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Today is Thrusday and I'm getting ready to feed my father-in-law.  The CNA came in yesterday to bath and groom him.  Her name is Melisa, and she is in the process of getting approved for a 2 year wieght loss study.  She wanted me to try this route instead of the Lap Band surgery I'm trying to get approved for.  I explanied my numerous health problems and she agreeded that I probably wouldn't get approved because she said they want people with no health issues, just overweight.  Melisa, said some of the participants were going to get placebos and that would be taking a chance, which I wasn't willing to take.  

I told her, that I'm ready to loose weight now, and that after alot of prayers and research, I was ready to take this drastic measure.  She said, that it was the right thing to do, in my case.  

What a georgeous day!!!  Basically, just took care of my invalid father-in -law, went shopping with my daughter.  I took her to Sephora, to get some make-up, and played around trying new perfumes, and lip sticks.  We love make-up!  

We then went to Linens and Things, to buy a dutch oven to match my other cook ware set.  It was on sale plus I got 20% off with their coupon.  My daughter saw a pasta making machine she wants to get for christmas and made sure I knew which one it was so I could get it for her.

I then got home and marinated some 1 1/2" T-bone steaks for dinner.  My husband grilled them some 2 hours later, and boy were they tender and came out great!  He has come along way since we were first married 26 years ago in the cooking department.  

Kelly, offered to clean up after dinner so I just relaxed a little before I had to go in and feed my father-in-law.  

It was a day of ease and relaxation and I loved it.

Tomorrow is Monday, and the whole routine starts over again.  I only hope it's pretty uneventful and safe.

Well, yesterday I got the stress test behind me.  It was very unpleasant, but I expected it to be so.  

Originaly, I was to have the chem. test, but I asked to have the treadmill-cardiolite one instead.  At first they did'nt want to do it because I had taken a beta blocker, and they didn't feel I could get my heart rate up high enough to have a sucessful reading.  I asked if we could try anyway, and they finally agreeded.  

It took twice as long to get my heart rate to over 140, and it took several levels of speed and tilt adjusments.  I got it up to 150, but I felt like I was going to faint and I couldn't catch my breath.  My blood pressure rocketed to 200/190, which was scary, but the doctor was there just in case.  He had to stop the test because my legs felt very heavy and I was close to not being able to move them, let alone, breath.  As soon as I got off the treadmill my blood pressure dropped back down to 130/90, which normal for me.

I had to have an "Echo", afterwards to check the condition of my heart valves.  The tech. made me nervous, by asking so many questions about why I was getting these test, yet when I asked her how things were she quickly told me she couldn't disscuss any findings with me.  Bummer!   

I then had to go and have more pictures taken of may heart to check for blockage.  These took about 40 mins.  

I can hardly wait to go over all my test with Dr. Liu.  My appointment is not till Dec. 1., but if they find somethin amiss, they will call to re-schedule for sooner.  I hope they don't call, no news is good news, under these circumstances.  

Well, I'll just pray, and hope for the best.  May it come to pass...

Well, today went by fast.  I did the laundry, and that took a good portion of the day.  There's always alot, and we're just 4 people with my father-in-law.  It takes awhile because I stay on top of it by hanging and folding as it comes out of the dryer.  I finished at about 3:00 p.m., and I cleaned and fed my invalid father-in-law in between loads.  He's alot of work, but I do it for my sweet husband, who does so much for me and the kids.  

Anyway, tomorrow is the day.  The "Stress Test".  I kind of wish it was just the treadmill one, but the doctor feels I need to do the chemical one.  I have to keep telling myself, it'll come to pass, and be behind me soon.

Thanks to robin, I love seeing my profile now.  It's sooo.. pretty!   She's such a dear and I hope we can become good friends.  I need to give her my phone# incase she needs to talk to me.  I really still am in awe, about how wonderful most of the people I've found on this site.  It  makes me feel comforted to know if I have any issues on my journey, they'll always be someone here to do a little hand holding.

I'll check back in after my doctors' visit!!!  Rose

Well, I had an eye exam this morning, at 10:30a.m.  The doctor said I had 20/20 vision and my diabetes hadn't harmed my eyes yet, which was a good thing.  She still wants to see me in 6 months just to follow up.  I'm thinking of getting colored contacts. just the same.  I've allways wanted to try them and see how different I would look in lighter eyes!  I'm thinking maybe green, just for fun.   

