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Well, I am now 3 months out.  Down 40 pounds, 23 inches and solidly into a size 14... and the scale is holding steady....not going up but very sloooooooowly going down.  Got fill number 5; now at 8.5cc in a 9cc Realize band.  I am starting a 6 week challenge with my KY forum buddies and decided I needed to stop setting goals based on scale numbers.  If I continue to do what I need to do-exercise, eat right and pay attention to my band; the scale numbers will take care of themselves. 

Today, I did something I have been embarrassed to do for more than 1 year; I put on cycling spandex and went out into public!   No, I didn't just wander around aimlessly in bright spandex-I actually went for a bike ride.  I bought a pair of long cycling tights over 2 years ago...I bought them thinking I would lose weight and wear them the year I bought them.  They never fit.  This morning, after it warmed up a little, I thought, "let's try those on and see if I can get into them enough for a short ride..."  I did and THEY ARE A LITTLE BIG!  Well, now I HAD to take a bike ride; so I rode to the gym to work out! 

I also went shopping again in my closet and realized all my 16s are too big and time to try on some of those "smaller" 14s.  Yep!  I have rotated my wardrobe one more time...the "normal" 14s fit now so I feel it is time to dump the 16s and stop looking like a washer woman (as my grandma would have said).

Moral of the story-it's the little things....stop obsessing over the scale and start realizing how important the little changes are! (I say that to myself as well as everyone who reads this)

Okay-you know how you can get fixated on something simply because of what it says?????  Like the scale, or clothing sizes?  For those of you ladies that get your 30 minutes of exercise every day at your local Curves-I am sure you are aware they have their own line of clothing...."Curvaceous".  To celebrate your "Curves".  Over the last several months I have been keeping my eye on a pair of jeans my local Curves has had on display because I have heard how comfortable they are.  They are also quite expensive (50 bucks).  I NEVER spend that much money on one pair of pants, unless it has a jacket and suit top with it LOL!  This past weekend, I thought I would look at them closer because they are getting ready to switch to their spring clothes.  But bummer....they were a size 12 and I am just now comfortably into most of my 14s...so I figured NO WAY...maybe later.  For the first time in 2 years, the scale also dipped below 190's (188!) so I thought I would try them on for kicks and giggles and see just how tight they were...maybe use them as an incentive to keep going so strong and get into those 12s.....Well!  What to my wandering eyes does appear....THEY FIT; they were not even tight!.   Now, mind you....I know I am not a size 12 by any stretch (pun intended) of the imagination-but they FIT!  And are quite comfy and attractive if I must say so myself!  Did I buy them?????   YES I BOUGHT THEM!  OF COURSE I DID SINCE I COULD FIT MY AS* INTO A 12!    What a great marketing ploy-of course I know they are more of a 14 than a 12...but rationalizing this now....there is a standard sizing convention merchants must follow, right????  Are ya' with me on this?  Because they couldn't REALLY market them as a 12 if they weren't truly (by clothing standards) a 12 now could they?  OF course not!   How could I be such a doubting Tina??? 
Moral of the story.....rewards are a must in this journey!

Well, recently I have had several NSV's (non-scale victories) and I have also found a GREAT group of people on the KY forum that are just WONDERFUL!  But I have also worried that my band will not get tight enough (now up to 7.3cc in a 9cc band) and I will "diet" my way down to goal weight only to find out I don't have enough restriction when I need it...so I made an appointment to see my almighty nutritionist.  After reviewing about 3 weeks of food logs (LOVE the "RealizeMySuccess" site...sorry Mimi), come to find out I don't eat enough!   Never thought I would get to this point, hit a stall and find out I am not eating ENOUGH!  Go figure!  The scale hasn't changed in almost 3 weeks and I figured I was eating too much...and also the foods I was eating were typical "sliders"   stews, chili, soups, refried beans...all those winter comfort foods that I just LOVE this time of year.  After reviewing all my foods, my nut's sound advice was to:
1. Eat a little MORE each meal three times a day     
2. Make my snacks TRUE snacks; not additional meals and make them about 1/2 the caloric value of a meal 
3. Start eating foods that are "tougher" and
4. Get one more fill.
So I did, I got my fourth fill on the same day (Dr Tom worked me in) and come to find out.....uhhhhhh, this is what restriction feels like!     I have never had an issue with drinking-could chug anything including carbonated beverages if I chose to...NOW...if I drink too fast water gurgles in my throat.  If I don't chew chew chew and take small bites it sits in my chest like a load of bricks....if I eat too fast, that load of bricks stays in my chest.   I didn't realize all the bad habits I was keeping because I didn't have restriction and now that I do I am forced to drop those bad habits like....well like a bad habit   Now, I am feeling and experiencing all those things our pre-op classes talked about and how the band will make you feel if you do this or that.....
So, for those of you who aren't feeling restriction yet-hang in there and practice all the techniques you learned pre-op....because when you DO get good restriction you need to be able to rely on those techniques....or watch out!

