PlantLover

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Well I'll be 12 months out in a day or two. I haven't been losing much this month, probably going to come in at 5lbs down. I got laid off my job and am having some issues with one of my birds. The rest of this is about my 'tiel..

Parsifal is probably legal to drink all over the USA and Canada. She's lived with me for 18 years now.. She's a 'normal' (hah) gray cockatiel who is very shy with new people, but sweet and cuddly.  She won't eat pellets. I've tried multiple times over the years to convert her over.. managed to get my other bird (Mr I have Such an Attitude) eventually, but not her. Probably as a result of her seedy diet she developed a fatty tumour at the end of one wing about 5 years ago. She wound up having half that wing amputated at the local vet collage. (I am very lucky to live near a vet college! They were wonderful, and I suspect they wrote off 3/4 of the bill) She had a terrible time recovering from that surgery, it was a good year before she was back to herself. I call her my three-quarter 'tiel. (So rude) Anyway the tumour has been coming back at the end of her short wing.. 2 months ago I noticed it was getting really large, and she started losing the feathers around/over it. In August she bumped it somehow (tiels tend to freak out at night, that might've been it), and lost a lot of blood. Since then she just can't get a break..her weight's plummeted, she keeps having a bad bleed, starting to recover, then bleeding more.. she's just going downhill fast. I'm trying to feed her really well, lots of veg, but she is probably really vitamin deficient and dehydrated from the (*& bleeding. I put vitamins in her food and water and they've done nothing.  She's spending more time sleeping and I worry that she's in pain, though she doesn't seem to be showing it. Still wants to come out of her cage and snuggle, and get her head scritched. She seems to have her usual range of motion, though her balance is terrible.

I know at this point the only real treatment is to amputate the rest of her wing. But..I don't think I want to put her through it. Amputations in birds are dangerous. They would have to go right up at her shoulder which is really dangerous. She's really old and reacts badly to anaesthetic, more danger. She barely made it through the first amputation which was done when she was in much, much better health. She's not in good shape, she's underweight and there's something going on with her digestion, she's not pooping as much as she should be. I'm even worried that the trip to the vet will start her bleeding again, any little bump might do it.

Today I will bring her back to the vet college for a palliative consult. I'm so scared of what they'll tell me. On the one hand I really want her to live-she's my bird buddy!-but on the other is it fair to put her through something like that for unknown gain? She could die during surgery or only live a few months extra. Would she be in pain?  She's at the top end of the tiel lifespan already. Best case scenario, she lives a few more years with no pain, great quality of life. Worst case she dies in surgery or lives through it but has a crappy quality of life. It just sucks.

Will update after the appointment

4lbs this month. Just shoot me now. I'm keeping a 1000 calorie deficit, haven't been eating junk food...should be losing well.
Humph!

It's spring!

This time of year is full of contradictions. It's usually below freezing in the morning when I walk to work, and too hot to wear a coat when I walk home. The snow is going (mostly), but it won't be warm enough to plant anything outside until the end of May. I really should move somewhere with an actual summer!

I've been going through plant and seed catalogues like crazy.. I live in a basement apartment, but I have lots of big pots outside on the driveway that I love to fill with unusual combinations of plants. I am lucky enough to have a huge east-facing window at work, so I can indulge myself with plants there too.  I need more orchids!  I am going to grow cherry tomatoes again at work; the yellow pear shaped ones were a huge hit once people got over the idea of yellow pear shaped tomatoes. :)

Weight loss has been wildly up and down. That seems to be "normal" for me. I have to remind myself that I AM losing weight, and inches, and people are noticing. Ok not as much weight as some folks, especially those with the more complicated surgeries, but I knew that going in. Right? Right. I knew my metabolism was off from years of yo yo dieting. I haven't bought new clothes really, because all my pants have elastic waists. They're all huge in the legs now, but the waist still fits ok. I should buy some new clothes! And some undies.  Ladies reading this will probably relate- where'd my boobs go?? 

Yay! It arrived and I've been wearing it for one full day and one half day. It's not really uncomfortable-I was worried that the armband wouldn't fit my arms as I have some serious 'wing' action going on, but it's fine.  It feels a bit weird but I'm sure I'll get used to it.

The first day I had a lot of trouble getting it to synch and set, but today everything is fine..might just have been a bad tech day, I managed to completely unset my cable tv as well. 

The step counter actually works! I've bought many pedometers in the past, and they all failed to count a lot of my steps. I don't stomp around, I guess. Probably also my well padded waist blocks a lot of motion. This thing detects movement in space so it's not fooled.

It beeps when you meet your daily step/calorie goals. Scared the bejesus out of me. *g*

The real reason I bought it was to see whether my metabolism is really as shot as I think... I've got a loooong history of crash dieting, eating terribly, depression leading to not eating at all, etc etc. The first full day measured I burned 1541 calories.   Sounds good?  That's much lower than the 2100 bmr predictors! And that included my 30 min treadmill walk. (at 2.2 mph, 1.5 incline), running (ok trotting) home deliberately to see what happened and a fair amount of walking at work. I'm normally a LOT less active than that.   No wonder I lose slowly!  We have Monday off here so I should get good readings for more normal days.

So I'm really liking the GWF so far. We'll see how it goes.

Still haven't lost any weight.

I think I'm going to drop my calories back down to 500 and see how that goes.

I've ordered a GoWear Fit with the Xmas money I've been saving! I hope it will provide a good estimate of how many calories I'm really burning. I know I can't be anywhere near what the website BMR calculators say!

Well, 4 months out and I'm ready to give up.
 
I lost 60lbs but it's been a fight. The weight only comes off if I eat 400 cal/day. I can do it (barely) but I worry that it's a terrible idea both nutritionally and metabolically. My general doc had a *fit* when he found out, ordered me to double my calories. So I've been eating 600ish and not losing a freaking kg.

I guess I was wrong that my only reason for being fat was portion control/junk food. My metabolism must be seriously jacked up.