reagan

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Im officially 4 months out now and im down 75 pds.  Im really starting to tell it now i love it!!!  Im actually starting to get looks from guys now which i havent gotten in many years.  that feels good, but no amount of looks from guys can compare to the way i HOPE my husband looks at me when he gets home.  Im really making sure that im getting my water in cause i think that is making all the difference for me.  My hubby has been in a terribly  foul mood lately when he calls home, i know he is miserable its so flippin hot there.  All there thermometers only go to 125 and they are all always at 125, and in the last 2 months they have really stepped his missions up he is going out for 2 to 3 days coming back and leaving the next day for 2 to 3 days all the time and he is so sick of it, I try to tell him though that i really rathere he not take it out on me which he is doing and i know he doesnt mean to but he is still doing it. Anyway he is leaving iraq september 19th for good (hopefully) and hopefully he will be home by october 1st.  it will be almost 1 year and a half total that he has been gone, and let me just say it has been a rough road with out him here.  There are days i have to remind myself that I am married and not a single parent.  sometimes its like i am all alone and doing it all by myself.  I dont like makeing all major decisions on my own especially when he thinks i made a bad one, but i have also learned a few things to, one being that im strong and im determined and i can set goals in my life and make them.  Also if i ever were to be single not that i think that will happen but if by chance it were, i could do it im more than capable of doing it.  But i still want him home today!!  We or i should say I am in process of buying a house and this has been really hard bymyself all that paperwork and crap but it should all be ours by the time he gets home and we can move in so im excited about that.  Im not so excited about my job, i have to say i feel like a complete idiot most of the time there it is really a high stress job and i dont know if i can handle it.  I told my husband today that i will give it 6 months and if i still hate it then i will transfer to another floor, i hate to waste peoples time i think i can do the job but they are rushing me to get out ther on my own so fast i mean you cant make misstakes or have accidents in a critical care ICU you just cant and it terrifies me.  I pray all the way to work every day, please god dont let me kill someone, like i said it is so stressful, i dont know i guess i will play it out and see what happens.  My daughter starts back to school monday and that sucks i hate getting up early. i love to sleep in it honestly makes me happy, some may call that lazy but i call that next best thing to heaven!!!!

Went to the big 3 monthcheck up yesterday with the nurse and nutritionist even though its actually almost 4 months but anyway.  They said i was doing fantastic, my labs look good and im eating about the right amt.  i have lost 72 pds to date so that is exciting less than 30 away from losing a full 100!!  As I have said before my next goal is to weigh less than hubby and he weighs 198 so i feel like that  is attainable and hopefully i will get it done before he comes home in october.  Well im off to work!!

I found out i passed my state boards yesterday, i am so happpppy and soooooo relieved i cant even put it into words.  Also awhile back i was trying to buy a house and the seller backed out at the last minutewell turns out he wants to sell again!! im so excited of course wont get to excited till i got something in writing but things are looking up for me im so happy!! BUT and isnt there always a but my weight loss has slowed way down ive only lost 5 pds in the last 3 weeks and im eating right, hopefully that will turn around.
well gotta go, im babysitting my beautiful niece today while my sister is having lap band surgery!!

Well, Ive been working at the new job and im just not to sure about it yet, I feel very uncomfortable there, kinda like i dont belong there.  I dont know its really to soon to tell.  It was actually kind of funny, I havent told anyone there that ive had RNY, for one thing ive just met them all and for another its really none of there business, if it comes up then i will be honest otherwise im not saying.  Anyway the other day it was lunch and in the cafeteria all they really had that i thought i could eat was meatloaf so all i bought was a slice of meatloaf and took it up to the floor and started eating, one girl comes over and says is that all you got?  I said yeah im on a diet a protien diet, she looked at me and said well your going to be sorry cause its a longtime till 7:30 and your going to be starving by then.  I thought to myself honey you got no clue!!!  then today one of the girls said man you dont ever eat very much, i said well im trying to lose some weight she said dont you get hungry and i said not really, she said there aint no way i could only eat that much and make it till 7:30 and she was a little skinny thing to.

Now about my hair, I have very thick hair and naturally curly.  So im starting to lose some and since my hair is so thick I never thought it would bother me but im telling you it is very alarming when your washing your hair and you pull out a handfull it is really kinda scary, im thinking yeah my hair is thick but my gosh what if this goes on for 5 more months wont have anything left!  and the texture of it has changed its all dead looking and frizzy  its awful and it wont style it just lays there.  Im thinking of getting it cut short but that worrys me to, it seems the balder i get with short hair it would show up more.  I dont know, i guess im going to have to try some zinc and biotin i just didnt want to have to take any more stinkin pills than i already do but i will if it keeps me from going bald.
I have to take my boards saturday and im terrified i will flunk, 3 people that i know of in my class has flunked so far, I have studied but probably not like i should,  Im going to hit it hard this week.

My husband has been deployed 1 year today.  It seems like yesterday though when he left on the bus with his unit .  I bawled all the way home!  We have a little over 2 months to go before he finally gets to come home for good (or till the next deployment)  But thats the way the ball rolls i guess, for some reason though i just miss him more this time, and he is the same way he never use to get home sick but this time he hashad some really tough moments just like me.  I just hope he doesnt have to go back there or God forbid Afghanistan next.

I give up on the picture thing it is maddening, obviously its this website i dont care what the powers that be say.  It wont let me delete it wont let me open them so to heck with it ill post what i can and if it looks like crap then i guess it does!

I am at this point in time down 63pds.
Right arm was 14 in. at 2 months out now at 13 at 3 months
Hips at 2 months out was 56.5 now at 3 months its 52.5in
Waist at 2 months out was 48 now at 3 months it is 46 in
Right thigh at 2 months was 26.5 now it is 23 in
Right calf at 2 months was at 18 now at 3 months its 16.5
 Not to shabby if i do say so myself!!

Im really disgusted with the picture situation on here i have all these little white boxes with red x's in them and it is really ticking me off and i cant get them to delete!!

I was just thinking that these pounds are coming off so fast but that darn BMI seems to barely move sometimes!!

I lost 5 pounds over night!!  that sds so crazy but its true.  I have officially surpassed my first goal!!  Last summer i was doing weight watchers and lost around 45 pds and got to 233 pds.  I set my first goal for 232 pds and I have reached it and passed it over night!!  WOOHOO!!