Jaime C.

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I know i have posted this picture before, but everytime i look at it, i can't help but to be amazed. I ask myself who the hell was that person???? I used to look at the picture and feel sad because it took me to a place where and when i was so unhappy with life in general. The feelings come back and it saddens me sometimes. I now can look it at me in that picture and i know i had to be there to get where i am today. All that heart ache and putting me last was worth every tear now. It's always easier said then done when i tell ladies to leave bad relationships and to do "you" for a while. Get happy with YOU- you have to be happy with yourself before you can truely find happiness somewhere else. I am not talking just weight... in general. I used to play the "what if" game all the time... "what if" I lost weight, would things be different, would he love me more?, "what if" i stayed after having WLS would he be any different? would we still argue, etc>? The "what if" game is so played out people. I did it for years and years... I can tell ladies who husbands and boyfriends cheat and treat them like shit to LEAVE... because that's what i did. Don't put up with shit ladies... you can do it. You can do better. Every relationship before i got married i thought it was the end of the world when it ended... well it's not- it's far from it. I can't stand to watch talk shows with these men on there who cheat and treat their wives and girlfriends like shit and the woman stay!!!! WTF... LEAVE. Take time for yourself to discover YOU. You will be surprised at who you find inside yourself. You may actually like that person.

I am back at my weight before i got pregnant. So i have officially lost all my baby weight. The good old BMI calculator still says i am overweight by 5 pounds so iam working towards that goal right now. I weigh 10 pounds more then my lowest weight ever since surgery. I try not to dwell too much on that, and i should really be proud that i have only gained 10 pounds since my lowest weight almost 4 years ago AND i had a baby. I think it's because i was there once, so in my mind i think i should be there again. I am training to do a marathon through Team in Training right now and did 8 miles this past Saturday. I feel good. I feel healthy and if anyone is interested in doing Team in Training for the Leukemia & LYmphoma Society  i HIGHLY recommend it. Get in shape while raising money for cancer. Working in the cancer center, i have a soft spot for this organization. Anyway, life is good and my baby will be 1 years old already on Saturday. I cannot beleive how time has just flown.

Hello, my name is Jaime and I work in the Cancer Center. I am very passionate about our patients and they have motivated me once again to commit to raising $2,250 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society as a participant in their Team in Training program. This year I will be participating in the woman’s 2011 Nike Marathon in San Francisco on October 16, 2011.   Working at the Cancer Center has showed me that life is precious and we cannot take anyone or anything for granted. I have seen first hand how the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society has helped so many individuals and families affected with any, and all types of cancer.   Please help me by supporting the mission of the Leukemia & Lymphoma society and my efforts by making a tax-deductible donation. With only a few dollars, you can make such a difference in someone’s life. I have enclosed a self- addressed envelope for your convenience. You can also visit me securely online at http://pages.teamintraining.org/sj/nikesf11/jcardwell. All donations will go directly to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  Thank you for supporting my efforts and working towards the same common goals to find a cure for cancer. I appreciate your consideration and your donation. Working in the Cancer Center, I take great pride in being able to contribute back to what I am so passionate about- the patients.

I have 4 more pounds to go and i'll be at my pre pregnancy weight. Pretty amazing. I feel great! The baby is about 10 months old now. Time flies when you are thin and happy in your own skin. I still would like to weigh 150-155. According to the good old BMI Calculator that we all just love i am still considered overweight. I signed up to do Team in Training again for the LEukemia & LYmphoma society and have raised almost $900. I am going to do the woman's Nike Marathon in San Francisco on October 16, 2011. This will be the second half marathon for me and second time doing this particular marathon and raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. 2 weeks ago i did the first leg of the Big Sur Marathon- 9.5 miles total since i did my first leg and didn't wait for the bus back, i walked back. It wasn't easy, but boy does it do wonders for the ego. Life is pretty damn good right now.

It’s funny. I am in the zone right now. It’s amazing how quickly your brain can get back on track if you really just make an effort. I weigh 166 today. Down 3 pounds this week. In a perfect world my goal is to weigh 150 again but as I get older I know deep down inside this is something that may or may not happen. I weighed 150 pounds as my lightest weight ever. That was exactly 1 year from surgery. I then put on 10 pounds when I joined team in training and did my half marathon. Obviously, that was muscle but since I have been 150 before, my mind is telling me my goals are reachable again. I have to weigh 155 to be considered “normal.” It’s funny; I am back at being overweight according to the lovely BMI calculator. It says I need to loose 11 pounds to be considered in the “normal” range. My blood pressure is still superb and yes, ladies and gentlemen I still take my vitamins EVERY DAY- morning and night. Iron and a mulit vitamin. I am guilty, I don’t take enough calcium. I have hit the gym hard this week and stupid me I am running a leg for the Big Sur marathon in May. It is keeping my mind on exercise and I think I am getting a little addicted to it. The past month has been good. I lost 4 pounds, drinking water again regulary and got back to exercising again. Oh, and I also stopped biting my nails which is a HUGE deal to me since I have been a nail biter all of my life. I spoke in front of our city council and thought I was just about going to die. I thought I was a better public speaker but my heart was racing and my back started to sweat! I took public speaking speech in college but daaaaamn I was scared. LOL I do so much better one on one communication and during work meetings. I think it requires practice and actually doing it to become good at public speaking. I remember during work meetings I was soooooooo scared all the time to speak. Now I can do it so well. I would have NEVER gone up there to speak if I still weighed 270 pounds. Never. I thought I was a lot more confident then I really am. Damnit. 