Anyway, I'm still looking after my invalid father-in-law,  It's hard work, and I really don't have the freedowm to leave the house any time I want to go anywhere.  So for now  I'm pretty much house bound.  My husband thinks I'm great for doing this, but I told him I'm doing it for him, because he's so great with me, and it's just part of loving him,(my husband).  I just don't like being so housebound.  

Well, Thursday and Friday, I go back to the doctor to get my stress test and heart sonogram.  I'm supposed to wear comfortable 2-piece outfit with tennis shoes.  It's supposed to take about 3 hours a day, so they told me to take a lunch.  I'm suppose to eat after each test.  How strange!  

Needless to say I'm stll stressing over the chemical induced stress test.  I truly pray it goes well and that they'll be no problems.  My husband says it will be allright, and I trust him.  He really feels this WLS is the right thing to do.  I agree.  Now I just need to do what I need to do to make sure I get approved for it.  So if that means jumping thru hoops then I'll just have to do it. 

Today went by fast.  Taking care of my father-in-law really keeps me busy all day long, and it was 12:00p.m. before I could take my daughter to the eye doctor to check her eyes for new contacts.  That ate up about 1 hour, then we had lunch at Johnny Carinos italian restarant.  She loves Italian food, but it I do say so myself, I fix it better than they can.  Anyway, that took about 1 1/2 hours then I took her home and she went back to bed for a nap.  My husband then wanted me to go to "Lowes", with him to find a few things he needed.  I told him I needed some new work-out clothes and we stopped at "Cato's".  He went to the pizza place next door, and had a beer and waited there till I was done shopping.  I found two sets of sweat pants and shirts that were in the clearance rack, so I made out like a bandit.  We didn't get home till about 4:00 p.m. , and he had to start the grill so that the riibs he was fixing for dinner would be ready by 6:00 pm.  Then I had to feed and clean my father-in-law up.   My husband is an "Texas Aggie", and he's watching the game on t.v., which allows me a little time to log on the journal.  He's already come in to kiss me to 2x's so the score must be good for them. You know, it's their saying, that when the football team scores, everyone scores, hence the kisses.  I like that tradition!!!  
Well, not much else to say except, robin, is trying to help me with fixing up my profile and I'm waiting to hear from her.  She is sooo... sweet to help anyone who wants this done.  Again, I'm really impressed with the calaber of people we get on our site!!!  Wonderful,  99.9% of you out there, well of course there is always that one out there that likes to stir the pot, but we do well to ignore them.  
I'm really kinda scared about getting my chemically induced stress test.  The last time I had it done it was so painful to my head.  I have a venous malformation at the cardtriod artery that has formed a loud burit on the right side of my head.  Lately, when I stand up, after sitting down for a long period, I get a shooting pain on that side (right).  It's more like a sharp pressure that takes a few mins. to subside.  I worry that the induced pressure may rupture the vein in my head, and It will give me a stroke or something.  I think I read that someone else had the same expreance with the test being painful but i forgot who it was, but I do know I read it on the memorial page.  I can't even remember exactly what the cause of death was.  Anyway, I can't let this stop me from my goal.  I'll just have to trust in God, and know that he has a plan for me, and I can't let this get me down.  May it come to pass.  

Well, today's the day for my first cardiologist consultation.  I'm hoping it goes well.  Dr. Lui, gave me a stress test 6 years ago, and I checked out O.K., but lately, I've been out of sorts.  My left leg feels sore and I get muscle spasams on occasion.  My left foot sometimes swells, if I've not moved around enough during the day.  My left arm and the left side of my neck feel sore in the mornings, and I have to stretch to get rid of the stiffness there.  I don't really have chest pain, but on occasion, there is a little bit of tingle on my left side of my chest.  Usally if I haven't moved around enough during the day.  If I'm more active, like go shopping, where I'm walking around for a good length of time, I feel good.  I also want to address, that I sweat profusely when ever I do any kind of physical activity, such as walking, and exercise.  I don't feel bad while doing this, I just sweat alot and my face turns bright red.  No heart pain, or dizziness, just sweating.  I haven't experienced heart palpatations, or heart racing.  When I do go to the gym, I can stay on the cardio machine for an hour and get my heart rate up to 170, and other than the extreme sweating, I feel fine. I actually feel better.  Getting to the gym is hard to fit in my schedule because I care for my invilad father-in-law. He requires 24 hour care,and I'm the one that stays with him.  My husband is trying to get him into a nursing home, but is running into some problems.  At this time it would be private pay, and we really can't afford going that route, hence, me being the one to care for him till we can find other avenues.  So O.K. guys, wish me luck with this doctors visit , so I can be that much closer to WLS.  Adios! 