Many times I wonder if I obsess to rigorously over staying on course....what would one Hershey's kiss hurt?   Probably nothing, but would I eat only one??????   NO!   I would eat 6, or 10, or whatever I could fit in until my band screams STOP!.  I feel kind of guilty because a person I work with and I had the same surgery one week apart.  I am dropping clothes sizes and she is not.  I am very aggressive about pushing for my fills, and remain very active with my nutritionist and support groups (including here  :o)....my co-worker is not.  We are approaching this journey very differently and that is okay...but the differences are drastic with our results.  So the ever-anal-retentive adherence pays off, but I am so in-tuned to feeling guilty when I achieve things and those around me attempting the same things don't fare as well.  So, I guess I feel bad about how people are commenting on my changes and also commenting about the lack of changes for my co-worker at the same time. 
As far as my determination-last week I tried on a skirt I had NEVER been able to wear (even when I bought it) because it was way too snug in the hips (size 14).  I am comfortably in a 16 right now and this morning I got up and said to myself..."Self-you are trying on that skirt again!"   And I did and I wore it to work!   IT FITS!!!!  And it is not snug, it fits RIGHT!  The small things like being able to "go shopping" in your own closet are what keeps me going...and what keeps that ONE Hershey kiss from entering my mouth! Never thought I would be proud to say....I AM A LOSER   

Hi all, I know many of my previous posts have been real up-beat and positive (at least I would like to think so), but this one finds me kind of down.   Over the past few weeks I have really lost momentum-I don't mean food-wise or staying on track with my food choices-I just mean EXHAUSTED Like hard to lift my arms exhausted.  I have been exercising each day and usually exercising makes me more energetic; but lately even looking at the machines makes me want to crawl in bed and snooooooooze.  I am taking my vitamins, getting a decent night's sleep and eating right....of that I am sure...but geez...is this normal?   Also I AM FREEZING ALL THE TIME!
I called my doctor, and spoke with his nurse and they said this is absolutely normal and expected....at about 2 months out your body sort of says, "WHAT THE HECK???" and decides that it needs to shut down and conserve because all of a sudden you want it to burn the fat stores.  He said it should balance out soon, but man am I tired (and cold LOL)

Yesterday I had my 3rd fill.  I went in with all my food diaries and notes on what I tolerated and what I didn't (very little) and was ready to "argue my case" for a fill-since I am still losing weight but really feel no restriction.  I was afraid he would say "No" to my fill.   Silly me....I think my doctor is more impatient for results than I am
Anyway I raised some questions, since the Realize only holds 9 cc and I am now at 7.3....I am afraid I may not ever feel "restriction" or hit that "sweet spot".  Does that sound dumb?  Can it really happen????  These are the questions I posed to Dr Tom and thankfully he did not laugh at me.  He put me at ease; and said that with over 550 bands put int, only 1 (count it....ONE) patient said she never felt restriction...she was also very non-compliant, refused to follow the program and is no longer his patient.  (Okay, I feel better since I am an anal-retentive OCD rule-follower...I know I know...awareness is the first step in recovery!   ).  The other thing he told me was the band usually "absorbs" some of the first fill so I probably don't have 7.3 in there now...maybe closer to 6.5 after the third fill and next time he will "recalibrate" it by removing everything in there and checking to see what IS there and re-filling it. 
We also talked about setting my goal weight (of course my opinion and his were completely different) and he really drove home the DON'T FOCUS ON THE NUMBERS! and scale head games that I "oh so easily" get caught up in.   I wanted a goal weight of 140, he told me I was insane (not in those words...but that was the point).  I am athletic (more so when my weight is under control) and I carry a decent amount of muscle mass-especially in my thighs from cycling.  Yes-the quads are the biggest muscles in the human body...so his point was if I drop too far below 150 I will lose my muscle mass; and really impair my cycling instead of helping it with weight loss.  Okay, okay...I am not going for the 3rd world country fashion-ista look-I am going for healthy so I guess I need to concede that one
I am so glad my friend sent me in Dr Tom's direction...not only do I have the best WL surgeon around, I have my own little cheering squad on my side with him and his office staff! 

Yeah, I know...as a lightweight I really didn't have as far to go to Onederland as many people do...but that doesn't take away from my joy at being there!     I officially weighed in today at 199 at Curves.  That is 29 down in 52 days since surgery and I could not be more thrilled!  Nothing is more motivating than the taste of success!

