can interview the shrinks to see who will be a good fit. I may meet with any of them that take my insurance to see who is the best fit.
I've come clean to my family and close friends. I texted Donna about the surgeons disappointment and I know that she will now double her efforts to get my lazy bum to the gym.
He wants me to lose 3lbs a week. I am to make an appointment with him to follow up in 3 months. If I am unable to make 3lbs a week he wants me to meet with him monthly. He has offered me phentramine but I don't want to take it because I don't like the way it makes me feel and it makes my blood pressure go up.
It's time to hunker down and get to work.
