Heather S.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Well yesterday was a busy tired blur. My daughter and her friend were up half the night giggling and I didn't get much sleep, and didn't get to sleep in either. I was so full and feeling sick from eating so much Friday night that I didn't want anything till dinner time. I had a shake, and then another shake later before we went to the grocery store. I did fine there so I'm proud of myself for that. Got healthy things to make for dinner for my daughter, and picked up a bunch of shakes, jello, and some tea for me. Today (day 7) I've been extra hungry, but since I cheated I'm basically starting over battling my hunger. I've got another headache like I had during days 1 and 2, but I'm not feeling as cranky. Maybe because I know it'll get better. I'm halfway through my pre-op diet now, a week till surgery!! I'm determined not to cheat again, I'm still hoping to loose some more before surgery. 

Well, somehow I missed writing about day 4. I guess that means it went well. :-) I'm not nearly as hungry as I was 5 days ago, my body is getting used to the restricted diet. I'm avoiding having to look or hear about food in person or in the media, out of site out of mind...kinda. lol I went and weighed in at my doctors office this morning, I needed to see that this liquid hell was having some effect. And it has! I'm down 12 lbs since Friday 1/30!! I know it's mostly if not all water weight, I haven't been this un-swollen in YEARS but its still great seeing those numbers go down! Now I'm sure I can do this! :-) 

Well I was doing so good. Then I went to my water aerobics class, and took my daughter and her friend swimming. Jordyn (my daughter) had a sleepover, and of course after swimming the kids were hungry. I got them pizza (1st mistake, because I've been craving it since day 1) and stuff for ice cream sundae's. And doughnuts for their breakfast in the morning. I was starving by the time I got home from swimming and the grocery store, and I couldn't resist. I ate what felt like a ton. In reality I couldn't eat as much as I usually do, but it was still WAY too much, and none of it was liquid. :-( Oh well. I'm back on track now, with a huge stomach ache. :-P

Well, I've made it through day 3, and I'm feeling much better today. I don't know if my body's just getting used to the liquid diet and limited caloric intake, or if it's that I had 3 Premier Protein shakes instead of Atkins. The Premier have 30 g protein per shake and Atkins only has 15. So I've had twice the amount of protein, and I think it's working to make me feel fuller longer. I've also had more energy today than I have the past two days. I've had quite a problem the past couple years with water retention, but with all the liquids and only liquids I've been peeing non stop, and I'm hardly swollen at all anymore. It's great! I got the house cleaned up this evening, and got a lot more done than I'm usually able to at a time. 11 more days till surgery!! I can do this! 

Ok. Day 2 of the diet from hell. My stomach won't stop making noises at me, and food is everywhere. I had to go to the grocery store this afternoon and just about chewed my arm off. I spent SOO long looking at the broths and soups...trying to convince myself that tomato soup and butternut squash soup are liquids and would be ok (even though my dr said only protein shakes and clear liquids) I can have broths, but have swelling issues and the sodium content in most is ridiculous!! I settled for buying some Premier Protein shakes (more protein than the Atkins ones I have, which I'm hoping will make me feel more full), some low sodium vegetable broth, and some sodium free chicken boullion. By the time I got home, my daughter was answering everything I said with "I'm sorry!" (guess I was a bit snappy) and later said she hopes we both survive until my surgery date! Poor kid...I'm hoping things will start getting better in a couple days once my stomach is convinced I'm not going to give in and feed it a Dominos pizza. Which really really REALLY sounds good right now. OK thinking about something else! I've had a headache since last night that I'm thinking is related to this whole liquid diet thing. Hope that goes away by tomorrow. It's just enough to hurt and be annoying. I did have a question I keep forgetting to ask my Dr, and that is why no caffeine? I'm not a huge caffeine junkey, usually just have a 32 oz soda a day. Every now and then a cup of coffee. I get why carbination is a bad thing after surgery, and the sugars in the soda goes without saying, but why is caffeine a no no? 

Ok, night is truly my enemy. I need to figure out how to sleep without a stomach full of food. I'm used to insomnia, but I usually eat and eventually go to sleep. Now I can't sleep but I can't eat 'real' food either. I know eating late at night's not good and a habit I have to break. Ugh. In my desperate bid to ease my growling stomach and head hunger I just ate the ENTIRE package of sugar free jello I made for snacks for the next couple days. 4 cups of jello at once. At least it was sugar free, low calorie and low carb. And my stomach is beyond full now, but my mind is still telling me to eat. It's saying "you've got a can of cream of chicken soup in your pantry Heather, that's liquid, just dont eat the pieces of chicken" I want my mind to shut up because that's not on my approved list of foods. Ugh. 12 more days. 

Well today (2/2/15) was the first day of my pre-op diet, or as I'd like to call it after only 1 day, HELL. I'm so hungry and trying not to think about that or food of any kind, and all anyone wants to talk to me about is food. My facebook page was filled with the most delicious food. I think I hate people. lol Well, not really. And I'm staying positive, my surgery is a goal worth suffering for, and the new improved healthier me will be my prize. :-) 

I'm soo stinken' excited!! Insurance has finally approved my surgery, and I have a date! I'll be having surgery Feb 16th 2015!! Monday I start a 2 week liquid diet and then surgery! I'm super nervous and super excited and a bit scared if I'm being honest because surgery is a big deal. But I can't wait for it to happen and start the journey to a healthier me! 