As we roll into the New Year and leave behind our former selves, I feel the need to reflect on all the changes and happenings over the past year.  Last night at my support group someone talked about a Vision Book and a Mourn Book regarding weight loss surgery and the drastic changes it makes on your appearance, personality and overall-being.  I got to thinking about what I would put in a Vision Book and what I would put in a Mourn Book.  She had said how it was so VERY eye-opening that the Mourn Book was only a few pages long and she was creating her third Vision Book in less than one year.  If I had to mourn leaving anything behind about being overweight it would be .....it would be......it would be......(wow this is harder than I thought....what WOULD anyone mourn about leaving behind obesity?????)  Okay, I mourn Chunky Monkey Ice Cream, and maybe mashed potatoes (I found out the hard way they are like eating wallpaper paste with a band and they just "glue" everything closed.....bad sliming experience....how do you "chew" mashed potatoes?)
I also started thinking about my Visions for the New Year and New Me:  not being the last one in the pack when the Cycle Club rides UP hills, putting on that oh so disgusting cycling spandex and thinking it actually looks GOOD  (okay, reality check-that day may NEVER come); hiking some of the beautiful hills and mountains of Southern Kentucky with my daughter and her friends and having to wait for them (as opposed to them waiting for me all the time); not minding putting on a bathing suit in front of friends, family or co-workers (okay; that day might not ever come either but a girl can dream right?); walking my dogs every night with no knee and hip pain....I can go on and on...but the fact is it is so much harder to find things I miss than find things I look forward to and can achieve.  When I made this decision around 6 months ago, I really thought I would be giving up so much in the way of food, comfort measures, coping mechanisms and lifestyle.  I did give up a lot-but I don't miss any of them (okay, I miss Chunky Monkey) because none of them were good things...they were all wrong or fall-backs because I didn't stop to think about a better way.  Sure, I KNEW the better way, and I could DO it; I just needed the tools, support and help to do it for life. 
My mother asked me this question when I told her I had band surgery (now...think about the irony and idiocy of this question): "Why don't you just put your mind to it and lose the weight again...you have done it so many times before?"  My reply was: What part of that statement/question are you struggling with as a reason to HAVE the surgery?????
Yeah, okay...I concede, I am a relative newbie on this path and I am sure there will be many frustrations and stalls along the road but I also know, with the help of my OH family, my angel, my friends and my surgeon (and staff/support team) I am not sitting in the driver's seat and traveling alone. 
One goal I had personally set for myself before New Year's was to be less than 200 lbs.  Maybe I need to learn a little patience as I weighed in at 200.5 lbs this morning and Onederland peers around the corner.  BUT....as a very wise woman said...throw away the scale and get out the measuring tape! 

Well, if you are reading this; you probably also see that my first fill was only 7 days ago, and it was a very aggressive 5 cc fill at that.  Today I had my second fill.  I have also lost another 4 pounds since the first fill (so Sonja, ....why the fill?)  After meeting with my nutritionist Monday and our long discussion of realizing I had no restriction from the first fill, she encouraged me to ask for another fill as soon as he would do it.  Dr Tom, being the busy and wonderful man he is...could not fit me in until after Christmas.  I told my nutritionist and him...that my willpower and dedication is strong; but even a weeble will roll itself off the boat now and again...so he fit me in for today-7 days after my first fill.  He went over my dietary log, talked to me at great length and said; obviously the system we have created is working if the nutritionist can identify these signs as well...He then I asked if I was okay for the fill, did I think I needed it?  I told him I had no sense of restriction; only did for about 2 days after my fill.  That it was my control that kept me from eating (that and my anal-retentive planning ahead that always kept me eating every 3-4 hours....and having the "right" food on hand); and that frankly, I wouldn't have had this tool inserted if I thought I could manage my eating 24/7/365 on my own....He got a grin on his face, and said; Well, then let's do it.  He then proceeded to tell me he has never advanced anyone this fast and I had to BE CAREFUL with what I eat and how I eat; and that he wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been so diligent so far.  Also, my starting BMI was about 37 so I don't have as much to lose as many of his patients and I will probably need more restriction than those that have much higher BMIs.  So...I got a 1.5cc fill, to add to my already 5cc and I will be treading on thin ice and really REALLY being careful.  I do NOT want to get sick and I really want to continue my current trend.  23 lbs off since surgery on 11/12/08.  Down a size in clothes and already thinking about looking at the next size down since these are baggy!
YE HAH!    Off to the gym again today...(oh yeah, I think I need new sweat pants because mine keep sliding down when I'm doing cardio!)   

Today I met with my nutritionist post-op (5 weeks).  I took in 2 weeks worth of food diaries from the Realize web site (yes, even the day on which I ate lasagna and Graeter's ice cream...only a spoonful).  We talked for over an hour about time lines, diet trends, amount I should be eating and whether or not I have any restriction from my fill.  She seemed a little surprised that I could eat more than 4 ounces at a sitting and wasn't experiencing any "testing" of  my band.  On occasion I will feel water sit and slowly go down, but the most I have had is some nausea (like after eating lasagna).  After working through my food diary, she said...you know you have pretty much done all this without the aid of the band if you are feeling nothing...or just stopping eating at a certain amount?  I told her yes, I was commenting today that my drive and will power only lasts so long and I don't know if I can make it through the holidays with no restriction.  She also told me that since I did not have as much to lose (weight) as most people do, I would need a lot more restriction in my band to "feel" restricted and she felt I needed another fill.   I told her when my next appt was (Jan 16) and she said, "oh no, ask him to get you in before Christmas".  So I did, and he agreed to get me in in TWO DAYS!   I told the nurse that was a fill only after one week from the last and he said, "I asked...he said he will do it since you are so on program and exercising and following all the rules".  YE HAH!   I get another fill Wednesday!
Anyway, my nutritionist also said I can stop protein supplements since I was averaging 90 gms a day!
I know it will get harder, but I also need to know I have a tool to help me and to let that tool work...that's why I went through all this!