Olivia L.

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**UPDATE: I just got back from my post op appointment. I weighed in at 352. The last time they weighed me was May 19th and i was 376, so 24lbs. I guess thats a start!! I was told to start on the puree diet so i am enjoying some pureed oatmeal right now. We'll see how i handle 2 ounces of it.


So tomorrow I will be 1 week out from having RNY.  Yesterday (Sunday) i finally was able to take normal sips of liquid. However, when i try to drink Glucerna, i get slightly nauseous. SO that might mean i will need to be on clear liquids for longer than i had hoped. I just bought a case of Isopure ALpine Punch flavor drinks. It has 40 grams of protein in it per bottle! So if you have two a day that is more than enough protein per day. But i wouldn't have 2 a day because the cases are $40. As far as how I'm feeling, i am in no pain at all and I'm ready to hit the gym again! I don't want to waste anytime building muscle. my incisions seem to be healing just fine. I just got my Optisource vitamins today, i am not looking forward to taking them. For this brand it says take 4 chewables a day. I am gonna have to find a new brand.  

In other news, i have been watching the food network since i got home from the hospital. Something about watching all that amazing food being eaten, satisfies me. You would think it's torture, but its just the opposite. Sucking on my tropical sugar free Popsicles satisfies me just fine! And my raspberry lemonade crystal light. OH and chicken broth, but not too much because i looked on the label for the Swanson broth and it says 680 mg of sodium per cup. I think that may be wayyy too much. so i only had it once.

well that's all i have for now! I will be updating my weight on Wednesday after my follow up appointment!!

 so i am officially a post op gastric bypass patient! i still cannot believe it. Now that i'm back home, when i'm not drinking fluids, i feel the exact same as i did before i went into surgery. i have no pain at all. AND there are only 4 small incisions on my stomach. I was shocked. I wanted to ask the surgeon if he really did the operation. The only problem i had was drinking the Glucerna shakes. I had to drink 4 ounces in 1 hour in order for them to send me home. Well, after just drinking water and cranberry juice, the Glucerna felt like i just ate a huge steak and potatoes. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It just felt terrible sitting in my stomach, but i had to drink them in order to go home so i did. Now that i'm home i am going to take my sweet sweet time drinking everything. On another note, I gained 10 lbs during my 3 day at the hospital. I'm  guessing thats from all the liquids they pumped through my veins, but they didn't even weigh me during my entire stay so that was a little weird. But i am so glad to be home, i have one more week off from work then its back to the grind which means i will be going back to the gym. i am so excited to see this weight come off! i;ve been waiting a long time for this!

in 14 hours i will be having gastric bypass surgery. I am still in shock. I really cannot believe it!!! i am going to milk this surgery for everything its worth. Tomorrow marks the first day of my new life and i am not going to stop until i am 100% happy with my body.  I plan to be at my goal by December of 2011. After tomorrow there will be no more excuses for not going to the gym. I have a pretty solid routine now but i am going to take it to the max as soon as i am healed. I really do not want to have plastic surgery but i feel as though it is going to be inevitable.

So theres really nothing else for me too say other than this website has been like a second home to me for the past 2 years since i joined. I love all the responses i get from the forum and especially how quickly i get them! this site is going to be a life saver after tomorrow!
 

Two more days!!! i have never wanted the weekend to end faster! My RNY is on Tuesday June 15th at 10 am. i have successfully not had a single piece of solid food since June  8th, i have had about 5 protein shakes a day.  i am starving but no piece of fucking food could make me go off track now. I am SO close to my new life!! The only thing that i am pissed about that i was hoping wouldn't happen, is that i began my period today! Like most overweight women, i have very heavy, thick periods. The last place i would ever want to be while on my period would be in a hospital with people around me 24/7. So hopefully it will stay light until i am able to go home on Thursday. 

In preparation for my new life, i just cleared out my entire kitchen and stocked it with protein. so all my cabinets and refrigerator are empty. If it;s not there i can;'t eat it right?!  I keep my scale in my kitchen so i can weigh when i wake up, and today i weighed 362. I was in the 360s two years ago when i began this process. My highest weight was 428 in August of 2009. So i guess i have lost over 60 pounds, on my own, in 10 months. If i can do that with just diet and exercises, what can i do with this RNY?!?! Oh man i just got myself even more excited. I can't wait till I'm healed so i can hit the gym hard. I know i am going to need a tummy tuck and possibly a breast augmentation (noo!) but i want to see what i can do with regular strength training. maybe my skin will snap back in some places. Either way, this past month has been so surreal and i am on cloud nine, patiently awaiting for Tuesday.

wow wow wow.

i really cannot believe that i am having RNY on tuesday. It's taken me two years to get to this point, although i'm only 19, it seems like i have been going through this process for so much longer. I am more than ready to start my new life! This website has truly been one of the biggest parts in helping me get to this point. As someone who hates going to group functions, having my questions answered on the forums within minutes has been a godsend. The WLS in your 20's forum has led to me to find people who are my age and going through the same experiences as me. No offense to anyone, but i cannot relate to people who are in their 40's or older and have kids and are married with a full time job. It's a totally different world being in obese and in college. My only real responsibiblity is getting good grades. That's it. The rest of my day is spent either at my part time job, or at the gym. So i have 10 times more time to dedicate to this surgery than most people. but anyway, i just can't believe i am actually going to lose weight this time!

