1st Year anniversity

Jul 18, 2010

                Well it has been a year, I am adjusting to my new way of life well. I continue to work out with weights 4 to 5 times weekly, and cardio as well 20 minutes daily. My weight is for the most part stable running between 125 and 130lbs. I still have problems with nausea but have never thrown up. I find myself trying to slip into some old habits, which scares me abit.....using food as a comfort tool mostly. I cant eat sweets but I found a granola bar with dried cranberries that tempts my sweet tooth. It is 140 cal and 6 gram sugar, 6 grams protein. But I find myself eating them 2 to 3 times a day, even when not hungry. That and I have been sampling some forbidden foods, french fries (just a few), chips, i even attempted a thin slice of cake (that was a mistake).  I know it does not sound like a big deal but I fear I am on the bad track straight to obesity again. I would rather have my mouth sewn shut than be fat again!!! I know many of you understand why I am so afraid ...it is that feeling of not being able to control your need for certain foods, like a drug addict except with food....except you can stay away from drugs when you quit , but you still gotta eat......! I dont know....I am probably blowning it out of porportion. But right now that is how I am feeling.....I am so grateful I was able to get this surgery, that I had a wonderful doctor , and I have relatively few negitive side effects. I have much to celebrate, i love my new body!!!,  I love wearing pretty clothes and even having my picture taken, I love feeling strong, being able to move with out an enormous effort, I feel healthy and no longer fear I am at risk for a heart attack or stroke. I always am mindful that surgery is a tool and I must still remain determined to win the fight against obesity, sometimes I just wish it wasn't so hard.

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