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I am 20 pounds heavier then my lowest weight. I am almost 4 years out from surgery and feel wonderful. I guess if they had to use me as an example, I would fall under the category of “success story.” As I get older, I realize that a “success story” has so many different meanings- almost all pertaining to weight unfortunately. I realize this now after experiencing the last 4 years of my life. Most of the things I have accomplished I would have never been able to do if I hadn’t lost the weight. I wish I could sit here and say that me losing weight had nothing to do with my accomplishments but that wouldn’t be entirely accurate. I am now convinced it had everything to do with it actually. I am so excited for people when I find out they are having this surgery because I know exactly the feelings they are experiencing. I have always said this and still do- this surgery is ONLY a tool, use it wisely. I am not perfect and I don’t claim to be. I still eat ice cream and crap and have my days where the fat girl comes out. I do know however, that this weight can come back and it will if I am not careful. Being almost 4 years out I can say the 3 things I have changed the most about me are the following; 1. I don’t drink soda. Period. Not diet, nothing. I have not had a carbonated drink since August 3, 2007. 2. I exercise. I don’t kill myself exercising, but I do exercise. I try and walk and keep a solid walking routine. I have never liked to exercise and I have been able to incorporate walking as my #1 means of exercise. I ENJOY walking. I have done half marathons and plan to do a full marathon this year. Walking has become a part of me. 3. I have little to zero toleration for B.S. when it comes to men and drama in general. My 7 year long dead end relationship has opened my eyes up and made me realize I am better then being treated like gum on the bottom of any shoe. My husband is the most wonderful man besides my dad in this entire world. As a little girl, I always imagined myself with a prince who treated me like a queen. I have that now, and tell ladies not to settle for anything else or less. I have been told he is one of a kind but my dad is like that as well and trust me ladies, there are more out there. I told my ex about 6 years ago that I deserved someone who adored me and would love me for me and treat me like the princess that I am. He just laughed. Well look at me now! Life has a strange way of paying it forward and getting sweet revenge in its own unique and special way. When it comes to drama, just stay away from it. Be your best friend, sister, wife or person you can be no matter what. I have learned either you are going to love me or hate me. If you don’t like me, then leave. Period. Life is too short to be hanging around or trying to please or cater to someone who probably in the end and the long run won’t ever be content. It’s not you, it’s them. Let them go. No need to walk on egg shells.                     Of course there are other things that have changed about me… Little things like always chose wheat instead of white, stay away from fruit juice unless it’s DIET, light mayo vs. real mayo, splenda vs. sweet n low, take the stair instead of elevator, etc. etc. It’s the little things that can add up and that matter the most. Be dedicated to yourself. Wait to have babies if you can right after surgery. Enjoy your honeymoon stage and get time to know yourself. I never really took the time to get to know myself before. Have fun be careful be true to yourself and know it’s not always going to be fantastic. Be aware of addiction transfers and find something you like to do other then drinking, shopping, men, gambling. Go out dancing, get your exercise on. Dedicate every pound you loose to yourself and promise yourself you will never go back to being that fat kid/ person again. Get right with your head. Go to a shrink if you need too. (I had to be put on medication). Believe in yourself and your own powers because you have them. It may take a long time to believe in yourself again but it does happen- if you allow it too. It’s okay to love and get your heart broken a few times. Life goes on and it must go on. It will go on with or without your ass so get it together. People are evil and ungrateful. People are going to be assholes. Allow these people in your life and let them go gracefully and tactfully when and if you find out their motto and their true being. It’s okay to take down your walls and boundaries with people because I believe there are more good then bad people out there. If you continue living your life with walls then you will block out opportunity for growth and to get to know the real people in life. You might miss out on something special. Use every experience as a life lesson and move the fuck on. If you have kids instill good values. No bullying and to treat everyone with respect and dignity no matter what they look like- fat or skinny. It’s a doggy dog world out there people and we can and have to raise our kids to be respectful people in our society. I have ZERO tolerance for bullying and I will be damned if my kid is out there bullying or getting bullied.             I feel like I am on a roll now. No really, I think a “success story” is what we want it to be. Everyone of us has the power to make our own story and destiny. I know I did, and enjoying every minute of my story.   

So I need to loose about 20 pounds before I can feel content about the way I look again. I have that fat girl creeping back and she just needs to get the hell away from me. I know I need to get this under control or game over. I refuse to put any more weight on. My ex was so against this surgery over 3 years ago. He used to tell me that I would just end up gaining it all back and then some and that is why he NEVER supported me and this surgery. Well, I have gained 10 pounds back but had a baby so that is my excuse. 20 pounds all together since my lowest. When I was training for half a marathon, I put on 10 pounds- muscle I am sure because how the hell and why the hell would you gain and not lose during training. Anyway, I am only 10 to 12 pounds heavier then I was when I got married. I still fit into my same clothes but my pants are a little snug and I need to get that in check. And quick. I am going to jump on the bandwagon like most of America and start January 1. There will be no more excuses, no more analyzing, no more justification to eat better and to start exercising again. NO EXCUSES! Damnit. This just goes to show that this surgery is NOT your saving grace. You will still struggle with food and weight issues and to use this as a TOOL only. I always tell the new people that. I might be considered a success story, but I still have to watch it and be an active participant of this tool I was given. In 2007, I would have never have thought I would have another baby. Well, here I am with a healthy breast fed (had to add that part in J ) 5 month old.