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Been a little nervous today. In fact, I ended up re-arranging all my kitchen cabinets and so forth just to keep myself occupied and do something with all this pent up energy I am getting the past two days. Must be all these shakes and stuff.  I did like 8 loads of laundry, about 6 loads of dishes (washing by hand), sorted through papers, throwing out tons of stuff on my desk that was cluttering. And now today, I moved all the drink glasses and coffee cups to the cabinet above my sink, and my baking stuff to the cabinet by the refrigerator. Organized all the can goods, and boxed foods etc. Got rid of a lot I wont be eating and bagged them up to donate to needy families in town. I tried to keep a lot of it though because I will still have to prepare meals for my Gram, Hubby, and three young children. No sense they have to suffer with my meal plan, none of them have a weight problem. All skinny as rails.

I noticed I am also a bit testy today. Little things are setting me off. For example, my husband has been gone since 7am this morning doing umpire games for softball and baseball, and calls me around 12:34 and says he is doing his last game for the day in a few mins and will be leaving right from there to go to his part time job. So he wont be coming home until 7pm this evening. Well..I jumped the gun and yelled at him and said sure ya are...ok np. I just hope you aren't just hanging out somewhere just so you don't have to come home and deal with me and the kids. Its like he hates being around us. Since he turned 50, he has no patience for our kids and acts like he's got to get out of the house and looks for excuses to leave. Lottery tickets, the store, etc. I don't bother him, I usually keep to myself doing my own thing, and I try to keep the kids under control doing their stuff so we don't bother him. But I mean seriously, is this the way I should live? I keep thinking maybe some day I will be skinny and he will regret all this crap.

Well tomorrow...I go in for my LapBand surgery. I am soooo looking forward to it. For my whole life to change for the better. For me to be able to play with my kids again, and be active again. Heck, maybe even find me a man that loves my me and the kids no matter what. =D Hey now, thats an idea! LOL hope he has money too. *giggles*  One thing at a time...first...the weight comes off. I am looking forward to getting back to the old me size, or less, AND...looking good. I am looking foward to the new me...  period! =D
Wish me luck! Will let ya know how it went after I get home and feel up to posting.

Today I met with Dr. Andrei and they gave me a surgery date. We will be going with the Realize Band procedure as of right now. But it could change as we find out from now until then what might be best for me, he said. The date is August 24, 2009. I wish it was sooner because of several things #1 it is 4 days after my daughter's birthday, #2 it is right before the kids go back to school so I have tons of things to get done. #3 it is scheduled for a Monday. My husband works, and doesn't have any sick or vacation days left for this. Ugh.

Well, yesterday I signed up for this website. Today, I got a phone call from St. Barnabas Office staff, Debbie.  She gave me information, faxed me forms I need to fill out for her and fax back...which I will do tomorrow morning. She said that after she received all this information from me, she would let me know in a couple of days if my insurance will cover or not then we go from there.
I sure hope my insurance WILL cover it this time. Because without it, I won't be able to get this done. I have no money to afford this procedure, and no credit to do a payment plan loan thing. Ugh!  I don't know why it always has to be so difficult to help people who are dying to save their lives.  Literally. We have to sit here suffering, dying a little more and more, waiting for a glimpse of hope or an approval, just to save our own lives from all the horrible choices we made to end up this way.
I have a dream...much like many of you. I want to be healthy again. THIN again. I hope this dream becomes a reality.Well, I am very sleepy. So I am off to bed. :)