Quillie

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I don't blog much at all, but thought I'd just give a quick update here. The operation went very well, yay! I'm two weeks out and down 10 kg or 22 lbs. This sadly includes my pre-op diet, I think I'm going to be a slow loser. :(

But slow and steady wins the race!!!

I've got my intake-date. Here I will take to the dr. assistant, about what I eat, how long I've been obese etc. She will also measure me and weigh me. It is the 29th June 09!!! They will be deciding whether I can get a DS from that point on. I so hope I'll get one.
Still have some weight to gain, but I've decided to play it fair. (especially now I've seen that I weigh 10 lb more when I put my scale somewhere else.)

I really want a DS, and tonight I'm going to bring up the wls topic. Tomorrow I will call and make an appointment for an intake. I don't know if it'll all go terrible wrong or not, but I need to do this, I really do.

I'm static, no, not estatic, just static. I don't move, I try to keep everything still.I don't want to move forward, I don't want to move backwards, I'm afraid to look left or right. I'm terrified to rock the boat. I just want to stay, stay still and hope it will all be over soon. That the wild water will just pass, that I'll get out of here without getting wet, without having to take a risk, without having to do anything.

It's not working, not even a little bit. I'm so afraid of change but I think the pain of this is getting to big, sometimes I want to tip my boat and just swim away. This hasn't brought me anywhere so far, I need to change, take the risk.

If only I knew what I am afraid of.