Halloween today!  Kelley and I got all the candy bags ready for tonight.  We made up 140 bags of snickers, milk duds, crunch bars, etc.  I live in a gated sub-division of 230 homes, but somehow we all get alot of kids comming to the door for treats.  Anyway the little ones are sooo.. cute!  The teens come after 9:00 p.m. and are well behaved.  I just hope we don't run out of candy like last year.  Kelley is a little upset, because her spanish club is having a "rose wrapping ", meeting tonight, the club president forgot it was Halloween and schdueled the meeting to get the roses ready to sell at school tomorrow.  She's pretty disapointed because every year she dresses up like a princess, and  has fun handing out candy to the little kids.  She waits all year for it and this year she may not get home in time to do it.  I told her to tell everyone to work fast, so they can finish quickly.  She told me that alot of the kids in the club are not showing up so they'll probably be short handed.  My poor Kelly!  I'm hoping she can get home by 6:30 or 7:00 p.m. so she can do her thing.  I also mentioned that her most favorite T.V. show will be on tonight, (Ghost Hunters) and will be on from 10:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m. , so all is  not lost !  I guess it means I'll be staying up "really late", tonight  (with her).  For those of you that have never heard of this show, It features a group of paranormal investigators, called, "The Atlantic Paranormal Society", ( I thinks that's right), they have all sorts of equipment to record "E.V.P.'s, and vidieo hauntings thru out the U.S.  She introduced me to it, and I was skiptical at first, but watching the show can be pretty convincing.  I really look at this as time spent with my teen and something she ejoys sharing with me.  It's (watching the show), really kind of fun seeing them explore "the other side".  Well, that's all for now, anyone reading this have a great evening and stay safe!!!  

My daughter, Kelley helped me add some photos to my profile,but she couldn't put in the one for the I.D. profile.  Anyone out there have any suggestions??   It said that the file could only accept 20,000  something or others.  My daughter said the picture was too big.  I don't understand, so till I can figure it out I won't have a picture on my sign on profile.  I added pictures of my husband, daughter, cat, and dog.  Just a few so you will be able to picture them when I speak about them.  Oh, and my daughter added a picture of my paealla, because she thought it looked so pretty!  It's an old family recepie.  She also thought it would be a good idea to add an old picture of me in my youth.  As you can see, I didn't always have a weight problem, At least not until I reached my mid 30's.  Till later!  Rose

Hi to all the great ladies who have agreed to add me to their "friends list". It really shows how great all of you are in your support of this , "big project", we all are doing. Cherblues, Kathryn R., Karla N. and Cheryl N., thanks again for the hand holding on "my project".  

Any and all comments, suggestions, or directions will be greatly and humbly, received.  

I have been a resident of Helotes now, for about 5 years.  It is located on the outside of  Hwy. 1604 and Bandera Rd. in San Antonio.  My family, moved to S.A. 12 years ago, due to my husbands job transfer.  We both grew up in Corpus Christi, Tx. and had lived there all our lives prior to moving to S.A.  We now consider ourselves, San Antonians.  We love it here and  now consider it our home forever.  

We have 2 kids, a son 25, and a daughter 17.  My son has his own place in town and works in the health industry.  My daughter, is at home with us, and is a senior in high school.  

They are all behind me in this decesion I've made to have WLS.  They feel, as do I, that it will greatly enhance my quiality of life here to fore.  Let us pray, that this is the way to go.  As you can tell, I'm nervous about  the surgery, but I know it is the last go round in my quest to become healthy.  

As with most of you I have been thru the  mill, with all sorts of weight loss methods.  I want to be on "the loosing side" once and for all!!!  Enough, with not feeling well, enough with carrying 150 extra lbs. around, enough with hurting, and not being able to control my diebetes!!!  I want this luggage GONE!!!!   

Please God, help me in my last endevor to feel better and be better.  Ladies, can you tell I'm committed to this effort?  Help me get thru this, and God bless each and everyone of you.   Till next time,  Rose