please send me good vibes! and messages with words of encouragement!!!!

so i have been on this protein shake pre-op diet for a few days now, and i have never had so much gas in my life. It must be all the protein shakes and protein bars. its non stop all day really. good thing i don't work around a lot of people,  otherwise i would have to hold it in all day.  But speaking of the pre-op diet, the only protein shakes i like are the Boost chocolate shakes, probably because they have so much sugar in them. Each day that passes i get more and more stressed that i am not doing enough or getting enough vitamins. I am more concerned with this pre op diet than with what i'm gonna need to eat post op. I have 18 days until june 15th!!! 18 days until my life starts!!! also this is my last year as a "teenager" so thats sort of depressing, but i guess that means my 20's are gonna be fucking awesome because i am gonna milk this surgery for everything it's worth. 

anyway, i bought a piece of "goal clothing" today. Its still from a plus size store but it's soooo adorable i had to buy it. it's hard to describe the pattern on the dress but it's basically a black dress with some white and a thin yellow belt. its a size 18/20 and i am a 26 right now. i am not even going to try it on when i get it because i will get sad because i know it wont fit so i am gonna put it in my closet for a few months. out of sight out of mind.

that's all for now folks!!

i had my pre-op visit today with the nutritionist, the surgeon, and a nurse from the bariatric ward today. I am not nervous about the surgery itself, the only thing that has me so worried is just knowing WHAT and HOW MANY vitamins to take.  I am comfortable with the post op diet its just the damn vitamins. There are so many brands and i got a million little samples today, but i just want to make sure i get enough of what i need. i do not want to start off on the right foot. i do like the opurity chewable tablets, but that seems like it will get very expensive, very fast. 

When they weighed me today and i am at 376.4. i have lost 13 lbs since march 3rd. if i had started the diet i am on now, earlier, i would have probably lost about 30. but i can't go back, i can only move forward. But the hospital is sooo nice, they have a 10 private rooms only for bariatric patients. They suggested to buy something to wrap toilet paper around so you can wipe your own ass. Honestly, i do not want a nurse wiping my butt, i know they signed up to do that on occasion, but, no thank you. I also better not be on my period, because that will be the biggest mess anyone has ever seen. I am sort of glad that family is not allowed to stay over night. I sort of want that time to myself, plus i'll only be there for two nights. I am just so excited to get this started.

In one month, on June 15th, i will have my RNY!!!!  I never actually thought i would be so close to having it. It always seemed like something i would always be trying to get done but would never actually go through with, with failing at the 6 month diets and all the insurance crap.  

My highest weight was in august of 2009, i weighed 428. WOW. Sometimes i would look at my mom and think, i cannot believe she has a child that weighs 428 lbs. I am so happy i will finally be able to look like a normal human being. Since August i have lost 50 lbs. That number really discourages me because i know i could have done better. But i can't go back and change that, i can only move forward. The bottom line is i lost 50 pounds and that's that. No more wallowing in the "what if's". That has kept me down in the past and i will not let it happen again.  

I am meeting with a woman tomorrow who had DS in 2006 so i can ask her some questions. But is the diet for DS the same for RNY?? I'll go ask on the forums.  Anyway, i think i will start updating every few days or every week. Depending on whether or not something big happens.

ONE MONTH!!

my mind has been in a twilight zone since i got the call saying i was approved and then the call scheduling my date.  I truly cannot believe that i am going to be having RNY in just over 1 month. I have wasted so much time being obese, i want to have fun and spend my 20's doing what i hsould be doing! having fun! finding out who i am. i know by looking at my body that i am most definatley going to need plastic surgery. I am not excited about that, but thats the decision i'm making. I just want to be able to go to the beach and not wear a t shirt, get on a plane and not have to ask for a seatbelt extension, i want to cross my legs, i want to go dancing! i want to do so many things!!!

1 month!! 

so today i officially weighed in at the doctors and i am at 376. *sigh*

My highest weight was 428. so that is 52 lbs in roughly 5 months. dont get me wrong, i am extremely proud of myself, but it's just not enough for me. i look back on these past months and think i should have worked harder. i am watching the biggest loser right now and i hate how i keep comparing myselg to them. they work out 24/7 for months so its unrealistic for me to be anywhere near their success. point being, it still shocks me that i am 376 lbs. i am disgusted with myself. i want so much out of life and i finally know what i want to do (be an actress HA, no really) but i need this surgery first.
 however, seeing a therapist on a weekly basis does help...alot. i used to go every 2 weeks but i love going every week. its almost like the therapist is not there, i am just saying outloud what i keep bottled inside.

oh awesome, i just ate a whole box of Andes mints. so much for staying positive.