I love my Dad. I really do. But he really doesn't understand me and my struggles at all. Just a few minutes ago he was talking to me about it, saying that my problem is that I eat too much and don't exercise enough. I explained to him that I AM eating fewer calories, and I AM trying to exercise and move more, but with all my health issues it is difficult, and that I have problems with water retention too. He just doesn't get it. And in an argument said "You're a big person, and we're tired of having a big person around." Way to be supportive Dad, and Merry Christmas to you too. 

It's been about 5 years since I've last posted...wow, it doesn't seem like it's been so long. I'd like to say a lot has happened, but really things have been pretty stagnant. One good thing (i guess you can count it as good?) that has happened is I'm no longer pre-diabetic, I'm diabetic controlled by medicine and diet. The only reason I can count that in the 'good' category is that as a diabetic I'm eligible for weight loss surgery through my insurance (OHP, Oregon Health Plan). Since getting diagnosed diabetic, I looked into weight loss surgery twice, and because of the distance I'd have to travel to go to appointments I wasn't able to continue more than a couple appointments. I'm not able to work currently because of my health, and trying to live on a fixed income while supporting a daughter is not easy, and doesn't leave much for extra gas money to get to doctors appointments 1-2 hours drive away from me. I'm lucky I have an awesome PCP, she heard that the weight loss surgeon at our local hospital was going to be able to accept a limited number of patients with OHP, and immediately thought of me. I have been seeing Dr. Guillermo Higa for almost 7 months now, and I'm currently waiting for insurance approval. He's said once it's approved (and I should know in a couple more weeks!) I can schedule the surgery. Because of holiday plans, and a required 2-week liquid diet prior to surgery, If everything goes as planned, I should be able to have surgery the week of Jan. 12-15th!! I can't wait! 2015 is going to be my year! The year of Health! 

I've been hanging out on the non surgical board. I think I've given up on the hopes of surgery, at least for now. I've been following Atkins since the beginning of Nov. 08 and I've lost 48lbs so far, despite some challenging times where I've fallen off the wagon. Everyone's been super supportive, and I know thats part of the reason for my success. I've never had so many friends who were looking out for me and encouraging me on my weightloss journey. It's great. Atkins is really hard for me to follow, but I am a carb addict, and bad carbs go straight to fat in my body. I've recently been diagnoised with PCOS, and have been told that a treatment for that is weightloss, but it makes it difficult to loose weight on any plan except low carb ones. I'm really trying hard to stick to the plan. Spring and summer are coming, and I really want to be healthier so I feel like playing with my daughter more and doing the fun things I used to like to do when the weather's nice. July 21, 2008 I was up to 447lbs...I'm hoping that by this July I'll be down to 347lbs, a hundred lbs gone. That would be so nice. I only have 35lbs to go to reach that goal, and 5 months to get there, so as long as I stay on my plan I think I can do it! 

I've tried almost every diet I can find, but either I give in to temptation and quit or I don't give it enough time and quit. I am a quitter, but the one thing I can't quit is overeating. Now I've reached the point where it's really effecting my daily life. I need a seat belt extender, I have my daughter help me put on my socks, my feet and legs are swollen most days and I have severe arthritis in both knees. My back hurts from three previous injuries and the weight I lug around. This past summer when I took trips to the zoo and state fair with my sister and daughter, and had to ride on an electric scooter because I wasn't able to walk around all day with them. I'm missing out on my life and, even more heartbreaking for me, my daughters' life.
 
        I've had my thyroid tested with the hope that there was a problem with it, that it was the root of my constant weight gain. It's not. Which means its me. I am addicted to food. I eat because I'm bored. I eat because I'm happy. I eat because that's what I do. I sit and eat. And I need help.

       I was trying to get my insurance to pay for gastric bypass surgery, back in 2006 when I had kaiser, but I was fired march 2007 and am currently unemployed. I am going back to college, with the help of DHS and have  the Oregon Health Plan. I found out a couple months ago that OHP was allowing clients to have gastric bypass surgery, but only if they had type II diabetes. I never thought I would be tested for diabetes HOPING that I was diabetic, but I found myself praying for the disease. I mean, what's one more co-morbidity?? I already have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, asthma, edema, arthritis, depression/anxiety...you would think that plus my BMI of 71.5 would be enough to qualify me for weight loss surgery. But it turns out that I'm not diabetic, and I'm told my insurance won't cover it, although my PCP and mental health councilor both have encouraged me to fight for it. I'm just not sure how, or what I need to be doing now. 

       I wish I had a way to just pay for it, or finance it and pay it back. But I am a very poor student right now, with bad credit to boot. I know if I could have the surgery as a tool to help with my weight loss I could be successful. I imagine what my life could be, should be. Then I look in the mirror and see what it is now and I feel very helpless. hopeless. I don't want to wait too long, I want to be able to live my life now. 

       If anyone knows how to go about appealing a denial, or even how to get my insurance to deny me so I CAN appeal, e-mail me and let me know! All advice and help is very welcome! I'm going to try to keep my page updated, and will be checking in often.  :-)